Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#121

Post by abraxas » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 9:57 PM UTC

actfrench wrote: post #109

mtklein wrote: post #94

Hey! I'm a guy, single, 37, also living in Austin, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my own love life. I read a lot of my own feelings in what you write. If you'd like to meet someone with no weirdo agenda (or at least like, not worryingly weird), get in touch? No pressure to respond, and I don't want to be an internet creep. I just thought you might like to know you're not the only one like us out there. You po…

super let's meet! manisha[at]manisharose[dot]com :) Thank you for reaching out.

Not sure it’s a good idea to post your personal coordinates on a public forum on a dating thread even in this “obfuscated” format. You’ll probably get some unwelcome attention or at least get spambot subscribed to “newsletters” and “offers” by random web scrapers.

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#122

Post by drevil-v2 » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 9:59 PM UTC

Hey I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

Can you tell us a bit more about why the dates you have been on didn't progress further? This video might be worth a watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xaQP_8ydBc

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#123

Post by drno123 » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 9:59 PM UTC

actfrench wrote: post #109

mtklein wrote: post #94

Hey! I'm a guy, single, 37, also living in Austin, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my own love life. I read a lot of my own feelings in what you write. If you'd like to meet someone with no weirdo agenda (or at least like, not worryingly weird), get in touch? No pressure to respond, and I don't want to be an internet creep. I just thought you might like to know you're not the only one like us out there. You po…

super let's meet! manisha[at]manisharose[dot]com :) Thank you for reaching out.

Good luck you two :)

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#124

Post by 988747 » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:00 PM UTC

Is it just me, or does this post look like a scam to find a rich guy and con him for all his money? :)

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#125

Post by rdl » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:08 PM UTC

If this post itself leads to a long term relationship, marriage, please post again!

(good luck!)

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#126

Post by xiphias2 » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:11 PM UTC

You have some incongruency in what you write: you wrote that you are beautiful, but men ghost you after 1 night.

As a man I can tell you that all my friends want to be intimate with a beautiful woman at least multiple times even if she has an unbearable personality.

I'm 40 and most of my successful friends who want kids date women under or around 30, because that's what our urges say when we want more than just sex / relationship.

The reality is that at this age if you really want a partner with a baby you probably have to marry a guy you are not attracted to (my suggestion for a 25 year old woman who wants to marry would be very different).

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#127

Post by withinboredom » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:13 PM UTC

In my experience, stop looking and it'll find you. I met my wife on the beach, basically randomly. Neither of us wanted a relationship at the time, we just enjoyed talking to each other so much. Our "first date" was to a hiking meetup, where we ditched everyone and broke into a park after-hours, explored shit, and at some point, kissed, while hiding from the park rangers.

But seriously, just stop looking.

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#128

Post by yrgulation » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:13 PM UTC

abraxas wrote: post #121

actfrench wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

super let's meet! manisha[at]manisharose[dot]com :) Thank you for reaching out.

Not sure it’s a good idea to post your personal coordinates on a public forum on a dating thread even in this “obfuscated” format. You’ll probably get some unwelcome attention or at least get spambot subscribed to “newsletters” and “offers” by random web scrapers.

At the very least op should ask whoever sends her an email to confirm that they are user “mtklein” by updating his hn profile about section with a random, unique, string she generates or something. Just to be sure they are the right person. Also rip her inbox.

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#129

Post by viraptor » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:17 PM UTC

withinboredom wrote: post #127

In my experience, stop looking and it'll find you. I met my wife on the beach, basically randomly. Neither of us wanted a relationship at the time, we just enjoyed talking to each other so much. Our "first date" was to a hiking meetup, where we ditched everyone and broke into a park after-hours, explored shit, and at some point, kissed, while hiding from the park rangers. But seriously, just stop looking.

This is not a good advice. You got lucky despite not looking - recognise that. A slightly better version is "make sure you're open to opportunities outside of explicit dating context".

Re: Ask HN: I’m 41 and still unmarried – what should I do?

#130

Post by a_developer314 » Sat, Jul 02, 2022, 10:17 PM UTC

yrgulation wrote: post #128

abraxas wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure it’s a good idea to post your personal coordinates on a public forum on a dating thread even in this “obfuscated” format. You’ll probably get some unwelcome attention or at least get spambot subscribed to “newsletters” and “offers” by random web scrapers.

At the very least op should ask whoever sends her an email to confirm that they are user “mtklein” by updating his hn profile about section with a random, unique, string she generates or something. Just to be sure they are the right person. Also rip her inbox.

gosh! programmers dating!