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Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

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251–260 of 329 posts

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#251

Take psychedelics and meditate together with your life-long partner and to discover some long neglected parts of your body and cells and sensors as you sense the universe As within so without As above so below It is through a greater discovery of your physical manifestation that you gain deeper Insight into the fabrics of reality What a wonder it is to be alive The present is a gift from the world Time is ephemeral.…

Thanks for your post. What psychedelic would you recommend for this?

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#252
post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> * It is a cliche, but kids are only young once. Enjoy that time. I don't know if I'm wired differently, but my oldest kid is in HS and my youngest is halfway through elementary school, and while I didn't hate the time I spent with my kids, I don't feel like I derived a whole lot of personal enjoyment out of it. I still would make the same decision -- feeling loved and cared for rather than abandoned is a great gift…

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I find it rare for parents to share the non-glowing reviews, and it's refreshing to hear.

Also, I do want to say it's not like I hate spending time with my kids (setting aside the usual annoyances of dealing with misbehaviors), but in terms of pure hedonism, there's plenty of things I enjoy more that I don't do as much because it would be shitty of me to never be around.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is possibly true. I'm in my 50's now, and when I was in my 40's, my life-situation allowed me to pursue a lot more outside interests and hobbies. I had a lot of different outside activities, and would go out after work 4 nights a week with something different. A mass-layoff 5 years ago changed my circumstances in a lot of ways. I have another job - one that I love probably much more. But I relocated, and where I…

What was the main difference between the two locations? Are these major cities or more rural? I am thinking of a relocation to a less city-like environment but worry about the loneliness factor. The cities offer people, but less hobbies I'm interested in. City hobbies are mostly social and drinking oriented.

As someone who has split time across rural/urban life, going rural to get away from drinking oriented socializing is probably not going to work as well as you think it will.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#254
This is very simple. Happiness is generated and defined by moving towards a goal that you really believe to be valuable.

Arriving at the goal is mildly relieving briefly then almost immediately after anxiety inducing due to sudden lack of purpose.

Your purpose is to make then world a better place.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#255

You are describing the hedonic treadmill. Essentially, you become used to your surroundings, and while they are objectively great, from the perspective of inside your own head, this is now normal and you / your monkey mind wants more. There have been a lot of post floating around the internet with various solutions, the most popular being Stoicism > Positive Psychology / Happiness research > Buddhism / Meditation. I'…

Correct. It works in reverse too. Anecdote: As I deployed to Afghanistan from my duty station on Okinawa things got progressively shitty. Okinawa -> Manas: Living conditions suck but they have a decent chow hall. Manas -> Camp Leatherneck: Crappy living, crappy chow. Camp Leatherneck -> FOB: wow this sucks. FOB -> combat outpost: holy shit this sucks! How am I gonna do 7 months of this?! I did. Got used to it. Was ac…

> -> combat outpost: holy shit this sucks! How am I gonna do 7 months of this?!

> I did. Got used to it. Was actually kind of fun after awhile.

Huge yikes. I can understand adapting to the circumstances, but the concept of combat deployment becoming fun is highly alarming to me. My most charitable interpretation—that your sense of fun was derived from camaraderie during downtime under difficult circumstances, not from actual combat action or from thrill-seeking in a defensive position—the most minimal yikes I can muster is “I would never wish to watch MASH on fast forward this way”.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#256
post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've done an extended backpacking trip (4 months). Probably took about a month before feeling like a truly therapeutic break. I don't think a week would have been nearly enough.

Did you live out in the wilderness that whole time or travel around out of a backpack? The two are obviously very different so am curious your experience. I have had friends who have backpacked along the PCT, CDT, AT, etc. and they all returned different people.

AT 2016 SOBO section hiker. Just the northern half (from Katahdin to Harper's Ferry), so I might have only came back half a different person. :) I took it pretty leisurely and stopped in at towns often, so I probably averaged about 9-10 miles per day. I'm not an outdoorsman by any stretch, but it was nice to just get away for a while. Definitely made me appreciate the small and simple conveniences of civilization that I often take for granted.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#258
do more atelic activities

go for a hike just for the sake of going for a hike draw something just for the sake of drawing

as in, don't go for a hike for the exercise, or to get better at hiking don't draw to get better at drawing

also, and this is just a personal recommendation, learn another language

also, do charity stuff, or volunteering, I've heard it helps

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#259
I’m in the same spot as you, more or less. What has allowed me to settle down is picking all the milestones I want to accomplish before I die. House remodel, travel, health/fitness, personal hobbies. It’s then fun to talk about these with my, finding out what her milestones are, and grinding together to achieve them.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#260
post #177

The most meaningful thing I've found in the world is to help others. But I think good intentions are not enough - it is important to care about how effectively you help others. So I recommend Effective Altruism - a community of people working on making the world a better place while focusing on effectiveness of their actions. https://www.effectivealtruism.org/ For over 10 years I've been giving at least 10% of my inc…

Can you give any advice on how to get in the right mindset to give significant part of your income to charity? Or did you have no trouble deciding that? I understand how fortunate I am, but I cannot convince myself to give.

I came to the US from Russia at the age of 11; it probably helped me recognize how fortunate I was. Later, learning about the extreme poverty that exists in the world (far surpassing what I saw in Russia) I realized how much more fortunate I was to have had the luck of being born where I was.

One way to conceptualize things is that you are a consciousness that has won the birth lottery - being born into a well-off family, or at least a family in a rich country. I don't believe in souls - this is just a way of thinking; a hypothetical to imagine, akin to "what if I was born a minority, or a member of some persecuted group". The realization that you could have been unlucky may help empathize with those less fortunate.

Branko Milanovic, a world economist focusing on income (inequality) points out that 3 of the biggest contributors to one's income are (a) the country you are born into, (b) the income/wealth of the family you are born into, and (c) the gender. Note that all three are not something one can choose. So the "lottery" of life I describe isn't just metaphorical.

I don't think I would be willing to give 10% of my income if I didn't learn about how cost-effective charity can be. For example, with a $0.50 donation to SCI a child will be provided an anti-worm pill - curing and preventing parasitic worm infections for about a year (see GiveWell to learn more).

I recommend reading the short but super-influential essay "Famine, Affluence, and Morality" by Peter Singer. And after that, read some books by him too.

https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/get-involved/videos-books-an...

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