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Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

forbes.com

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Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#11

Post by j45 »

I like talking with doers. I like sharing with doers. I like learning from doers.

Helping people want to become doers is where I find some of this friction happens. How that comes across can be another point of hurt feelings.

There's a big difference between thinking less about yourself and thinking less of yourself.

There's a big difference between having a quiet confidence in what you do and just doing it, vs having to strut around like a rockstar CEO.

I'm not cocky, or a jerk. I'm not a doormat or a pushover either. I know my shit. I'm just focussed on goals. I constantly read, learn and try. I also know what I don't know and dont' hesitate for a second to say so. I don't believe in faking it until I make it.

I believe in keeping kindness and goodness fashionable and am not opposed to making people cry if they continually make other people cry and can't think beyond themselves.

Either way if you're truly busy doing things and improving, you're busy not celebrating yourself.

Entrepreneurs/Startups are like the new Rockband, everyone wants to be one including the self-promoting posers who often don't have a track record. Ideas are cheap for entrepreneurs, execution is the limited resource.

Those who have succeeded in small ways know to shut up because listening is always an opportunity to learn and get better, and sharing is an opportunity.

When you come across people who talk more than they do, it's not selfish to say I will give everything I can, but knowing what I get back might be limited to help take something off my plate, I have to go take care of my sh*t because no one else will.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#13

Post by nekojima »

SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

> What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

The understanding can have a time, cost and cashflow/earnings limit. At one of my start-ups, of the first dozen co-founders or staff (who received sweat equity at +2%), I was the only singleton. After 18 months it was clear some wives (all staff was male, except for our designer) were beginning to feel that their husbands weren't spending enough time with them, earning enough from the project in the short-term or that they couldn't take vacations as frequently or for long enough. At around two and a half years, there was a revolt by the wives, who had come to know each other, and we had to change some of our practices within the company to accommodate them, or we'd lose staff and potentially many months of development, when we were reasonably close to finishing our first major & deployable build.

We were quite open amongst ourselves in discussing the issue, but a considerable problem was that our product (corporate software) had a long & detailed development period and revenue generation was delayed longer than anticipated. Our alpha/guinea pig testing of our product hit has some snags as a result of the revolt and ultimately revenue generation has been further delayed as well.

I can understand their perspective and we have tried to accommodate them, but our view (co-founders and senior staff) is that this is our "retirement fund" and we want it to be successful in the medium and long term, not a short-term small cash generator.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#15

Post by rsingel »

SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

I think you meant to write 'spouse,' not wife. Unless you assume every entrepreneur is male.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#16

Post by bradt »

SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

I think it depends on the nature of the business, but above all the person's values. For example, I've been an independent web developer for a few years. I can choose how many projects I take on and how busy I am. I have more work coming in than I can handle, so I could hire an employee and build up the business but instead I turn it down. I could work 80 hours per week (lots of my independent colleagues do), but I choose to work 30-40 instead. I make a comfortable living and make plenty of time for my wife and family. It would seem that none of the "characteristics that apply to all entrepreneurs" apply to me. But I do have a business, so how is this possible?

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#17

Post by SeattleSeeley »

rsingel wrote: post #15
SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

I think you meant to write 'spouse,' not wife. Unless you assume every entrepreneur is male.

yes.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#18

Post by SeattleSeeley »

swombat wrote: post #9
SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

I really disagree, enough that I actually wrote a response on my blog: http://swombat.com/2011/11/3/jerk-entrepreneurs I don't think there's a conflict between being a founder and being a good person who treats their partner properly.

Would you agree that all successful entrepreneurs are confident? I guess I feel that cocky and confident are interchangeable.

Most I know personally and most you read about (zuck, sean parker, even steve jobs!) were considered ass holes in some peoples eyes, but in fact, they were/are obsessed with winning. They exude an above average amount of confidence that I think rubs some people as cocky.

This doesn't mean they were horrible people.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#19

Post by SeattleSeeley »

paulitex wrote: post #6
SeattleSeeley wrote: post #2

I know it's a controversial opinion, and I have gotten a lot of criticism, but I'm curious if people agree? I can't imagine what it would be like to be a founder with a "demanding relationship." What about married founders. Isn't it very important to have an understanding wife?

I am in a long term relationship with a girl I plan to marry. For the first year-ish of my startup it was a slow ramp up to the hours/comittment talked about in these articles. I used to read these articles and feel like I was doing something wrong, or was going to fail, because I did have a healthy life and relationship. But when we started having real customers and real investors and real competitors.... excuse the…

Exactly. I'm a little jealous of your situation to be honest. I have tried to do both at once, but it's like I'm cheating on the girl with work! Thinking about it at all times, leaving to go back to work, etc.

When I had a "normal job" dating was easier.

Re: Entrepreneurs are cocky jerks

#20

Post by swombat »

SeattleSeeley wrote: post #18
swombat wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really disagree, enough that I actually wrote a response on my blog: http://swombat.com/2011/11/3/jerk-entrepreneurs I don't think there's a conflict between being a founder and being a good person who treats their partner properly.

Would you agree that all successful entrepreneurs are confident? I guess I feel that cocky and confident are interchangeable. Most I know personally and most you read about (zuck, sean parker, even steve jobs!) were considered ass holes in some peoples eyes, but in fact, they were/are obsessed with winning. They exude an above average amount of confidence that I think rubs some people as cocky. This doesn't mean they…

Actually, I'd say many successful entrepreneurs start not-so-confident. Me, for example. While I'm alright at appearing confident when needed, I would self-describe as shy, and I'm definitely not the classic outgoing, charming extrovert that fits the "cocky jerk entrepreneur" stereotype. Instead, I'm introverted, focused, generally try to avoid confrontation, and find many small talk networking situations quite stressful. And yet, now on my third company, I'm doing quite well.

And I know many other successful entrepreneurs - and I meet more every week through my work at GrantTree - and the best ones are not at all jerks. Some of them are outgoing extroverts, others are more withdrawn, but a quality they all tend to have is that they're friendly, approachable, polite, etc.

Now, Steve Jobs and Zuckerberg are really exceptions, I don't think you can base a general rule on them, but even Steve Jobs, if you want to take him as an example, made a very clear commitment to focus on his family. He had only 2 things to focus on: his family and Apple. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have reviewed contracts while having dinner with his wife. His entire attention and razor-sharp focus would be on her.

I'm reminded of something an Accenture partner I once worked with said. He liked working in financial services consulting because many people in the workplace are either competent and assholes, or nice people but incompetent, and he felt that either one without the other is unacceptable.

Whether or not that's true of FS consulting, I think it's true in general: just because you're really busy changing the world doesn't justify turning into an asshole. If you act like a jerk, you're a jerk, and that's that.

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