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My rule of thumb is to assume the best in regards to tech, and be skeptical in regards to politics. That includes your manager and your CEO. You should be advancing your manager’s career. If you’re not, you’re at risk. So assuming good will in that situation is a recipe for nothing good.
>You should be advancing your manager’s career I thought feudalism was a thing of the past
Another aspect is understanding the reasons for choices. Sometimes we're just ignorant of a better way, and we need to be gently led toward that way. Sometimes we're aware of a better way, but we choose a "less-good way" for good reasons. Without understanding the reasons, we're liable to react from a position of ignorance, even though we may feel like it comes from a position of superiority/authority. No matter the reason, patience is the most constructive virtue here.
Then there's the psychological flaws some of us have, like perfectionism, anger, impatience. Sometimes we need help to overcome these persistent conditions; mentoring is helpful, but so is counseling. I have spoken frankly (but with respect) with colleagues in the past who had some persistent issues, and they did take the feedback and improve themselves. Won't always happen, but many people do want to be better.
When someone is reacting poorly, if we understand that there is a reason they are reacting poorly (whether it be psychological, intellectual, social, or just having a bad day), we can react to it dispassionately and rationally, and help them calm down and work through the problem. And by "them", I also mean ourselves. :)
After long experience, I always assume bad intent. I'm rarely disappointed, when, in the due course of time, that turns out to be the case. In the few cases where that turns out to not be the case, it is a pleasant surprise.
Life is too short, for me, to assume people are out to get me. If I figure out they are, I’m generally deft enough to get them out of my way or get out of their way.
I’ve worked with real assholes though (to the point I can’t believe they weren’t fired). These have been blatant though like literally yelling at people in the office in addition to being intransigent. In those cases I recommend quitting if your financial/life security allows it.
I can't handle the mental burden of constant negative criticism. If I truly believed everyone was out to ruin it, I'd quit. Eventually I'd live in the forest
At most I'll scoff about the thing and try to help. It's more self preservation than anything - choosing their ignorance over malice
Assuming bad intent is often unproductive and hinders getting work done. 95 percent of the time there was no ill intent and just a mistake, misunderstanding, or misread tone. If you assume poor intent and let it change how you act it ends up causing the person to react in a (more) negative way.