Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#71

Post by swatcoder » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:47 PM UTC

judah wrote: post #66

I was homeschooled and I credit much of my success in life to it. It taught me to think logically, taught me to honor my parents, taught me the value of tradition, morality, spirituality. It taught me the value of hard work, of loyalty, of kindness. It kept me out of vices that many of my public-schooled friends and peers got pulled into. In my experience, homeschooling can create well-rounded, upright people at a ra…

> In my experience, homeschooling can create well-rounded, upright people at a ratio above traditional schooling.

Sorry, you talk about your own positive experience with homeschooling (which is great!), but that’s clearly not an experience that would give insight into predicting aggregate outcomes more generally.

What experience are you referring to here? Did you end pursuing a career studying it or something?

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#72

Post by actfrench » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:47 PM UTC

mcone wrote: post #17

Our kids are 11 and 6 and we've always homeschooled them. As a secular homeschooling family, our headaches aren't related to curriculums or anything academic-related (there are lots of good options and resources out there) but rather the lack of socialization options outside of the home. If your experience is like ours, you'll quickly discover is that most homeschooling families are very religious or pulled their chi…

That’s tough . Do you live in a rural area ? I find this is a lot easier in a place like San Francisco and NYC where there are more secular homeschoolers and more techies and teachers educating their kids at home for a better education /more mastery learning . Hopefully this will change for you as the population grows.

Have you considered reaching out to SEA homeschoolers for connecting w families near you ?

https://m.facebook.com/seahomeschoolers

I know a bunch of secular homeschoolers around the world and am happy to help you forge connections if you like :)

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#73

Post by actfrench » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:48 PM UTC

noufalibrahim wrote: post #34

I used to do it for my kids and wrote some articles on why and how on my blog here http://nibrahim.net.in/2011/09/06/homeschooling_in_india_par... I moved towns and my main issues were 1. Lack of a like minded community who were willing to invest time and energy like I was. It's a demanding journey and not one that's easy (or even possible) to do alone. 2. Lack of insight into what the future holds esp. from the POV…

Cool! Thanks so much for sharing ! Looking forward to poring through these entries!

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#74

Post by actfrench » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:49 PM UTC

turtlebits wrote: post #25

Honestly, I'm not well balanced enough to home school. I'm afraid taking on primary schooling would cause expectations for my kid to be too high. Also, I feel that socialization with other kids (learning to make/maintain friends), interaction with (other) adults and having a structured routine is more important. Probably most importantly, I'm fairly confident in the competence in my local public elementary (great tea…

Very helpful . The Je so much for sharing your experience ! I’m curious to know what area you live in where the co-ops are poorly organized ? Many thanks !

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#75

Post by verisimilidude » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:50 PM UTC

Turing_Machine wrote: post #67

verisimilidude wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's much broader than none.

Because home schooled children never see anyone else at all? I think you'll find that is not actually the case. Also, I would argue that the distorted "society" produced by public schools is more harmful than beneficial.

Tell us where homeschooled kids get their socialization.

Church? That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black when it comes to social distortion.

Homeschooled peer groups? There's no way that's a broader population than the school in 99.9% of homeschooling scenarios.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#76

Post by kennywinker » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:51 PM UTC

actfrench wrote: post #59

pawelmurias wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know a lot of people that are super heavily influenced by traumas inflicted by their parents. Homeschooling someone is a lot different then your average lifestyle (that possibly wasn't that different between the adopted families)

Are they less so traumatized by their parents when they go to school ?

That’s a pretty deeply unquantifiable thing. How do you measure trauma at the scale we’re talking about? Self reporting will only reflect the trauma people are aware of, and mental health diagnosis are basically just self reporting one-step removed.

As far as I know we’re stuck in anecdote and personal opinion territory, until we have a better way of quantifying the kind of low-level trauma of a non-abusive-but-still-damaging childhood.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#77

Post by actfrench » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:52 PM UTC

ShadowBear wrote: post #33

Homeschooling was detrimental to my own social development as a child, and that of my (many) siblings. Adjusting to college life made me nearly suicidal with hopelessness that I'd ever catch up either academically or socially, and none of my other siblings managed to successfully complete it. We're all doing much better now, but none of us would ever consider putting our own children through that kind of isolation lo…

Thank you much for sharing this experience. I’m really sorry this was the case for you and your siblings. I myself was e trembly lonely as a child despite trying public and private schools. I ended up cooped up all the time doing homework and not much time to interact in school. It wasn’t really until I went to an acting school in Paris in my twenties that I made really close friends. It was it’s a different culture that felt more conducive to socializing and community - and in my experience more inclusive of a weirdo like myself :) since then I’ve found my friends working on collaborative projects (tech accelerators) or spiritual communities (zen center, yoga)

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#78

Post by vyrotek » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:53 PM UTC

Time.

I also think our 3 kids would struggle with the lack of separation between Teacher and Parent. Similar to how some adults struggle with working at home and separating work and home life appropriately. I know several folks who do it well and love the freedom and flexibility. But I feel it would take a lot of effort to really stay on top of it and not let things slide when it gets tough.

Not going to lie, the "babysitting" aspect of school is very nice too.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#79

Post by giaour » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:53 PM UTC

na85 wrote: post #36

hprotagonist wrote: post #14

What stops me is that the socialization and peer-group relationship skills that are obtained rapidly in a public school context are not replicatable at home. Neither are the skills learned in dealing with non-family adults, independence of task skills away from home, and much else besides in that vein. I would rather -- and do -- support the public school system in my (medium sized) city.

I was a camp counselor for many years in my teens and into my twenties. We could always-- always --tell which kids were the homeschooled kids.

There could be a selection effect at play. When I was growing up (the nineties), there was a social stigma around homeschooling due to its association with creationism. I went to Christian summer camps until I was a teenager, and the homeschooled kids stood out even in that environment as by far the more religious among us. Whether they were awkward because their religious practices shielded them from normal life or because they were raised by naturally awkward parents that self-selected into a highly regimented lifestyle is a mystery.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#80

Post by f154hfds » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 4:53 PM UTC

kennywinker wrote: post #61

actfrench wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that in general parents concentrating brainpower on their kids would be a good thing ! And there are few things more enriching for your child (and their school or homeschool community) then getting involved in their education. A lot of research supports that parent involvement in education makes a bigger impact in a child’s education and the health of their school then any other factor. https://www.modulo.app…

> And there are few things more enriching for your child then getting involved in their education That’s a pleasing statement that seems true, but ignores the millions of ways that parents can be a bad influence. Over pressuring, taking away agency, just being bad study partners, biasing data as it arrives, etc etc etc. Everyone wants to believe they will be a good parent. But everyone will fuck it up in some way. On…

This is a signal vs. noise issue. Quite simply if you think your values are better than the average (and believe me - you do think this) then it makes sense to inculcate your values into your children as much as possible. A decision to not home educate your children is usually because of other considerations, usually financial, sometimes cultural, etc.

I don't want to minimize your point about mental health though. If you're struggling you have to help yourself before you can pour into your children.