Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#1

Post by sforza » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:23 PM UTC

given that, in 2022:

    both parents will need to work to fund raising a child, so the mother necessarily has to do 1.5 or 2 full-time jobs

    grandparents most likely don't live in the same city so you're reliant on strangers to raise your children

    increased risk of autism / ADD / lack of focus because of the internet

    the world is already over-populated, and however hard it is for you to compete with your peers, it'll be even harder for your children

    etc etc etc (to name but a few)

I'm looking for new perspectives on why one should choose to procreate nowadays. I'm less interested in parents trying to rationalize what deep down they know was a bad decision, the perpetual "oh but I'd do it all over again" thing when clearly their life is a lot of worse and they're full of regret.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#2

Post by jjgreen » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:28 PM UTC

Because the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, and no-one else is going to look after you when you get old? (i.e., the original reason for having kids).

It it worth noting, I don't have kids (don't like them, they have no conversation)

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#3

Post by LewisVerstappen » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:30 PM UTC

It depends entirely on your perspective of the world.

Your perspectives seem incredibly negative and you seem to be super pessimistic about your future & the world's future, so it makes sense for you.

Other people have optimistic perspectives about their own future (making more than enough money in the future, building a social circle and "competing with their peers" ~ not sure what this means & how you're competing with your peers) so it makes sense for them to have children.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#4

Post by sforza » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:30 PM UTC

jjgreen wrote: post #2

Because the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, and no-one else is going to look after you when you get old? (i.e., the original reason for having kids). It it worth noting, I don't have kids (don't like them, they have no conversation)

But arguably if you remain childfree you'll be able to throw money at the problem - you can afford a luxury nursing home.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#5

Post by sforza » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:33 PM UTC

LewisVerstappen wrote: post #3

It depends entirely on your perspective of the world. Your perspectives seem incredibly negative and you seem to be super pessimistic about your future & the world's future, so it makes sense for you. Other people have optimistic perspectives about their own future (making more than enough money in the future, building a social circle and "competing with their peers" ~ not sure what this means & how you're competing…

I mean, if you want the kind of job that can afford the house with the white picket fence and 2.5 children (and not putting yourself into dangerous levels of debt), the level of competition for such a job is fierce.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#6

Post by pfortuny » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:33 PM UTC

Well, because having a child, a descendant is so much more than “procreating”.

And, apart from that, your

“ I'm less interested in parents trying to rationalize what deep down they know was a bad decision, the perpetual "oh but I'd do it all over again" thing when clearly their life is a lot of worse and they're full of regret.”

is very judgmental.

One can be happy in the midst of hardship, difficulty and pain.

One does not have a child because “it is a benefit”. Unless one just sees life as a costly game.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#7

Post by speedgoose » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:34 PM UTC

It gives a meaning to your life, if work or saving the world is not doing it.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#8

Post by LewisVerstappen » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:37 PM UTC

sforza wrote: post #5

LewisVerstappen wrote: post #3

It depends entirely on your perspective of the world. Your perspectives seem incredibly negative and you seem to be super pessimistic about your future & the world's future, so it makes sense for you. Other people have optimistic perspectives about their own future (making more than enough money in the future, building a social circle and "competing with their peers" ~ not sure what this means & how you're competing…

I mean, if you want the kind of job that can afford the house with the white picket fence and 2.5 children (and not putting yourself into dangerous levels of debt), the level of competition for such a job is fierce.

That's not true in the slightest. In fact, it's far, far easier to make money now with the internet. You can build a tool and have millions of people use it instantly and there are far more ways to make $ than ever (creator economy).

Just look on twitter and you'll find loads of 20 year olds making 6 figures out of their college dorms with different kinds of internet products. I saw a thread yesterday from some 19 year old kid who makes $30k a month selling notion templates.

This all is totally possible to do if you're willing to spend 1-2 years learning how to do it. It's even easier to do if you're an engineer (you can rapidly iterate & develop new products)

You have an abundance of FAANG jobs that pay 6 figures and now many of these positions are being offered remotely. You just have to spend 3-4 months learning LeetCode stuff (yes, it's definitely a pain but it 100% beats wasting 2 years on an MBA or something).

Edit:

I'm not talking about everyone in the world. There are definitely billions of people in low-income countries in Africa/Asia who don't have these opportunities unfortunately.

This comment was meant more towards your average HN reader (technical background, living in a rich western nation, etc.) I thought that's who the OP was asking.

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#9

Post by sforza » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:40 PM UTC

pfortuny wrote: post #6

Well, because having a child, a descendant is so much more than “procreating”. And, apart from that, your “ I'm less interested in parents trying to rationalize what deep down they know was a bad decision, the perpetual "oh but I'd do it all over again" thing when clearly their life is a lot of worse and they're full of regret.” is very judgmental. One can be happy in the midst of hardship, difficulty and pain. One d…

But you're not answering the question. How does "one can be happy in the midst of hardship, difficulty and pain" encourage one to have children? One can also be happy when there is no hardship, difficulty and pain...

Re: Ask HN: What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

#10

Post by yesenadam » Tue, Jul 05, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

A lot of people have children because they want to, they feel a desire to. Not because they "should" or have done a cost/benefit analysis.

I find that hard to fit into either of what I find your very unpleasant framings of the question:

> What are the benefits to having children nowadays?

> why one should choose to procreate nowadays

p.s. I'm 51. I don't have children - I've never felt the desire to, but figure I will have kids one day if I want to. I've always thought it would be better for kids if their parents felt like they wanted kids!