Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#1

Post by thrwtllwy » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 4:49 PM UTC

TL;DR: I'm a founder who had some success, but now I'm disabled, can't seem to hold down a job. I'm close to defaulting on my car. I am (unsurprisingly) depressed. I need help but don't know where to go.

I spent the 2010s as a founder. My company was funded by YC and several others. We were moderately successful but didn't see a meaningful exit. After my startup failed, I started consulting to pay the bills.

In 2018 I started having problems with chronic pain and gradually became less and less capable on the job. Consulting gigs were letting me go because I couldn't keep up. The last time I worked was over a year ago, and I finally exhausted my savings in early June 2022.

I live as cheaply as I possibly can at this point. I live with family and only pay for absolute necessities. It comes out between $1200 and $1500 per month.

I'm in the US and I have an application in for SSDI, but, from what I've heard, it's very hard to get benefits, especially if you have an invisible illness like chronic pain. It's likely that my application will be initially denied and I will have to focus on an appeal. It could take a year or more of fighting to be approved.

I am selling some of my old stuff on eBay but it's exhausting and frustrating given my limitations. It's not sustainable.

I have a car payment due soon and I'm already behind by one.

Worst of all, my life is pretty drab at this point. I am obviously depressed. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist but, fundamentally, the source of my depression is the state of my life. I have nothing to look forward to. I can't even afford to toss a few bucks into side projects so I at least have something to do with my time... I mostly watch TV, play video games and lurk on the internet. It's absolutely soul sucking.

I think, given the right environment, I could finish a weekly workload of a bit less than half-time and slowly re-learn how to work again even with my limitations, but no one wants to hire a middle-aged disabled person for part-time work. Further, all of my experience is in startups and that makes me less palatable to larger companies, but larger companies have more options to accommodate disabled people.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone in the HN community been here?

EDIT: A few people have asked what I’d like to do if I were to work again. The answer is that I don’t know!

Before I started having problems, I was a backend-centric web developer but I’m pretty burned out on that these days.

I’ve always wanted to get into embedded, but I have no idea if I can make a lateral move like that in my current state.

Whatever I do, it needs to be with someone who will give me the space to try and fail and try again. That’s really the main thing.

Feel free to EMAIL ME:

tyvm for the shrimp at gmail dot com

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#2

Post by guzik » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 4:56 PM UTC

This chronic pain - what is the cause of it? Are you diagnosed with fibromyalgia?

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#3

Post by simonebrunozzi » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:00 PM UTC

Hey. Sorry to hear about your issues. I would love to help, but I don't know how to.

I am based in Europe, but used to live in the US. Is there a specific type of job, even if part-time, that you think you could do well?

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#4

Post by mehulashah » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:02 PM UTC

Hang in there. You have the courage and intelligence to write such a thoughtful and articulate message. There’s fight left in you yet. Reach out to me directly, and I’m happy to just talk. You can find me online as I’m a member of the Sort Benchmark committee. We as a community are here for you.

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#5

Post by Madmallard » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:02 PM UTC

Same, disabled. Luckily I paid into insurance and got disability coverage but even still it isn't enough to make ends meet in Los Angeles. I haven't found a solution. It sounds like you're doing better in some regards. I would say do what you can to improve your situation like the claim and what not as early as possible and say fuck you to the negative self talk that might be holding you back from getting help. Talk to some disability advocates or lawyers to help out as well.

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#6

Post by LunarCamper » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:03 PM UTC

I was in a similar situation, minus the physical disability (I was mentally in a really bad place though). The only advise I have is to not think of any job as below you. I don't know your exact situation or your disabilities, but if you can deliver pizzas to at least keep your head above the water, do that. Having gone through YC you're obviously also a bright and intelligent person, how many different companies have you tried consulting for? Some companies could be more understanding than others of your situation, in which cases making 1500 a month shouldn't be a huge problem in this industry. Sorry you're going through this friend..

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#7

Post by bradhilton » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:03 PM UTC

That sounds like a really difficult situation. What sort of jobs would you be interested in? What do you think are your relative strengths & skills?

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#8

Post by iply » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:04 PM UTC

I can't say I have been in a similar situation or that I am qualified to be giving specific advice. I'm glad you're seeking help from a trained professional. I will say this though:

Even though it may be hard to do so right now, try to focus on the things that are in your control at the moment. What was your skillset before your disability. Which of these skills do you still hold now?

Are there any disability inclusion legislations in your country you could take advantage of when looking for a job?

I'd even do some research. What is your long term goal? You said you were a founder in the past. Do you still want to do something similar to this? Try to see if there are founders that had similar situations to yours. You can even look into their lives and the road that they took before they got to where they currently are.

As for the short term things like being late on payments and bills, try to ask a friend or family member for help with your finances. They might be able to look at things more objectively and help you make cuts in certain areas until you get back up to where you may want to be.

This is all of course going to take a lot of work, and it's definitely going to have its challenges. This fight is not going to be easy but I assure you that it will be worthwhile. I wish you the very best.

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#9

Post by killingtime74 » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:04 PM UTC

What are you interested in work wise, do you already have the required skills or can upskill? Perhaps gigs related to your skills? If you need to build up portfolio you could volunteer? I think everything is easier when you have a team, would you be able to join any groups online or otherwise with similar interests or disabilities? Best of luck and let us know how it goes, you’re not alone!

Did you enjoy YC? Could you do it again?

Re: Ask HN: I'm disabled and out of money. Now what?

#10

Post by thrwtllwy » Mon, Jul 04, 2022, 5:05 PM UTC

guzik wrote: post #2

This chronic pain - what is the cause of it? Are you diagnosed with fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia and CFS have been tossed around but never officially diagnosed.

The practical experience that I have is frequent exhaustion from things that should be easy, difficulty focusing, flu-like aches and tons of migraines.