You need a good tutor. I suggest finding a math major at a local university to teach you. The problem is that, from what I can infer from your description, you don't have the fundamental skills necessary to self-tech effectively. You could try using some of the resources mentioned by other commenters, but chances are this process will much more tedious than if you had a mentor, and you'll probably come to believe var…
Yes, you are right. I've taught proofs in a college setting for thirty years, both in a Discrete Math class largely for CS majors and in a Math major course (done inquiry style). People often convince themselves that they have things right when they are mistaken. Everyone does it, even the best students. OP, you should try to get someone to work with you.