I’d strongly recommend discussing your feelings with a therapist
Edit: to expand on this, yes, you identify some real problems with the modern world. But no, you don’t have to live like this. And a therapist may be able to help.
A picture of me
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Re: A picture of me
#12I have been down this path before. The author might benefit from a healthy dose of Stoicism. Yes, everything is imploding. It always has and it always will be. Yes, nobody truly understands you, and we're all putting on a show to make it through the day. That doesn't mean there isn't something real that has value in this facade of a fleeting existence. You can shut the world out if you like, but it is your choice. Yo…
> You can engage with it ... and it will engage you back. Not on your terms but on its own.
So true, instead of trying to survive like most of humanity has done in the past, we've reached a point where, in our comfort, we now expect much more from the world. We expect relatable movie plots, novel twists, Disney endings, and the ability to push 'reset' on bad outcomes.
Why is the world so messed up when everything looks so good on Instagram?
Re: A picture of me
#13On one hand, I don't NOT want to be empathetic, but this feels like a ridiculous comparison, and I suppose it's my hope that the author understands that at some point, and writes a part two with bit of "Okay, I was being a bit dramatic, though it was how I felt."
He has/had freedom to change this in a way that your subjects in the story likely did not.
Re: A picture of me
#14Sorry, the last two paragraphs got to me. You need to lighten up, and start trying to understand your fellow man. Small talk is never just small talk. It's a way of starting to understand another human being in some small way. It's just the beginning.
You've adopted 'not seeing others' as a personality trait. It isn't, and there are no prizes for living a profound, lonely life, hoping to understand something deep about your own soul. Grow up.
Just try taking a genuine interest in someone other than yourself. You don't even need to agree with them, just respect them as beings with as much depth as you and enjoy the hunt for common ground. You may never find it with some, but occasionally you will. And god you will learn more every time.
You don't have unlimited time to fix this. You will realise at some point in your old age feeling like a special and deep thinker is not worth dying alone for.
This reads like a 21st century Holden Caulfield. Sorry that's a low blow, but it comes from a place of compassion. I think some tough love is in order and you need to hear it.
Re: A picture of me
#15Posted here on HN by the author?
No
Re: A picture of me
#16Found this list of short stories that can keep one's mind entertained & can bring some nice ideas:
https://ipfs.eternum.io/ipfs/QmSiaEmhLvFdzzvkBmJKtRDmZRNDpDt...
I find that when I can't seem to properly communicate with people around, reading helps.
If you have your own recommendations, feel free to share. These days they would be useful.
Re: A picture of me
#17If by chance the author reads this, I’d recommend looking into whether he is autistic. This sense of not fitting in, of not enjoying small talk, and of feeling like an “alien” or very different than most others is common in the autistic community. If diagnosed, or even if he volunteers/makes an effort to meet other autistic folks, he may find some common ground he hasn’t found in the neurotypical world. I wish him the best.
Re: A picture of me
#18Something I've learned is that you don't love and connect with people because of who they are; you don't often find people you magically feel close to or interested in right at the beginning. You can't hold out for that. You love and connect with people because... you love and connect with them. The more time you spend, the more you share about yourself, the more moments you have together- relationships will usually…
I love this comment! Feels like the perfect words coming from a great direction.
Adding on:
- the perfect is the enemy of the good
- it gets easier, you just have to do it every day
- we forge the chains we wear in life - jibjab hotdogs
Re: A picture of me
#19If by chance the author reads this, I’d recommend looking into whether he is autistic. This sense of not fitting in, of not enjoying small talk, and of feeling like an “alien” or very different than most others is common in the autistic community. If diagnosed, or even if he volunteers/makes an effort to meet other autistic folks, he may find some common ground he hasn’t found in the neurotypical world. I wish him th…
Is it the case that autistic people often relate to one another better than they can with the non-autistic?
Re: A picture of me
#20Something I've learned is that you don't love and connect with people because of who they are; you don't often find people you magically feel close to or interested in right at the beginning. You can't hold out for that. You love and connect with people because... you love and connect with them. The more time you spend, the more you share about yourself, the more moments you have together- relationships will usually…
The same goes for spouses, by the way.
You don't have a happy marriage/partnership because you met the person of your dreams and then both accidentally stay the same person forever.
Happy marriages exist because people continuously and mutually change each other in a positive way.