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Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

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Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#121

Post by ComradePhil »

ElijahLynn wrote: post #108

Social needs. Children need to learn how to be in relationship with others, it is the most fundamental need we have and is so important for the future of our planet. If I were to homeschool, it isn't about the learning, that is easy, it is about providing an environment where children can learn to co-exist with others. That can still be done with homeschool, but it will need to be intentional with daily activities th…

They need to learn how to be in relation to people who know and care about them, not other random kids (some of whom will be abused at home and hence abusive at school) and the teachers, some of whom will be extremely incompetent, emotionally abusive, pedophiles or all of that.

There's absolutely no way sending a kid to school is better for their social life in any way.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#123

Post by mikkergp »

f154hfds wrote: post #80
kennywinker wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And there are few things more enriching for your child then getting involved in their education That’s a pleasing statement that seems true, but ignores the millions of ways that parents can be a bad influence. Over pressuring, taking away agency, just being bad study partners, biasing data as it arrives, etc etc etc. Everyone wants to believe they will be a good parent. But everyone will fuck it up in some way. On…

This is a signal vs. noise issue. Quite simply if you think your values are better than the average (and believe me - you do think this) then it makes sense to inculcate your values into your children as much as possible. A decision to not home educate your children is usually because of other considerations, usually financial, sometimes cultural, etc. I don't want to minimize your point about mental health though. I…

If you think your values are the only ones your kids should absorb, I think that is a big red flag. edit: Upon further reflection, I disagree with the premise. I'm a product of the decade and environment I grew up in. Alot of my values probably aren't relevant to growing up today, and the types of experiences kids will be exposed to. Some things I just haven't had exposure to. Kids should be a combination of their parents values and have the opportunity to experience life such that they can develop their own values. My values are very different from that of my parents, and I suspect will be different from that of my children.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#124

Post by ComradePhil »

_dain_ wrote: post #115
kennywinker wrote: post #12

In my experience, both direct and indirect, homeschooling has the effect of concentrating a parent’s influence on their children’s lives / brain development / psychology, etc. Take that, and think about it, before you start. If you have unexamined issues like anger problems, fixations, avoidances, fears - those will have an impact on your child, and a bigger impact if you homeschool your child - purely on the basis o…

Now do this for the influence of the state's pathologies on public schoolkids.

No post body was provided.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#125

Post by biomcgary »

kitsunesoba wrote: post #113
ElijahLynn wrote: post #108

Social needs. Children need to learn how to be in relationship with others, it is the most fundamental need we have and is so important for the future of our planet. If I were to homeschool, it isn't about the learning, that is easy, it is about providing an environment where children can learn to co-exist with others. That can still be done with homeschool, but it will need to be intentional with daily activities th…

As someone who was homeschooled for the majority of my childhood, I fully agree. I was able to somewhat overcome the resulting lack of social development in late high school (which wasn’t at home) and uni, but it wouldn’t be until some time between my mid 20s and early 30s that I felt like a mostly socially functional adult, and I still feel inadequacies in that department even now. Additionally, I don’t know that I’…

My wife and I were both homeschooled (I also attended private and public schools at various times). With homeschooling, we had a lot of positive social interactions (4-H, history club, co-operative classes with other families, neighborhood kids) and essentially no negative ones. My experience in public schools was quite negative (as well as being educationally weak). Our third son is autistic (probably my genetics) and does very well being homeschooled. Since he is nearly non-verbal, the likelihood that he would encounter abuse in a traditional setting that he could not report is quite high. Of course, having siblings contributes to socialization.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#127

Post by rolfea »

kennywinker wrote: post #12

In my experience, both direct and indirect, homeschooling has the effect of concentrating a parent’s influence on their children’s lives / brain development / psychology, etc. Take that, and think about it, before you start. If you have unexamined issues like anger problems, fixations, avoidances, fears - those will have an impact on your child, and a bigger impact if you homeschool your child - purely on the basis o…

I'd expand that even more broadly to say, if you are going to raise children at all, I would strongly encourage you to start therapy asap.

Some of the best parenting advice I ever got was, before you try to raise a kid, you need to get your own shit together.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#128

Post by andsoitis »

Educating someone requires expertise.

Being exposed to different education styles is far better than just having one teacher (the parent).

There's no way for a parent to have sufficient breadth and depth across a range of topics, never mind generic pedagogical expertise.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#129

Post by kitsunesoba »

biomcgary wrote: post #125
kitsunesoba wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who was homeschooled for the majority of my childhood, I fully agree. I was able to somewhat overcome the resulting lack of social development in late high school (which wasn’t at home) and uni, but it wouldn’t be until some time between my mid 20s and early 30s that I felt like a mostly socially functional adult, and I still feel inadequacies in that department even now. Additionally, I don’t know that I’…

My wife and I were both homeschooled (I also attended private and public schools at various times). With homeschooling, we had a lot of positive social interactions (4-H, history club, co-operative classes with other families, neighborhood kids) and essentially no negative ones. My experience in public schools was quite negative (as well as being educationally weak). Our third son is autistic (probably my genetics) a…

Yeah, I won’t deny that it can work well and produce well-rounded, socially capable adults, but it’s dependent on the parent(s) getting a lot right in doing it, which is anything but a given. Homeschooling isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly, and I think that parent(s) considering it should be honest with themselves in evaluating their ability to pull it off well.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#130

Post by concinds »

kennywinker wrote: post #12

In my experience, both direct and indirect, homeschooling has the effect of concentrating a parent’s influence on their children’s lives / brain development / psychology, etc. Take that, and think about it, before you start. If you have unexamined issues like anger problems, fixations, avoidances, fears - those will have an impact on your child, and a bigger impact if you homeschool your child - purely on the basis o…

While more self-awareness and self-knowledge is always better, I think the main test for this should be "Ainsworth's Strange Situation". It's a test of your child's attachment style is; which is a good reflection of the child's (and your) emotional health.

For homeschoolers, it's probably a good idea to check if your child displays secure attachment first (since insecure attachment in the child is generally caused by the parents, and schooling your child at home might just make it worse).

And on a final note: why the hell don't we systematically test all children for attachment styles? They: a) can be detected very early, b) are much easier to correct when caught early, and c) have vast impacts for the child's whole life. You don't need any equipment except a trained psychologist!

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