Sex is going out of fashion? • Hacker News Board

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#161

Post by flak48 » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:19 PM UTC

cryptica wrote: post #151

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Reading stuff like this makes me really glad that I married my first girlfriend. We've been married for over 10 years now. She was really out of my league. I did compromise on many things including age gap (she is older), past baggage and the fact that I have to let her win every argument and do everything she says but I'm glad because she was the opportunity of my life and I took it and I've never been so lucky sinc…

If you don't mind me asking, what are some things you like that you feel make it worth being with this person? (since you mentioned past baggage and having to 'let her win every argument' - that doesn't sound too nice)

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#162

Post by pclmulqdq » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:20 PM UTC

Gravityloss wrote: post #96

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

How does an average woman find the process?

My understanding is that average women get a lot more matches and messages, but start about the same number of conversations. The filtering step just happens later

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#163

Post by gwbas1c » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:20 PM UTC

Uhm, the lower birthrates in developed countries is because of better access to birth control, and because it's hard to raise a gaggle of kids when both parents work full-time.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#164

Post by turboponyy » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:20 PM UTC

hobo_mark wrote: post #157

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

No idea where the figures would be from, but it sounds like a lot of this could be automated away, anyone invented swipe-bots yet?

https://github.com/jeffmli/TinderAutomation https://github.com/philipperemy/Deep-Learning-Tinder https://github.com/joelbarmettlerUZH/auto-tinder

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#165

Post by spacemanmatt » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:21 PM UTC

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

> Women tend to date up

What if the 53% of men swiping right ("accept") are attempting to date "up"

I think there may be some hidden assumptions you should investigate, there.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#166

Post by CodeSgt » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:21 PM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #156

CodeSgt wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not so sure. The average age someone is the first time they watch porn is 11, well before some of the issues you mentioned would manifest. When a porn addiction is developed before you hit your teens it's hard to blame a dysfunctional sex life on externalities.

I do not think an “addiction” is the problem. Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn. What has changed is the availability of porn introducing an extremely low cost alternative to sex, reducing the impetus for making the effort to find a partner (relative to previous times). Maybe even reducing the impetus to putting in the effort to seduce an existing partner! Of course, it is not uniform across all men…

> Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn.

That makes intuitive sense, but is far from the reality. Many men, even in otherwise healthy relationships, prefer porn.

Again I really wish more data was collected on this but anecdotally I've seen hundreds on online discussions from both women who are concerned about their partner and declining sex life and from men who want to quit using porn to better service the needs of their partner.

Porn addiction is real, serious, and more common than you may think.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#167

Post by oldsecondhand » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:21 PM UTC

Beltiras wrote: post #115

vidanay wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because now you get a lifetime label as a registered sex offender if you get caught. Additionally, those of us who grew up in the 80's had the absolute fear of AIDS drilled into us. IMO, the AIDS epidemic blunted the libido of at least one generation.

Almost nobody got laid in the 80's. Fact.

In the 80s AIDS was the gay disease. Also people live longer than a decade.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#168

Post by shrikant » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:21 PM UTC

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #147

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

What’s the source of this?

At least for the "top 5% of men" thing, it's an oft-repeated meme on this forum.

https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&qu...

In fact, it gets repeated so frequently in threads/topics like this one, that I wonder if the true origin of this "statistic" is in fact some of the... more interesting corners of Reddit/4chan.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#169

Post by yCombLinks » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:21 PM UTC

vidanay wrote: post #71

usrn wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

It's not a big deal, we know that now. In the 80's when I was a teenager, the fear-tactics and abstinence only education were strong - I'd even say at their peak. Those patterns get embedded in your brain.

We know that now because it's true now. In the late 80s it was a very big deal and an almost certain death sentence. We had no treatment options for years.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#170

Post by spacemanmatt » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 1:22 PM UTC

pwdisswordfish9 wrote: post #159

chii wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the options are grim for men who are less than very appealing. And you wonder why there's a fairly large community that have the so-called 'incel' behaviour. It didn't used to exist back in the pre-net dating era!

Yeah, back then unattractive men couldn’t even form a community.

To be sure, it's a ridiculous way to align a community today.

Evidence: The ridicule.