"Most of the things- and I mean like 99.9%- that people do or talk about, I just have no interest in (or actively disagree with).”
Then you have plenty time to do whatever you have interest into, right?
A picture of me
111–120 of 186 posts
Re: A picture of me
#112Social media has destroyed the sense of local communities we once had. It began festering at the beginning of the pandemic when profiteers realized that they had a captive audience. They blistered us with politically divisive trends (lots of things that had no real bearing or impact on us in reality) that made even good friends become distant ideologically. We all immersed ourselves into trusting these companies that…
> t began festering at the beginning of the pandemic when profiteers realized that they had a captive audience. They blistered us with politically divisive trends I'm not going to read the rest of your wall-of-text because I happen to know this all started long before the pandemic.
After browsing the plethora of other rude comments you've embedded throughout this thread, you not really reading my "wall of text" is probably a good thing...
Also F.T.R., a wound can very well begin before it starts to fester. Good day.
Re: A picture of me
#113No post body was provided.
Re: A picture of me
#114> My social life dissolved over a period of years in my late thirties...
This is extremely common, and if you are a middle aged man or approaching middle age, it is probably happening to you.
If you are a middle-aged man, or even late 20s, it is essential that you make and maintain new friendships. It will seem awkward, but make that effort.
Isolated elderly men is a worldwide social problem [1], which can lead to poor health in the afflicted individuals [2]. It happens because middle-aged men stop making friends like they did in their youth.
[1]https://www.independentage.org/news-media/press-releases/iso...
[2]https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/social-isolation-loneliness-old...
Re: A picture of me
#115Earlier quoted context omitted.
Honestly, I’m just sharing this stuff because I deal with depression too and it has helped me more than anything else, including SSRIs—I tried one years ago and found it to be worse than the depression. For me learning about the biochemistry involved really helped it click to the point that I was able to change some negative habits. I realize that what works for me won’t work for everyone, but it might for some. I’m…
You used just in the response, knowing how much they hate it.
Don't expect to bully people into not using perfectly reasonable language. My language is not for you to dictate. Just deal with it, or stop trying to talk.
Re: A picture of me
#116>> I cannot take seriously all these fleeting pastimes and bucket lists and ultra-specific cultural critiques when the world is a horrible place that is going to implode soon if we don't do something about it. This seems to preemptively foreclose interest in any kind of initial conversation or meeting anyone where they are . And does so because there's something more important. Everything everyone does is a waste of…
That line revealed to me, as someone who has dealt with similar things, that his real problem now is depression. It's not just sadness, it's an inability to perceive a future where things get better, or even a future at all.
Sadly this mentality tends to make it more difficult to do the things you need to dig yourself out of a depressive episode. It's self-reinforcing.
Re: A picture of me
#117Why are all you people talking about this?
A man puts an anonymous blog out there with no way to be contacted. He wants to talk AT us. He doesn't want communication.
I came here curious about what people could possibly be commenting on. It's like you are all peering into a petri dish. This is a man's life. He's probably very depressed. The whole situation is just sad.
Re: A picture of me
#118when I was 11 (1992) my family moved to the US (kansas) I barely spoke the language, spent 2 years in kansas, had to build a whole new friendgroup but kept in touch with friends back home through the just beginning internet (israel) I dont remember if it was hard to make friends, I do remember some people being complete shits to the foreign kid but oh well.. made some friends, graduated middle school... when I was 13…
"I realized a lot of people were just circumstantial friends." It's not a lot, it's nearly all. Friendships with people you see often develop without a lot of effort; it's very difficult to maintain a friendship with someone you don't have physical interactions with. In my own life, it has never happened. Absolutely zero friendships from childhood, school, college, past jobs, etc. lasted after the physical proximity…
that's the thing though, I've managed with a few, I have friends where I can show up at their door and stay for a week and it took WORK either contacting them every week or close to it. finding remote things to do, video chatting, whatever find a way to be present for THEM not just for yourself and even then there's a certain turnover.
this is something that I had modelled for me by my family though, my parents also have friends from childhood maintain friendships over long distances. I wonder if we hadnt moved so much if we'd be more complacent. A huge part of learning how to do this came about because I was living somewhere I couldnt speak the language.
Re: A picture of me
#119>> I cannot take seriously all these fleeting pastimes and bucket lists and ultra-specific cultural critiques when the world is a horrible place that is going to implode soon if we don't do something about it. This seems to preemptively foreclose interest in any kind of initial conversation or meeting anyone where they are . And does so because there's something more important. Everything everyone does is a waste of…
I agree, and I'm surprised to see so much positive feedback in the comments here.
Being disinterested in 99.9% of what other people care about isn't special or interesting. It's just refusing to meet people where they are. If someone is too special for you to connect with, I guarantee that ascending to the lofty heights that they think they inhabit to engage with them will not be worth it. Even if they could articulate where they want you to meet them, and then you went out on a limb to discuss supernovae collapses, or whatever big important thing, I think you'll discover that their special tower above all the fleeting pastimes and bucket lists of the normies would suddenly shift to yet another inaccessible place.
People who genuinely inhabit interesting or rare positions or have special life experiences still love to share their story with other people. No one lives in a tower because their ideals and life story are too special for anyone else to get. They build walls to keep people away. Of course it's never a good idea to tell someone else why they do something, especially a stranger on the internet, but in my experience with people that do this, it's not because they are special, but rather because they are not, and they like the game of making other people pursue them while they continually shift the field so you can never get to them. It's best not to play. If they get lonely enough, they'll do something about it. Hopefully it's a group activity, therapy, or a dose of humble medicine and going to talk about the weather with strangers at a language exchange meetup.
Re: A picture of me
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
You used just in the response, knowing how much they hate it.
Don't expect to bully people into not using perfectly reasonable language. My language is not for you to dictate. Just deal with it, or stop trying to talk.
Yes of course, you may use language as you like.
I've made an effort to remove "just" from my writing for another reason: It doesn't add much.