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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#511

Post by morbia »

oblak wrote: post #419

What a premise. I am not buying it. To those struggling with online dating: stop and get out in the real world. It's easier, trust me. Don't believe the people who are trying to tell you otherwise. Not only you don't need these apps, they are likely the reason you're not getting much sex. Recently, I tried watching How I met your father. Felt like an ad for a certain online dating service. It was absolutely horrible…

Gay guy here, who is polyamorous.

I appreciate my experiences are wildly different from a straight person's, but I would be very careful in advertising 'real world dating' as just easier. Often I've seen guys (straight and gay) who struggle with dating do so because their mental health is not in the right state (desperation is not sexy gents). People should focus on sorting that first (exercise, sleep, eating properly etc) before going out on the dating scene.

What I would say people should be careful about with apps is to always consider that the motivations of the business do not necessarily align with yours. Tinder wants you to engage with the app as much as possible to drive revenue, they don't want you find the love of your life because then the revenue stream stops. I see it like alcohol though, a little bit of alcohol is a great social lubricant, too much ends in misery.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#512

Post by moomoo11 »

vkou wrote: post #437
moomoo11 wrote: post #371

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish there’s some discovery on another planet that makes people venture out like in the old days. Fuck it I’ll lead or be part of a crew to get on a space ship and maybe never come back. Being stuck at a laptop all day is so fucking boring now because work from home means I’d rather not. I want to be out and about. Not stuck inside ALL day (along with everyone else).

People do venture out like the old days, there's never any shortage, of, say, people wanting to establish a new home across the Atlantic because they are fleeing religious or ethnic persecution, or just trying to migrate for better economic opportunities. We don't want them here, though, which is why they can't do it. If pre-contact America/Australia had strong passport controls, Europeans wouldn't have been 'venturi…

I meant facing the unknown. I can find all the information about moving across the Atlantic because it’s not anything new or novel at this point. But five hundred years ago that was a journey of a lifetime and at the end were either riches or death.

Worst case scenario if I move across the Atlantic is that I don’t go bankrupt because I had a medical emergency. You know what? That doesn’t sound so bad.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#513

Post by flomo »

Balgair wrote: post #234
sokoloff wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am also less physically attractive if I’m 25# heavier than I should be. This goes to an even greater extent once that surplus tips towards 50#.

Aside: Woah, using the # (pound) symbol for lbs., why did I never think of that before? Thanks for blowing my mind a bit there sokoloff

Sorta interesting I guess, this was a very common abbreviation which seemed to disappear with computerization.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#514

Post by Sholmesy »

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #135
bko wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

Podcasts changed the game for me on this. Now there are entire days where I never turn the TV on. A bonus is that I can get basic chores done while listening or workout. It really freed me from the couch potato routine. A bonus is that many of them are educational and released weekly, so "binge" isn't really an option. There are certainly "junk food" podcasts that I listen to but the ratio of informative to junk comp…

> Stavros!

You can just say Cum Town ;)

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#515

Post by jimmyjazz14 »

onepointsixC wrote: post #174
michaelbrooks wrote: post #106

I'd say the explosion of mental health and anxiety is playing a huge part in it as well. My wife and I would have a child if we knew we were stable and able to look after them properly. Also, with the wars, global warming and everything else that's happening right now, why would you want to bring a child into this?

The world has never been more prosperous, safer, and more able to address the issues of its day, ever. Wars have been a near constant factor of human history for nearly all written history, and yet today we enjoy more peace as a species than any other era. In the past few decades we've seen extreme poverty decline dramatically. And we've never had so many viable options for decarbonization. When your parents had you,…

Its interesting that one of the most guaranteed ways to get down-voted online is to say the world isn't as bad as it seems, I would really like to understand the psychology behind that.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#516

Post by grp »

weatherlite wrote: post #509
wonderwonder wrote: post #503

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its probably my fault. Once I had kids I completely lost the ability to manage them and a social life. I felt bad just leaving my wife to go hang out with friends and then as they got older I have replaced IRL friends with doom scrolling. Definitely a mental thing I need to fix. I did delete twitter the other day so that's one small step :)

Deleting Twitter is amazing. I am contentmplating moving to a dumb phone. Extreme I know.

