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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#631

Post by _yb2s »

kelseyfrog wrote: post #492
wonderwonder wrote: post #395

Wonder if this is related to the lack of personal relationships in general, especially friendships. There is an epidemic of loneliness in the world. So many ways to communicate and all we can do is post memes and upvote influencers. I am happily married but have zero friends. I met my wife through my friend group in college. If I heaven forbid got a divorce tomorrow, not sure where I would meet someone new. Guess I w…

We're nineteen years into the project of digitally reifying human relationships - one that's snowballing into an unmitigated catastrophe. Social media circa 2003 began as a codification of existing human relationships. One's first digital friends records generally were a product of social relations, but as the marginal cost of digital reproduction tends toward zero, so did the cost of digital records of friendship un…

Very insightful comment... however, I'd argue that there are still people out there that aren't social media users, and you can find these communities and regain this as an individual, even though it is massively less available than it once was

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#632

Post by [deleted] »

aiisjustanif wrote: post #610
jeffreyrogers wrote: post #305

"Ctrl-F Marriage" gives no results. Surely decrease in marriages is the biggest driver. It's a lot easier to have sex with someone if you live with them. A straight person isn't going to find multiple new partners to sleep with per week and even if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you are cohabitating you probably only see them a few days per week.

> It's a lot easier to have sex with someone if you live with them. I promise you it’s just as easy if you live near each other and much of Europe isn’t get married in their early 20s but are still having sex.

[deleted]

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#633

Post by CalRobert »

tomp wrote: post #455
CalRobert wrote: post #415

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Three years ago a HN user named Dexwiz wrote something that hit me hard. I'd felt this, but I never saw it put in to words so well. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20470085 """ The Screen and the Job have displaced almost everything else is our lives. Loneliness is just a primary symptom. The Screen, whether it’s TV, computer, or phone, has supplanted almost all social interactions. This manifests itself in thin…

Well, not entirely. I moved to be able to have a family (more child-friendly & car-friendly environment) and found a better job. But then I realize I'm extremely privileged as a programmer and that most people don't have that choice (and even for me, the choices are limited, NYC > London > Zürich > Ljubljana with each step at least 2x difference in compensation)

Interestingly Ljubljana is on my shortlist of livable cities. I didn't mention it in my original comment but car-dependent suburban design patterns also increase isolation, I think. When I lived in a flat in the middle of Dublin I became friends with several of my neighbours. Where I am now (which is admittedly countryside, not suburban) not so much.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#634

Post by hbn »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #330

Cool? If you're not making a baby, sex is mostly a meaningless waste of time. Would rather be focused on a productive pursuit, as opposed to how I can get someone to squish their body against my body for endorphins. I mean, when you get down to it, if the point of sex is 'cuz it feels good', why not just take drugs, or skydive, or eat an entire pepperoni pizza? Less chance of disease, you don't have to make yourself…

To reword your question: "Why would you -- in the short few years of life you were given on this planet -- want to experience pleasure?"

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#635

Post by Minor49er »

heretogetout wrote: post #564
Minor49er wrote: post #553

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems at odds with Stephen Colbert's famous quote "Reality has a well known liberal bias". Regardless, there isn't anything in MGTOW that indicates either left or right wing views as far as I can tell

There was a lot of anti-Clinton hate in the MGTOW sub.

No post body was provided.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#636

Post by EUROCARE »

mcv wrote: post #595
EUROCARE wrote: post #237

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There was socialism in CEE back then. So nobody and much less people in their 20s could afford their own home. After my parents got married, they lived in a 3-room apartment (+ kitchen, 65m2 in total) together with both parents of my mother, her grandmother, and her sister (who had a child) also sometimes showed up.

By CEE do you mean the European Economic Community? Or are you referring to eastern European communism? I don't know how the situation was there, but in western Europe, people could absolutely afford to at least rent in their 20s. My grandparents, who weren't rich at all (my granddad was a nurse) could afford a very large house, and my parents could afford to buy a fairly large house when they were 34. And I know tha…

CEE refers to Central and Eastern Europe, so countries such as GDR, Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Poland.

The situation was bad. It wasn't legal to rent.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#637

Post by belorn »

ImPostingOnHN wrote: post #615
belorn wrote: post #544

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The source for the article cites both women and men. That said, if it is also true that fewer men are sleeping with more women then the cause of this can also be attributed to the choice of the women than the choice of men.

another possible explanation is that fewer men are competing in the dating pool at all but assuming your hypothesis is correct, to what do you think that choice can be attributed?

If we look at Japan as an example, the observation I would make is how much people interacts with computer that simulates or replaces physical social interactions with a computer facilitated one. Be that a social networks, traditional media, movies, tvs, but also practical every day activities like work, shopping and entertainment. This interferes on a psychological level how people form emotional bonds, which changes behavior in both men and women.

If we observe that women are choosing from a smaller pool of men, one way to describe that would be that women turning into more tournament-like in their strategy for reproduction and away from pair bonding. Tournament and pair bonding strategies have both benefits and drawbacks, and both are related and possible influenced by perceived social status of potential mates.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#638

Post by kelseyfrog »

_yb2s wrote: post #631
kelseyfrog wrote: post #492

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We're nineteen years into the project of digitally reifying human relationships - one that's snowballing into an unmitigated catastrophe. Social media circa 2003 began as a codification of existing human relationships. One's first digital friends records generally were a product of social relations, but as the marginal cost of digital reproduction tends toward zero, so did the cost of digital records of friendship un…

Very insightful comment... however, I'd argue that there are still people out there that aren't social media users, and you can find these communities and regain this as an individual, even though it is massively less available than it once was

I agree that those communities exist, but a person who has been digitally domesticated faces not only a greater challenge finding them, but also of in integrating with them. Digital domestication represents not only cultural gap, but a social gap in skills, perception, norms, and values that makes social integration a multifaceted issue. I think we both agree the benefits associated with doing so while being aware of the unique challenges. Live and drink, friend.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#639

Post by orangepurple »

anovikov wrote: post #185
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Because it hardly takes more than 2-3 seconds to swipe, and there were so few matches you couldn't probably waste too much time on handling them, it looks like about 5 hours of work gets you 1 date. I think it's more than OK. A date itself takes more time and more money. This is efficient.

In the worked example 16561 swipes over four months resulted in 3 dates that went nowhere for a slightly above average male.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#640

Post by nunez »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #330

Cool? If you're not making a baby, sex is mostly a meaningless waste of time. Would rather be focused on a productive pursuit, as opposed to how I can get someone to squish their body against my body for endorphins. I mean, when you get down to it, if the point of sex is 'cuz it feels good', why not just take drugs, or skydive, or eat an entire pepperoni pizza? Less chance of disease, you don't have to make yourself…

damn, that is a sad take.
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