Sex is going out of fashion? • Hacker News Board

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#561

Post by pr0zac » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:04 PM UTC

R0b0t1 wrote: post #155

leksak wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that "probably" could make due with some nuance. A Tinder swipe away is a very high-risk way of having sex. There's so many men out there that truly do not treat women well, and that one wouldn't want to have sex with. Yet, nothing inhibits them from having very well-curated Tinder profiles.

But there's so many men out there that woman can probably find someone , at least in a normal-ish city. Most men get zilch. I think we're seeing some of the less obvious effects of that now. Men don't get to have a sexual exploration or slut phase and this is... who knows, stunting their emotional growth? Among other things. As each sex gets older, women tend to accumulate more experience, and mock men who may be lac…

The statistics disagree. Men on average have sex earlier[1] and with more people during their lifetime[2][3] and a higher percentage of people find theres negative stigma surrounding women having a high number of partners than men having a low number[4].

1: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/s.htm#sexualact... 2: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlif... 3: https://www.ipsos.com/en-uk/sexual-fantasies-our-mispercepti... 4: https://bespokesurgical.com/2021/06/24/sexual-history-by-sta...

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#562

Post by kingkawn » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:04 PM UTC

germinalphrase wrote: post #478

kingkawn wrote: post #429

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Talking it ain't doing it. That you think that those topics bridge that gap is also indicative of why people aren't fucking.

I disagree to the degree that a whole lot of people in the world are walking around without a lot of knowledge about their own sexuality. They often don’t even understand what their gas and brakes really are - which is often not even directly connected to sexual function (but that’s a topic for sex therapy). That said, my gut impression is that people are less sociable and less socialized than we used to be. I believ…

You are discussing others as generalizations, and my argument is that our tendency to attach ourselves to discussions of generalizations itself is the thing that intrudes as it is the absolute opposite of having sex. Fucking is an act that takes place entirely in the concrete present. Our ability to continuously dissociate into intangible abstractions has made us lose touch with our bodies. The discussion of podcasts and identities and all these other archetypes and mediums that divorce us from our physicality are ground zero of this loss.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#563

Post by rowanG077 » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:11 PM UTC

eropple wrote: post #536

Minor49er wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always got the feeling that MGTOW was nonpartisan, or rather, apolitical at their core

Most right-wing movements of which I am aware would definitely like to be seen as apolitical (and thus reduce the critical eye aimed at them). But the line you can draw from there (and similarly from "apolitical" rage-movements like GamerGate) to the current state of things is a straight one.

Conversely it's very easy for people to label any group they don't like as a hate group to try and sway public opinion to discount them.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#564

Post by heretogetout » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:19 PM UTC

Minor49er wrote: post #553

eropple wrote: post #536

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most right-wing movements of which I am aware would definitely like to be seen as apolitical (and thus reduce the critical eye aimed at them). But the line you can draw from there (and similarly from "apolitical" rage-movements like GamerGate) to the current state of things is a straight one.

This seems at odds with Stephen Colbert's famous quote "Reality has a well known liberal bias". Regardless, there isn't anything in MGTOW that indicates either left or right wing views as far as I can tell

There was a lot of anti-Clinton hate in the MGTOW sub.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#565

Post by metalliqaz » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:21 PM UTC

UkrainianJew wrote: post #464

40acres wrote: post #264

*In the west. I think gender equality may be a big culprit. Take the US for example: women will dominate the college educated class soon if they haven't already, and with that economic freedom comes more optionality in choosing a partner, there are more choices to be had and there will be a self selection of the most desirable men (typically college educated as it correlates to income). This is not to blame women in…

You are forgetting the strong anti-male sentiment throughout the education system. Toxic masculinity this, male privilege that. Women get graduated thinking that investing your time in your own family and kids is slavery, but living paycheck-to-paycheck in a rented condo, ready to be laid off on a whim is true freedom.

how about investing in your family and kids while your husband lives paycheck-to-paycheck in a rented condo, ready to be laid off on a whim?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#566

Post by jimbob45 » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:22 PM UTC

jacknews wrote: post #110

Market homogenization (because of the apps) leads to a larger scale of 'winner takes all' dynamics, ie increasing inequality. The top players in the market are probably getting way more offers than they can, um, service, and for anyone in the lower ranks, the effort/reward is uneconomic.

