361–370 of 383 posts
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Dating in the west almost feels like an interview these days, at least in the Bay Area. “So where do you see yourself in 5-10 years”? What’s next, you going to ask me to invert a binary tree?
I mean, making a woman truly happy will be more challenging than inverting binary trees anyway.
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Because it sends the wrong message. You take a significant other there for special occasions, or you take a date there if you're really interested/really want to get laid.
Married man 1: "Hey do you want to eat steak?" Married man 2: "Yeah" Married man 1: "Wanna get steak together?" Married man 2: "Yeah" What message does that send? I don't see where anyone is propositioning anyone else. > special occassions You don't celebrate special occassions with friends? Why not? Honestly, this is the saddest thing about the US. Other than romantic things, no one cares to celebrate friendship.
BRB starting a Japanese PUA Youtube business. I will help these men get women.
That's not the point. These men have no interest in dating.
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At least in the US, there is a general decline in participation in social organizations. People don’t go to church picnics anymore, but many don’t really go to anything else either. And in recent years we have discouraged approaching people in the workplace. I think that’s the correct thing to do, because work should be kept separate from personal life. But that also leaves fewer ways for people to meet each other in…
> People don’t go to church picnics anymore, but many don’t really go to anything else either. I suppose that raises the question of intrinsic motivation. Perhaps some people aren't very interested in partnerships and absent the social structures like religion that actively push them into prescribed partnerships, they might just prefer not to pursue them. I'm not sure that is a bad thing. > And in recent years we hav…
That’s a theoretical possibility but I don’t see much evidence for that. Do young folks today seem happier and more well adjusted than folks who were the same age 20-30 years ago? Myriad social well-being indicators are trending in bad directions.
I think many people who are single (men and women) would be happier in a relationship, but don’t have the tools and skills to succeed in the relationship economy. They need society to guide them and provide structure just like they need society to do the same thing in the employment economy. And the older generation has abdicated its duty to provide that social infrastructure, leaving young people to fend for themselves. Libertarianism doesn’t produce desirable outcomes for the median person either as applies to economics or society.
> The workplace is still a pretty good place to meet potential partners if you have the right social skills, social awareness, respect, and tact.
I’ve never met a woman who thinks that. We are talking about people’s livelihoods. Even if a small fraction of men have the social skills to accept rejection without letting it affect their work interactions with a person, most do not, which means that women will mainly encounter those who do not.
The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. Who wants to date, marry, or have kids if you can barely live your life?
My guess is that in pre-modern times, a lot of child care would happen by various neighbors so everyone would have some experience being around small kids. Now childcare is largely a business where specific people spend everyday, all day caring for kids (daycare, pre-K, kindergarten, etc).
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
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This is just the natural progression of the gutting of the middle class. A middle class job in the 50s and 60s was MUCH easier on the home and social life. Unions were common and life was pretty civilized on the whole. Since then we've been on a steady regression to the industrial revolution, where employers hold all the power and can use people as they see fit (i.e. forget working only 40 hours a week), and only the…
There's some truth to this. There's also some truth to this generation not being willing to make the sacrifices their parents did. Like those super expensive tiny home in LA were the American Dream that their forebearers moved across the country for. For whatever reason this generation is much less likely to do the same and move to cheap places with decent jobs. Yes they have a point that it shouldn't be so hard and…
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There's some truth to this. There's also some truth to this generation not being willing to make the sacrifices their parents did. Like those super expensive tiny home in LA were the American Dream that their forebearers moved across the country for. For whatever reason this generation is much less likely to do the same and move to cheap places with decent jobs. Yes they have a point that it shouldn't be so hard and…
Where pray tell are the cheap places with decent jobs besides Texas?
30 y.o. male, (ex-)Russia. First time I went on a date I was 23 years old. Before that with all the studying and work I had no time whatsoever for any kind of a relationship. Some people on this thread bring up that dating let's you develop a skill. In my experience dating is pretty easy if your goal is a long-term relationship, you just need to be yourself. If the other person likes you for who you are and not appea…
The hookups you missed do matter in that you missed out on a lot of the “fun” life provides. It also takes guts to initiate a lot of these conversations and helps a person grow.
Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…
> One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. As Robert Putnam said it, we're literally 'Bowling Alone'. "Dates" are a band-aid, their only positive is they avoid the alternative of universal inceldom.