Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

It's so interesting hearing from someone with a similar experience, thanks for sharing.

The CAT exams were the same for me, always scored really high and above my grade level. I aced the 12th grade one by age 14. My parents took that as evidence that I was doing well, and I didn't trust them enough to confide just how desperately lonely I was. The CAT (and SAT) ended up being incredibly poor indicators of preparation for college level courses, many of which I failed my first semester despite also being a self-starter who reads voraciously. It was just too much of a jump for me from the unstructured way I'd been teaching myself previously, and I was missing too much background knowledge.

Even with my high SAT scores it was really hard to get into college. I ended up at a tiny private religious school (I'm not religious) because they were the only one that accepted me, and one of the few I was even able to complete the application for because many admissions offices didn't make allowances for homeschooling in their application process (this was around 2001). After a few years there I managed to bring my GPA up high enough to transfer to a state school.

In retrospect, I believe things could have been really different if I'd had access to a councilor with academic experience to explain how the system worked and tell me what paperwork I would need for college applications or what subjects would be necessary for the program I wanted to do. Even in 2001 with internet access I just wasn't able to navigate that on my own and ended up making a lot of costly (time, money, embarrassment) mistakes. And I was a pretty smart kid, I taught myself to code for one. It turns out being smart didn't make up for that much of a knowledge gap.

I do, actually.

You're assuming that parents who are homeschooling intend to provide their children with a good education. However, what about people who claim to "homeschool" their children but don't actually follow through, leading to uneducated adults who can't support themselves. I think that assuming good intentions for everyone is a problematic assumption, and you need to manage policies for bad actors as well.

> Swim lessons? Get out of here.

Spanish class? Get out of here.

Seriously dude, what’s the difference? What do you think “socialization” means? It is about being exposed to others, interacting with them, and learning social norms. Sitting quietly at desks listening to a teacher is objectively less effective than something like swimming lessons, or really anything I mentioned in my list, and that description describes the bulk of time at school.

Everything else you described makes me wonder why you think those things are essential to the human experience. Are you regularly bullied as an adult, because if so I suggest you make some life changes. Bad teachers are different from bad managers - you can’t easily quit and go elsewhere, or complain to HR.

Also, spurned crushes exist well beyond education for many people! Not sure why you suggest education is a key component of this.

> Where’s the advantage?

I am not saying there is an advantage in these elements. I am saying socialization is not a disadvantage to homeschoolers and this is really a myth.

We probably agree more than we disagree, but I'll just add my own daughters as data points. When they stayed home during covid, the oldest (not a good student) did better academically with the lack of peer / social pressures. My youngest (an exceptional student) did better academically too, which has since allowed her to jump way ahead in her studies and finally be recognized by teachers as an academic prodigy, whereas before they saw her as a social misfit.

So - I agree that it is good for kids to learn how to coexist with others, I also think there are lots of ways to accomplish that and that we might all give school credit for social outcomes that aren't a reality.