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A picture of me

caspercloudwalker.bearblog.dev

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Re: A picture of me

#91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Nobody has heard of” You are not everyone. But I included the second caveat to cover each potential usage. Maybe you’ve learned something today

Just gonna trudge on with the pedantry then? Nobody means literally nobody when they say nobody. It's a rhetorical exaggeration.

> Nobody means literally nobody when they say nobody.

This is a funny sentence because you're using "nobody" in the exact way that you claim "nobody" else does.

Re: A picture of me

#92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Nobody has heard of” You are not everyone. But I included the second caveat to cover each potential usage. Maybe you’ve learned something today

Just gonna trudge on with the pedantry then? Nobody means literally nobody when they say nobody. It's a rhetorical exaggeration.

The other poster was actually pointing out something insightful: That the term "soulmate" can (and does) mean different things to different people. What you call the modern usage... isn't. It's used to describe multiple concepts including "the perfect puzzle piece human" and "someone I am bound to through thick and thin". The former is problematic because it allows people to bail at the first sign of trouble while taking no responsibility whatsoever. The later is probably better overall, but I've seen it used to rationalize staying in an abusive relationship.

Re: A picture of me

#93
post #39

I sympathize with the author. I'm in my mid-forties now and have recognized that I haven't been great at maintaining friendships. I think I've experienced something similar during the quarantining portion of the pandemic, where I didn't really interact with anyone directly, at least not in person. I had a job, so did interact with people over Zoom, and I will admit that that helped. A few months ago, however, I quit…

> So, I say to this poster, it's true that things like idle chitchat may not be your cup of tea, I think it's important to realize that many people don't enjoy it either but just use it as a social grease to move into more deep conversation or connection. it took me probably 7 years after moving out of my parent’s place to learn that “smalltalk” and “idle chitchat” are not necessarily the same thing. the “aha!” momen…

Your comment has inspired me to change my outlook when participating in “ephemeral” conversations (conversations with people that I likely won’t ever have a chance to see regularly)

A couple of people I’m close to have always relished these conversations and I’ve never understood why until now. Thank you!

Re: A picture of me

#94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just gonna trudge on with the pedantry then? Nobody means literally nobody when they say nobody. It's a rhetorical exaggeration.

> Nobody means literally nobody when they say nobody. This is a funny sentence because you're using "nobody" in the exact way that you claim "nobody" else does.

I mean that's half the joke, but am I though? :)

Re: A picture of me

#95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know what’s best for you. I’m wondering though if you’ve tried the non-pharmaceutical options already? Daily exercise, time outside, eating healthy, limiting screen time, sleeping well, and all that. A lot of studies have found doing these things to be at least as effective as SSRIs. They can create hormonal and neurochemical changes that are just as strong. Check out some of Andrew Huberman’s podcasts for more o…

I’m so tired of hearing people say this as if we haven’t already googled every non-medical intervention imaginable before resorting to meds. Nobody wants to be on meds their whole life. Nobody. Why do people always assume I and others like me “took the easy way out” and always say “well did you just try exercise/sunlight/chakra/insertdietyhere??” Before I finally got a doctor that could help I was tormented by people…

Honestly, I’m just sharing this stuff because I deal with depression too and it has helped me more than anything else, including SSRIs—I tried one years ago and found it to be worse than the depression. For me learning about the biochemistry involved really helped it click to the point that I was able to change some negative habits.

I realize that what works for me won’t work for everyone, but it might for some. I’m by no means trying to imply anything negative about anyone who concludes that pharmaceuticals are the best (or only) option for them. I sincerely wish both you and your brother the best.

Re: A picture of me

#96

Community is showing up. Find anywhere and go there once a week at the same time.

100%. I thought I was good at making friends becuase I always had a friend group I could do stuff with. Turns out I just had a hobby that forced me to show up at the same place 1-2 times a week with the same group of people. I continued that hobby in every new city I moved to and easily "made friends" there.

It's kind of silly but honestly a lot of friendships are just the people one sees most often.

Re: A picture of me

#97
post #7

Something I've learned is that you don't love and connect with people because of who they are; you don't often find people you magically feel close to or interested in right at the beginning. You can't hold out for that. You love and connect with people because... you love and connect with them. The more time you spend, the more you share about yourself, the more moments you have together- relationships will usually…

> But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long, close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self: the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.

David Whyte - Friendship

Re: A picture of me

#98
I got very nihilistic when I was in my twenties.

There was a yt video were someone said: you can be miserable nihilistic or life your life.

On my nihilistic side it actually doesn't matter what you choose.

But I'm trying to go the other path.

We are all unique and not at all.

But it's your life and it's your only life,might be worth it to make it work for you.

Re: A picture of me

#99
I don't get this: Why not volunteer?

No need for low-quality experiences: you give them quality by participating, and so does everybody else along.

Re: A picture of me

#100
post #25

Community is showing up. Find anywhere and go there once a week at the same time.

This took me too long to learn. We're told over and over to "be yourself," but sometimes you have to make an effort to be like everyone else. I see in the author and in myself sometimes a weird sense of pride in having unusual opinions and tastes. This isn't going to win you any friends or impress anyone. If you're just waiting for someone to show up that shares all your thoughts, then you're going to continue to be…

Most people trying to make sense of the instruction don't know themselves well enough to be that authentic self, particularly those perceived as unpleasant. They almost always turn out to be aping somebody they knew, read about, or saw in a movie, and never questioned whether there was a better way for themself.

The best ways to your authentic self are to make things and help other people. The worse off they are, the bigger the difference you can make.

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