61–70 of 329 posts
Find meaning outside of your income source. Perhaps more time with family, or a hobby you enjoy, etc. Settling is a derogatory term for knowing what enough for you is.
Oof, this is a pretty profound statement!
Some advice from someone a bit further down the career path: * If you want to try something, try it! Save up some runway, do your own thing. Try some other projects right now, don't wait. (You won't be able to devote full time effort to them, but can still make progress.) You may find that what you dream about isn't all that, or maybe it is. Either way you can take steps forward. * I learned to be happy with my life…
YES. Not "this weekend" or "when things open up a bit," do it now. The river won't part for the stone voluntarily, you need to jam it in the water …
Also, if you can: merge bullet 1 & 3. Try something new with your kids. Learning and exploring together is an amazing experience.
Edit: If you want advice on how to do that, share details of what you want to work on and I'll try to help.
Edit: You might not need to leave your job even once your thing is making as much money as you need.
Some combination of suggestion & things that've worked for me:
1) getting a therapist. They will be able to help you work through the feelings a lot better than anyone on HN.
2) don't try to be happy. You can't directly control how you feel like it were a light switch. Aim for contentment and create an environment where you're more likely to be happy. the harder you try to be happy the less likely it is to happen.
3) reduce your focus on work. work is a means to create an environment for you to be happy in. find things outside of work to pour your love and ambition into. Find other sources of validation than work
4) meditate -- and start with guided meditation of some form. do it regularly. it will help you cultivate yourself
It's an ancient problem. (I'm not suggesting that you embrace religion. Just an example.)
In my experience, no matter how much I want a job, after about five years I'm ready to quit.
The trick is to work more. Buy a boat or a horse.
I have found that different types of activities bring me joy/energy/fulfillment, and others do not. Identifying which activities do this for me took a few years of thought, coupled with asking people who know me well about what they observe. I realized about 10 years ago that I'm most fulfilled when I'm teaching - literally leading a formal learning session with students. I find opportunities to do some of this in my work (I'm a co-founder with tons of autonomy in my role), but ultimately I've decided that my job is the means to open up more doors to teach. I'm getting an MBA to open the door to be an adjunct professor in business.
I share this because once you know what activities bring you joy/energy/fulfillment, you can rearrange your life to maximize how much time you spend doing those things.
Do you already do your "own thing" now after work and on weekends? If not, then it probably is a case of thinking the grass is greener.
Speaking only for myself, I would come home from work and pursue my passions everyday, night, and weekend until exhaustion. I quit my job two years ago to pursue my passions full time and - although I'm not making money yet - I am consistently happy and fulfilled with my work.
IMO the insight, self-awareness, or revelation you may be seeking would most likely come from a conversation where you have space to think, reflect, be asked a lot of "Why" questions, and so on.