On my old nokia C3, there is a kind of App Store that is not working for a while as the servers are shutdown.

Everytime I "joke" that I live in the future of smartphones.

What is Twitter ?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#517

Post by CodeSgt »

huachimingo wrote: post #377
CodeSgt wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand what you're trying to convey and I'm sorry but it's just not true. Brain scans show the pathways for porn addiction are very similar to those found in cocain and amphetamine addicts. Perhaps this is true for you, but don't discredit porn addiction as not a "real addiction" when it's an established fact that it is one on par with substance abuse.

An addiction can be sometimes a masked emotional need/problem. -I want porn, because I carve intimacy -I want to smoke, so I can relax or be seen as Y. -I drink a lot of coffee because I dont have time for Quality Sleep.

Almost every single drug addict and alcoholic has an emotional basis for their addiction. Be it childhood trauma, a predisposition to anxiety/depression, etc.

The fact that these reasons exist doesn't make the addiction any less of an addiction. It's often a reason why rehab centers try to take a holistic approach and not only tackle the addiction, but the surrounding lifestyle choices that further enable the addiction.

It's not "addiction is a masked emotional needs problem" it's, "addiction is often accompanied by emotional needs problems". Subtly different, but different nonetheless.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#518

Post by heretogetout »

rowanG077 wrote: post #479
eropple wrote: post #365

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's never what the MGTOW people asserted in any serious way. From the jump it was "the world is 'sexually prejudiced' against us men [or capital-M Men when they were being extra weird] and so we should separate from it entirely." It immediately leapt right into what would today be called "cope" how even if you do get married she'll just divorce you for a studly chad and take all your stuff, the fear of feminists (…

It's not "my" movement. I was triggered by someone saying it is a hate movement when this was not my impression. I just went back using the wayback machine to a random page from 2015: http://web.archive.org/web/20150813192410/https://www.reddit... There doesn't seem to be any weird stuff there but I'm not a social scientist so I will have to take your word for it. I'm not so invested to start a heated discussion abou…

If you go forward a few days or months you will start to see rabid hatred of women pop up from time to time. Frequently enough for the sub to earn its reputation.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#519

Post by collegeburner »

throwaway34135 wrote: post #510
throwaway515 wrote: post #432

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So often times people feel forced into online dating as one of the few "sanctioned" spaces where it's still considered okay to flirt with strangers. This has been the story of my life. I think there is a certain type of person - physical attractiveness is part of it, but charisma is even bigger – who can "get away with" flirting in unsanctioned spaces. It's a combination of being confident enough to break taboo, pe…

See I think there are no "unsanctioned places" except for maybe a mosque or a funeral. I think the real unwritten rule is, don't flirt with someone unless you're reasonably confident that they'd like to be flirted with. Some people might be able to figure that out in a matter of minutes, and others might need to get to know someone over the course of weeks or months in a casual group setting to figure it out. I am so…

This is because learning comes from failing and getting better. And young people can not do this easily because there is a lot of stigma associated with being the "creep" who flirts badly or when not wanted.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#520

Post by MisterBastahrd »

nnoitra wrote: post #486
MisterBastahrd wrote: post #470

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not surprised when you look at the quality of 20ish year old males. They expect sex to just fall in their laps without doing anything like learning to socialize or being interesting.

Speaking about sex to fall in their laps. I remember 2009 or so even sort of cute guys were having girls approach them. Now the looks required for that have basically skyrocketed. Being kinda cute doesn't cut it nowadays. You have to be tall broad shouldered and have a decent career.

This is why it pays to socialize. Live your entire life behind a keyboard or phone screen and you are giving people objective reasons to dismiss you out of hand. Most people do not want to live with shut-ins. Tinder is a dating tool, not a replacement for socialization.
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