Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

91–100 of 139 posts

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#91

Post by hotpotamus »

sforza wrote: post #88
uberman wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How long do you imagine $300k (the average cost to raise a kid) will last you in a luxury nursing home?

We all know that $300k is nowhere near how much it takes to raise a child.

What's funny is that I can't tell whether you think $300K is high or low, and to me the number sounds about right.

That said, I'll throw in my two cents here because it's as good a place as any. Though I have internal conflict on the whole issue of having children, I have to say that treating them as a means of investment for old age care has two issues - one, it seems kind of like a dick move to them, and two, it's far from guaranteed; they could have their own ideas.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#92

Post by dspillett »

programmarchy wrote: post #89
dspillett wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> makes it abundantly clear that your decision has already been made That doesn't make it wrong to ask why others make a different decision. Should seeking empathy not be applauded? Yes, the question does imply, almost aggressively so, a certain bias, but perhaps it would be better if you were not to discourage the desire to understand by unnecessarily responding in kind. [FWIW: I also have no intention of procreatin…

Why should seeking empathy be applauded? The value of having children and the value of having empathy are grounded in the same traditional morality. In discarding that tradition whether in part or in whole, there’s no reason to value empathy — it’s just another subjective belief some people hold.

> Why should seeking empathy be applauded?

Because "I don't agree so you point of view is objectively wrong and I don't care to try understand it" is a far worse attitude?

> The value of having children and the value of having empathy are grounded in the same traditional morality

I can't say I agree with that at all. Apart from the superficial (they are both traditional/old ideals) what do you think is their common source?

To say we can't keep one old ideal because we question another seems unhelpfuly dogmatic, unless I'm missing some subtlety, and demonstrably wrong: large parts of society have moved away from some traditional ideals without having to abandon all others.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#93

Post by dementiapatien »

frontman1988 wrote: post #84
pmichaud wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The real answer about why people in general have children isn’t formatted like a “reason.” There’s a primal drive in most people, a kind of psychosomatic/biological imperative that drives them (to great lengths, when necessary) to have kids. That’s the real answer, and none of what you listed in the OP, including the maybe kind of true things, are a crux for that imperative.

The primal drive is only of sex. Most people throughout history wanted sex, not babies. But now with birth control people have the choice. It's the reason why the fertility rate is declining in most developed countries. I think if birth control existed in the time of Jesus, then also a large majority of people would have chosen to be childfree or have only 1-2 kids

>The primal drive is only of sex.

What about people who turn down sex when they know the other party can't have kids?

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#95

Post by anon2020dot00 »

Simple answer is that a lot of people enjoy having kids around. Most people would rather be living with a loving wife and kids especially in their fifties or above instead of living alone or with just a husband/wife; I say most since of course there are exceptions.

For a person in twenties or thirties, kids are often a far off idea since happy to just focus on work and gain independence and having money but source of satisfaction change I would think for most as they get older.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#96

Post by agent008t »

Balgair wrote: post #79
sforza wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But arguably if you remain childfree you'll be able to throw money at the problem - you can afford a luxury nursing home.

I've had a few extended family members who tried the 'money will take care of me' route. So, small sample size warning. It doesn't work out well. The people in the nursing homes/hospice still are only their to be paid. They don't care about you deep down. So, things like bedsores are allowed to fester, cancer diagnoses come a bit later than you'd like, loneliness sets it (especially during covid), your diapers aren't…

When blind and demented, the only help one would probably need is to cease to be.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#97

Post by agent008t »

hotpotamus wrote: post #91
sforza wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We all know that $300k is nowhere near how much it takes to raise a child.

What's funny is that I can't tell whether you think $300K is high or low, and to me the number sounds about right. That said, I'll throw in my two cents here because it's as good a place as any. Though I have internal conflict on the whole issue of having children, I have to say that treating them as a means of investment for old age care has two issues - one, it seems kind of like a dick move to them, and two, it's…

300K would barely cover the cost of an extra bedroom per child. Let alone the fact that some places around the world require one to send their child to private school, fund university costs etc.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#98

Post by agent008t »

eej71 wrote: post #24
sforza wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But you're not answering the question. How does "one can be happy in the midst of hardship, difficulty and pain" encourage one to have children? One can also be happy when there is no hardship, difficulty and pain...

I get the sense that you have ingested a lot of information that reinforces your world view of upcoming doom and negativity. The internet is good for that! What books, ideas, authors and thinkers would you tune into to challenge that? For example, would you even consider Steven Pinker's Enlightenment Now to challenge some of those premises?

I would note that the grandparent was not disputing the upcoming 'hardship, difficulty and pain' (i.e. 'doom and negativity') that come with procreation, so at least that bit does not seem to be out of place.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#99

Post by Balgair »

agent008t wrote: post #96
Balgair wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've had a few extended family members who tried the 'money will take care of me' route. So, small sample size warning. It doesn't work out well. The people in the nursing homes/hospice still are only their to be paid. They don't care about you deep down. So, things like bedsores are allowed to fester, cancer diagnoses come a bit later than you'd like, loneliness sets it (especially during covid), your diapers aren't…

When blind and demented, the only help one would probably need is to cease to be.

You'd think that when healthy and of able mind.

But as life slides towards that state, it's amazing how people still find very good reasons to stick around. It's strange to us, but even blind and demented, life is still worth living.

In my little bit on experience, the only thing that makes life not worth living seems to be pain. When we're in a lot of pain, then people tend to opt out of living. But until there is pain, there's still something in life that makes it all worthwhile.

Post reply on HN