Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle
Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
291–300 of 329 posts
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#292You sound really lonely. When are you and your family building bonds with other families?
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#293Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not OP but, I don't have any issue with legacy, but I do with purpose. What's the point of it all? That's my core struggle.
I would say that, if one asks this question to often, then it's a sign of depression. Non-depressed people don't worry about such issues.
I have been told this before, by a therapist. The problem is, the first time I asked this question (the first known time at least) I was 6 years old. It's recorded on home video.
I've always wondered, if "god" made us, then who made "god"? And why? What am I doing here? Work, eat, sex, get old, get sick, die?
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#294I'm going to go with a contrarian take here and just say: It's OK and even mentally healthy to want always more.
As long as you are not giving up your health or your family in the process, I think career wise it's always a good idea to be looking for more. Either an even better job, or to create passive income to not have to work anymore. But many of us feel the "happiest" when we are working towards a specific goal for a brighter future.
Whether we reach or don't reach the goal doesn't matter as much as just feeling the struggle and the improvement. You are just currently in such a comfort zone that feel like this is the "end", but it isn't. You can aim for more and it is ok. And paradoxically you will feel better in your current situation, when you know it's temporary and when you are already working towards a different/better future.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#295Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not OP but, I don't have any issue with legacy, but I do with purpose. What's the point of it all? That's my core struggle.
I have two thoughts on this, though I think the distinction between legacy and purpose is ultimately pretty thing. 1) Why does your existence need a "point"? Is the need to define such a thing coming from something innate, or is it a reaction to the world and expectations around you? 2) Define your own purpose, that's all anyone has ever done. There is nothing inherent. You almost certainly can't go wrong by giving y…
Regarding (1) ...
There's also a somewhat therapeutic thought pattern that goes something like this:
Would I even want to live in a world where someone, or some thing, has pre-determined my purpose?
... I think it's relatively easy to say 'eek! No!'
So then, define your own purpose (2)!
Ok... I can do that. My purpose in life is to just get through it, not give up, and try when possible to improve the lives of others, especially children and young adults.
I guess the secret is in finding peace with that purpose. It's not grandiose, it's not going to leave a mark, but it's probably the most realistic based on my aspirations and drive. Of course I'd love to say that my purpose is eradicating some childhood illness, or starting a business empire, or discovering a new form of energy... but yea, those aren't realistic and are likely to make me feel worse if I try to adopt them as my purpose in life.
Anyways, just my thoughts as I digest your post. Thanks.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#296> So HN, how did you settle and slow down and become happy with the way it is without always wanting more?
Just get some chickens: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2018/03/02/f...
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#297Most people here would probably tell you how arrogant you are or how to find happiness in what you do. But do you know that people in common spend 20 years to find the real proficiency?
It’s easy to know if you're there or not by asking a single question - Do you find purpose in what you do? You can be a software engineer and work in cloud computing for example. But deep inside you know that you never cared about clouds and always wanted to help people to get to space.
I personally know that no matter how good the work conditions would be, I would not be satisfied until I would work in the game industry. Until I know that my input helped to put smile on thousands of faces.
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#298Practicing gratitude for what you have is of course wise, and there are techniques that are helpful...gratitude journals, meditation, etc can be helpful.
However when I read your post it sounds to me like perhaps the issue is not a failure to be sufficiently grateful for what you have. It sounds like there is some desire, deep within you, that is going unmet. You have checked off everything from your list of Stuff You Thought You Wanted and yet something is still missing. It seems likely to me that that something is in fact missing.
You say "it's never enough", you "want more". But what exactly is it that you're wanting? What's the "enough" that it isn't? If you can look closely at that feeling with real curiosity and some gentleness...maybe there's a clue there as to what's going on. What's the reality that is going on (eg. "I'm often feeling deep failure and shame", a fact) vs. what's the narrative you're telling yourself ("Nothing is ever enough for me", a judgement you're making)?
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#299Why would it be ?
What you are describing is stagnating, as a worker and as a person. Life is made so that we always want to push and grow ourselves.
You want to do your own thing ? Do it. If you don't you'll have regrets later
Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?
#300Earlier quoted context omitted.
What was the main difference between the two locations? Are these major cities or more rural? I am thinking of a relocation to a less city-like environment but worry about the loneliness factor. The cities offer people, but less hobbies I'm interested in. City hobbies are mostly social and drinking oriented.
As someone who has split time across rural/urban life, going rural to get away from drinking oriented socializing is probably not going to work as well as you think it will.
How so?