Now you go on welfare and find a $400/month apartment in rural Nebraska
If you don't have anything good to contribute at least don't be a dick to others. Life can turn on a dime and any of us could be in a similar situation.
Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
81–90 of 266 posts
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#82Sorry to hear of your situation and wish you the best.
> I live as cheaply as I possibly can at this point. I live with family and only pay for absolute necessities.
My advice: sell the car or make the car generate income (delivery or app driving). Without income and near the bottom of your bank account is not the time to be driving a car new/expensive enough to have a loan on.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#83It sounds like the root cause of all your problems is this chronic pain, and you need to focus all your efforts on solving it first. One option is to sign up for clinical trials at various chronic pain research centers around the country. Stanford is one of them, there are plenty others, hopefully near where you live.
https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-clinics/pain-manageme...
https://med.stanford.edu/pain.html
https://med.stanford.edu/pain/about/chronic-pain.html
Some years ago I developed chronic lower back pain from poor sitting posture. It was partially debilitating - not to the level yours is, but it significantly negatively impacted my ability to stay active and thus healthy and thus able to maintain peak performance at work. But I joined a Stanford clinical trial on lower back pain, and it cured me permanently, and they even paid me a small stipend for it! So I think it’s worth a try if you can swing it.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#84I've been in the same situation for a very long time so I understand and feel for you. I've often considered creating something for people in our situation (a team that work together to cover the times when a member is unable to work), but I'm not a founder and don't know where to start. I realize it's not a short term solution but if you are interested or just want to talk, you can email me at my username at Gmail.
BTW, an attorney for the SSDI appeal isn't a bad idea. There are downsides but they do navigate it all the time and the deck is not stacked in you favor. Also find a pain specialist with legal experience; it's important they know what to say since there are no scans or x-rays or blood tests that can say why you are laying in bed in tears waiting to be able to take the next pain med.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#85For your chronic pain, I recommend reading "The Mind Body Prescription" by Dr John Sarno. Saved my sanity and my career 7 years ago.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#86> I can't even afford to toss a few bucks into side projects so I at least have something to do with my time...
Lots of people work on side projects with no money nowadays - the situation is different than it was 10 years ago. Even putting a beta out there is doable for free with AWS credits or the free tier.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#87My friend, I am very sorry. Focus on what you can do right now . The first thing you can do is work hard to find joy in every day of life. Yes, it exists, and yes, you have to look for it. This will help you turn around your depression. My wife found joy every day even though she was terminally ill, and I'd be remiss not to point you to the same place where she learned to find it: https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teaching…
Hey, FYI, I initially flagged your post because I thought it was spam... thought JW had moved into the online version of door-to-door Watchtowering with drive-by evangelism. But I was wrong, and I'm sorry. You're just a regular part of this community and your wife happens to have religious beliefs that helped her through tough times. I apologize for jumping to conclusions, and I'm posting this response mostly so othe…
JW is more likely to cause you to commit suicide than find happiness. I'm not sure we should be giving the benefit of the doubt to cults where the danger is well established.
https://www.dehek.com/general/health-wellness/escaping-suici...
https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2018/03/18/j...
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#88I wish the OP the very best. I can't offer any more suggestions, as I suspect there is a great deal more to the story. I am quite aware that finding ourselves in this kind of hole is devastating and humiliating. Getting out, often requires a lot of work.
I have known (and still do know) folks in the same boat. My own "origin story" is one that has some ... exciting bits ...
Some folks have managed to do well in life, despite the challenges; some, not so well. Not everyone can climb out on their own, and the type of help we need, varies greatly, on the kinds of things we don't want to talk about or face.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#89I’m sorry you live in one of the worst countries in the world to be disabled in. While this can be challenging everywhere, the US is especially bad at providing adequate support, both financially and otherwise.
What might help you is looking for a job with part time responsibilities and part time wages and investing full-time into that job if you need to to keep up. If this is viable for a tech role you’re likely to easily afford your fairly modest lifestyle living with family. I know this sounds a bit depressing as you’re essentially taking on a full-time schedule for part-time pay but it’s better than not having a job at all. Other options include looking at work where pain isn’t likely to substantially impair your performance so that you’d be able to get things done. This may involve drastic pay cuts as well, but again while you’re living with family and have a modest lifestyle even a drastic pay cut from peak of the tech market can lead to affording what you need.
As far as therapists go, I’d be considering reevaluating the ones I’ve talked to if you talked with them about your dwindling financial resources and none of them attempted to find an adequate solution or tried to help you get back on track. If you haven’t mentioned it at all you may want to consider doing so if they might have useful advice.
If all else fails, cut costs aggressively. The lack of freedom from not having your own car sucks but it’s better than being bankrupt or cutting needed therapy (if a family member can drive you there). If cutting a car is absolutely impossible for your life then it seems essential to figure out what work you can manage to handle and seek employment in that quickly.
Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?
#90Consider moving to a cheaper country. By selling everything you own in the USA, you might end up with many many years of living expenses in say Thailand. In todays world of remote work, even getting a tiny number of consulting jobs, at US rates because you have (presumably) a US education/work history, will then pay the bills. Many countries have small populations of American/British people you could join. Check visa…
I'm sorry but if he's selling personal possessions to fund a car payment he's already behind on, he doesn't have the money to move to another country, even a cheap one.
But if you move country, you will no longer need that expensive USA house and car, so you can sell them and get a far cheaper house and car in the country you move to.