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You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

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Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#41

Post by gueritaverde »

I don't think bettering yourself necessarily means getting into a career with code. Not sure if that's how you meant it, but I think the idea is to continually develop and learn and if you aren't happy, do something about it.

That's why I am learning to code. Not to be an engineer or to code day to day, but to open more opportunities to work with people and to be able to hang with the brogrammers. Current iteration is recruiter, who knows where I will end up, but I sure as hell am going to keep improving myself and keep looking until I find it!

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#42

Post by swanson »

I'd ignore all the complaints here about the Bottom Line message. People will bash you for making an "absolute truth", take it or leave statement - but people will also bash you for trying to appeal to everyone with an obvious generalization. You can't please everyone so at least pick a voice and stick to it.

I enjoyed the post, even if some of the points are contentious and make me, personally, feel uncomfortable. There is value in being uncomfortable and reading someone point out flaws that I might (ok...that I do) have. It feels bad initially, but sometimes you need that slap in the face to get out of a rut or spark a change in your life.

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#43

Post by buf »

swanson wrote: post #42

I'd ignore all the complaints here about the Bottom Line message. People will bash you for making an "absolute truth", take it or leave statement - but people will also bash you for trying to appeal to everyone with an obvious generalization. You can't please everyone so at least pick a voice and stick to it. I enjoyed the post, even if some of the points are contentious and make me, personally, feel uncomfortable. T…

Thanks for the advice. I've come to realize that posting anything on HN will always amount to some bit of criticism.

Also, I agree that you're spot on with your idea that there is value in being uncomfortable. I agree so much, in fact, that I wrote a blog article about how being uncomfortable is a great motivator.

It's called, "Please, Make Yourself Uncomfortable."

Here it is: http://bufr.tumblr.com/post/6768971854/please-make-yourself-...

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#44

Post by buf »

gueritaverde wrote: post #41

I don't think bettering yourself necessarily means getting into a career with code. Not sure if that's how you meant it, but I think the idea is to continually develop and learn and if you aren't happy, do something about it. That's why I am learning to code. Not to be an engineer or to code day to day, but to open more opportunities to work with people and to be able to hang with the brogrammers. Current iteration i…

Hi Christina! I'll be in Seattle in January. Let's meet for a coffee and show me around town!

Also, I didn't mean to imply that engineers are the only people doing anything. Continuous improvement was the point, and your friends can help you get there as long as you pick your friends right.

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#46

Post by swanson »

buf wrote: post #43
swanson wrote: post #42

I'd ignore all the complaints here about the Bottom Line message. People will bash you for making an "absolute truth", take it or leave statement - but people will also bash you for trying to appeal to everyone with an obvious generalization. You can't please everyone so at least pick a voice and stick to it. I enjoyed the post, even if some of the points are contentious and make me, personally, feel uncomfortable. T…

Thanks for the advice. I've come to realize that posting anything on HN will always amount to some bit of criticism. Also, I agree that you're spot on with your idea that there is value in being uncomfortable. I agree so much, in fact, that I wrote a blog article about how being uncomfortable is a great motivator. It's called, "Please, Make Yourself Uncomfortable." Here it is: http://bufr.tumblr.com/post/6768971854/p…

Thanks for the link, I'll check it out.

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#47

Post by swanson »

curiouslurker wrote: post #17

Somewhat misleading headline I think given the content of the article but still a valid point. My question to you folks out there is this: I came across this statement sometime back and realized I need to change my friends if I am to better my situation. My friends, while good people, are not goal oriented and have for all intents and purposes given up. The people who I'd like to hang out with and who can help me gro…

Maybe these will seem obvious, but maybe one of them will stick:

- Go to meetups, get there early for the networking/pizza stuff that happens before the main talk, stay after and see if people go out for drinks

- If you have a few people you know that might be a good fit, set up a mastermind group; I haven't done this myself but it seems like a low pressure way to get people together and build off the positive peer pressure

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#48

Post by thret »

Quipr wrote: post #18
mrlinx wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

hello there fellow intovert. quick question, where did you measure your EQ?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=empathy+quotient+test Click the guardian one.

I don't think those tests work very well? I scored 49 and I am introverted. I find people easy to read and befriend, but I don't actually want their company. Isn't that the definition of an introvert?

It's like these tests assume people are introverted because they lack social skills. I find that a little insulting.

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#49

Post by meric »

jasminaata wrote: post #13
mrleinad wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great! 1) Maybe "having a mission" would be the best approach at throwing yourself against the wall over and over again, but I'd like to know if that was the thing that motivated you not to stop learning. Never did the thought "ok, maybe I'm not cut for this" cross your mind? 2) You learned chinese during that time? How proficient are you in that language? Did you do it on your own or did you take classes? 3) Any tim…

1) You are right, having a mission definitely kept me on track. It also gave me peace. The moment I decided to start learning about technology, I felt confidence. I knew that one day I will leave the mediocre jobs and be part of this new field. This thought alone gave me confidence when I went to job interviews. During the interview with Genentech I remember thinking about some html code that I just learned and how I…

"which is why it took me so long to enter this field." Good one. :)

Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends

#50

Post by swanson »

egypturnash wrote: post #39

I take issue with that 'bottom line'. I have friends who I hang out with and talk about the business side of what we do, yeah. We also spend a hell of a lot of time just kicking around and critiquing PROJECT IDEAS, and sharing the stuff we've found that we think is pretty awesome.

All the things you are listed are about Getting Better...

Your conversations shouldn't be reciting self-help books to each other. Sharing stuff you think is awesome and kicking around projects are both great examples of bettering each other. Gossiping about celebrities or talking about that new World of Warcraft expansion pack are not.

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