Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
161–170 of 266 posts
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#162I heard good things about Viktor Frankl's books, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning . He went through Auschwitz and learned (and then tought) how to deal with hardship. People who are willing to work with you, who you can help, even in the context of your handicap, exist. Find them. Be honest about your handicaps.
I agree about being honest about handicaps. Especially if you know they can get in the way. People can easily forgive that when they know what to expect. I’ve been more upfront about it and having no issue finding work, but I feel far more at ease as a result. I’m even getting older; I’m 36 with a mild disability. I would have thought I’d be unemployable earlier in my life. Good people exist, and they get it. Definitely seek them out.
As for the search for meaning. I read that at a dark point in my own life and the main thing I got from it was perspective. What he describes is unimaginable. What I was experiencing was very imaginable. I found that very helpful.
Stoic philosophy has a sort of “zooming out” mechanism used to remind the practitioner how small they are in the scheme of things, how little their troubles matter, and Man’s Search For Meaning is an incredible tool for accomplishing this. Very few people can truthfully say their struggles are greater. It’s a window into how fortunate most of us, even with our hardships.
Chronic pain is legitimately hard to mentally distance yourself from though. Don’t hold it against yourself if reading the book doesn’t allow you to do so. I had chronic sciatica for around a year once and while I was young and stupid, I don’t think I’d handle it well today either. It was disabling in a truly unflagging and monolithic sense. I have no idea why it went away, but I can genuinely feel a sense of relief each time I think of it. It was torture.
Above all I would say don’t blame yourself or imagine you should do better or differently or whatever. Each step is part of it, whether it’s a good or bad step. You do the best you can with what you’ve got, mentally and physically, and no one said any of it would be easy. To be depressed about it is understandable. To be tired of it is as well. Struggling makes sense. Don’t hold that against yourself, if you do at all, and hopefully that can provide some relief.
Best of luck OP, and hopefully the traction this post got helps you see that people care, they understand, they relate. You aren’t alone.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#163I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. I'm going to mostly share info about public benefits in case it's helpful, just because that's what I know (and I don't have as much knowledge about some of your other questions.) What state are you in? I know you mentioned SSDI, but just to relieve some of the stress of getting by, you should try to apply for as many public benefits as you might be eligible for (SNAP/food a…
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#164Not to pry into OP's personal details, but I'd try some "moonshot" lifestyle changes if you haven't done so already, to see if anything helps fix your health issues. Keto diet is one everyone raves about, but it absolutely does have risks. (ex: one HN'er wrote about a relative going on keto and later having a triple bypass and chronic back inflammation, possibly due to way too many omega-6 fats)
Keto with good fats and eliminating keto snacks (and the snacking behavior altogether), can work absolute miracles. There's no question eliminating sugar and even most carbs will greatly diminish inflammation and improve energetic output via ketones and bypass the overworked carb pathways.
Anyway, such a moonshot diet exists, and it's zerocarb keto, some call ketovore, meaning mostly meat very high fat diet. Reddit has a r/zerocarb sub for the generic (not deliberately high fat) version.
I'm going to contact OP by email because I have a lot of experience with this, along with other advice for supplementation, etc.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#165Say you are going to the gym 4 times a week, then one day, while running, you feel a sudden pain in your knee. Knee swells but nothing too bad, except that every single time you move your knee, some sharp, nagging pain comes back and gets you to stop whatever you're doing. You then touch your knee, move it left and right, and scratch at the pain. Makes it a bit worse. You should rest, says your aunt and her bridge fr…
You're welcome.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#166Earlier quoted context omitted.
But if you move country, you will no longer need that expensive USA house and car, so you can sell them and get a far cheaper house and car in the country you move to.
If he had a lot of equity, he would not be behind on payments, he probably would have refinanced, and you are neglecting the upfront costs of an international move. You might eventually save money, but that's not super helpful to this person's situation.
Once you sort out a visa, you can literally buy a plane ticket, pack a backpack, and get on a plane.
Bali has recently introduced a nomad visa:
https://www.euronews.com/travel/amp/2022/06/24/balis-new-dig...
If OP were able to find part time work online, moving to a tropical climate in a new environment could potentially help their condition.
The biggest challenge would be medication, but even with that they could probably figure it out.
Living in a different environment can definitely help with your health. IMO, if they've been stuck where they are for years, it's not a silly idea at all to make a complete change of environment and see how they do.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#167Consider moving to a cheaper country. By selling everything you own in the USA, you might end up with many many years of living expenses in say Thailand. In todays world of remote work, even getting a tiny number of consulting jobs, at US rates because you have (presumably) a US education/work history, will then pay the bills. Many countries have small populations of American/British people you could join. Check visa…
Disabled and unemployed, not speaking the language, he will be trapped in a bad situation there with no one to help. It will be increasingly hard for him to come back to USA.
Also, CoL in major metro cities in a lot of these countries can be as high as that in USA. See cost of living in Europe or world major cities. I don’t think you can easily transfer money either.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#168I'm not sure what the cause of your chronic pain is, but I would highly recommend reading John Sarno's "The Mindbody Prescription." I've dealt with chronic pain for years and it's the only thing that's had any effect. Please, please , don't write it off until you've read the book. Note that Sarno's work focuses on back pain, but it applies to all types of chronic pain (including migraines, which he discusses in the b…
Summary linked in the comments: https://web.archive.org/web/20101210060431/http://podolsky.e... > Here is my summary of what I think is most important in Dr. Sarno's theory: > 1. The mind and the body are linked. Classic example: the placebo effect -- your mind thinks it's gotten a pill that's gonna fix your body, and what do you know, believing that leads to your body fixing itself. > 2. Not only can the mind-body c…
The ability for psychological expectations to cause physical pain and even physical symptoms (like those of an allergic reaction) is relatively well established science.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#169I had bad RSI and lost the ability to work like I used so I adapted, can't force anything. I was homeless and worked at McDonalds and Taco Bell before getting a car and delivering pizza. Now I'm back at a startup and can work again. If I push myself too hard my hands will hurt so I don't. Only advice is fight with everything you have but don't push yourself harder than will allow you to rebuild and recover your healt…
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#170I wonder what the person who watches him play video games all day thinks about his inability to work due to "chronic pain".