Uneconomic? It's laziness. If you went up to any guy in the 90s and told them that you had a device with a 1/50 chance of pairing them up with a woman that wanted to have sex with them every night that they spent 15 minutes on said device, they'd beg you to sell it to them for any price.

Now, those odds are apparently not good enough for the men of the 2020s. It's insane - these men just don't want sex enough if they're not willing to spend 15 mindless minutes a night swiping and messaging.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#567

Post by germinalphrase » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:29 PM UTC

kingkawn wrote: post #562

germinalphrase wrote: post #478

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree to the degree that a whole lot of people in the world are walking around without a lot of knowledge about their own sexuality. They often don’t even understand what their gas and brakes really are - which is often not even directly connected to sexual function (but that’s a topic for sex therapy). That said, my gut impression is that people are less sociable and less socialized than we used to be. I believ…

You are discussing others as generalizations, and my argument is that our tendency to attach ourselves to discussions of generalizations itself is the thing that intrudes as it is the absolute opposite of having sex. Fucking is an act that takes place entirely in the concrete present. Our ability to continuously dissociate into intangible abstractions has made us lose touch with our bodies. The discussion of podcasts…

Perhaps, but we are not operating in a pure vacuum of naturalism and some amount of relationship building typically precedes sex. We are not merely coupling on a grassy plain by natural raw instinct. That might be a loss - but culture, sexual identity, religion have commandeered the natural sexual energies of mankind since… just about as long as we can tell.

If you are fully immersed in your raw, human sexuality - that’s great. For many, sex and sexuality is more nuanced than mere fucking.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#568

Post by heretogetout » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:33 PM UTC

rowanG077 wrote: post #532

heretogetout wrote: post #518

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you go forward a few days or months you will start to see rabid hatred of women pop up from time to time. Frequently enough for the sub to earn its reputation.

From time to time is very different from being a hate movement. In any large group of people weird stuff pops up from time to time. I think you can only classify something as a hate movement if the hate is inherent to the large majority that make up the group, which didn't used to be the case for MGTOW.

Given you say you didn't see the misogynistic content I'm not sure you spent much time looking in to what was going on in the subreddit -- you may have missed how hateful its members were, especially in the latter years.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#569

Post by y-c-o-m-b » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:35 PM UTC

wonderwonder wrote: post #395

Wonder if this is related to the lack of personal relationships in general, especially friendships. There is an epidemic of loneliness in the world. So many ways to communicate and all we can do is post memes and upvote influencers. I am happily married but have zero friends. I met my wife through my friend group in college. If I heaven forbid got a divorce tomorrow, not sure where I would meet someone new. Guess I w…

I have schizotypal personality disorder, so I love solitude 90% of the time, but even I'm starting to miss having friends. I watch shows like Derry Girls or Detectorists and I'm thinking damn I know my childhood and teenage friends were just "friendships of convenience", but I miss being part of a group or posse with "no holds barred" friendships. The relationships with colleagues at work aren't the same... always seem to have some kind of "wall"; I guess it's because the friendship going badly will have a detrimental impact at work and you have to interact with these people every day whether you want to or not.

It's crazy how hard it is to not only make friends, but keep them. My wife and I meet another couple that even have kids the same age as ours. We get along very well, they like us and we like them. We managed to have dinner once and we see each other occasionally at outings or birthdays. We have fun each time, but then we go months in-between without any communication. It's like there's some kind of threshold or tolerance preventing us from making it a more permanent bond.

EDIT: after thinking on it a little bit, I can't remember my parents nor friend's parents having friendships either. That makes me second-guess the technological influences on loneliness. I'm sure technology is making it worse, but I don't think we can point at it and say "this is the cause" because the loneliness epidemic seems to have started even before my generation.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#570

Post by guerrilla » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 6:38 PM UTC

Kye wrote: post #442

R0b0t1 wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it is more than fair to just say men have it worse in regards to online dating.

I can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate men is a great time.

You seriously can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate women is a great time? That having hundreds if not thousands to choose from is a grea time?