I'm a 99% introvert, with an EQ of 42. This post really fails to account for outliers; sometimes people are simply far out of line with respect to the average.
You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
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Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#12What? What was with the Eventbrite 'brogrammer' paragraph? You seem to say that 'marrying' social life and technology is a bad thing, but it's the segue into her (apparent) use of user groups and networking to further her career. Also: Bottom line: If the main topic of conversation you have with your friends is not how you can better yourself, you need to get new friends. Uh. No. If you drop universal statements like…
What is a brogrammer, anyway? I am imagining something like the Cheezburger "Bro" site, but sitting at a computer??
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#13Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hi, yeah this is a true story and it is about me. Ask me anything.
Great! 1) Maybe "having a mission" would be the best approach at throwing yourself against the wall over and over again, but I'd like to know if that was the thing that motivated you not to stop learning. Never did the thought "ok, maybe I'm not cut for this" cross your mind? 2) You learned chinese during that time? How proficient are you in that language? Did you do it on your own or did you take classes? 3) Any tim…
1) You are right, having a mission definitely kept me on track. It also gave me peace. The moment I decided to start learning about technology, I felt confidence. I knew that one day I will leave the mediocre jobs and be part of this new field. This thought alone gave me confidence when I went to job interviews. During the interview with Genentech I remember thinking about some html code that I just learned and how I want to go home and learn more. Having an alternative made me a more confident job candidate.
My hobby is learning foreign languages, I like learning something new every day. So when I noticed that this is part of every tech position, I decided that it is closer to what I need, even if it is not the perfect match.
I did question whether I am cut out for this many times, but I had nothing to lose. If I was coming from a career field that I loved I might have felt otherwise.
2) I was learning Chinese at the end of the day to compensate for not learning anything at work. I was studying on my own, mainly with Rosetta Stone and grammar books. It was an on and off process and I did feel burned out sometimes. Recently I had lost motivation, especially since I am much happier at work. So I joined my first Mandarin class to get a new direction and see where I am. It is intermediate level and everyone in the class is much better than me, because they have lived in China for 1 year. So I have a lot to learn still but I would say that during the first nine months I laid a pretty good foundation.
3) I am not good with time management myself, which is why it took me so long to enter this field. I find the study groups I attend very helpful with this. Check out meetup.com for your area and search for a topic of interest. Find the right study group which will allow you to learn on your pace, yet require your dedication. When you are surrounded with people who are also on a mission, it motivates you. Even better if you share the same mission.
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#14My close friends all moved away after I graduated college two years ago... am I a nothing person because I'm not a socialite like Jane?
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#15I'm a 99% introvert, with an EQ of 42. This post really fails to account for outliers; sometimes people are simply far out of line with respect to the average.
hello there fellow intovert. quick question, where did you measure your EQ?
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#16I've been in technology for 15 years. In that time I went from QA to networking/IT to independent software development. Along the way I learned how to run a business, optimize my websites for search engines, create persuasive marketing copy, and a lot more. With each new skill I acquired, I have one or more friends who I attribute to helping me along the way. I could not have done it without them.
You definitely are the company you keep, both in your friends as well as with your spouse/significant other.
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#17Somewhat misleading headline I think given the content of the article but still a valid point. My question to you folks out there is this: I came across this statement sometime back and realized I need to change my friends if I am to better my situation. My friends, while good people, are not goal oriented and have for all intents and purposes given up. The people who I'd like to hang out with and who can help me grow reject me most of the time (they perhaps intuitively have internalized this wisdom and don't want me contributing to their average since they are at a better place than me currently). What are some practical ways to upgrade your friends especially if you are highly introverted?
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#18I'm a 99% introvert, with an EQ of 42. This post really fails to account for outliers; sometimes people are simply far out of line with respect to the average.
hello there fellow intovert. quick question, where did you measure your EQ?
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=empathy+quotient+test
Click the guardian one.
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#19"Bottom line: If the main topic of conversation you have with your friends is not how you can better yourself, you need to get new friends." Thanks, but I'm happy with the friends I have and with the kind of conversations we have. If your friends love talking about "how you can better yourself," then fair enough -- whatever works for you. On the other hand, if your friends love talking about the things they do, inter…
That sentence stuck out at me also. "Bottom line:..." It came off too patronizing. I mean, why does the main topic of conversation have to be about self-improvement? I think sometimes it's beneficial to have a discussion about arbitrary topics that have no correlation with your everyday life.
About the discussing celebrities issue. I myself have no qualms about it. For me a typical conversation could go as follows: "celebrity_x just created this new application_y and is trying to change industry_Z..." Then we would continue discussing ideas about a web application we could build.
Honestly, sometimes just talking about someone that recently created a new application motivates me to code.
Re: You Are the Average of Your Five Closest Friends
#20This advice is far from universal, though it's an interesting insight into the author's perspective on friends. If you are the type of person who would rather take your own advice, regardless of whom you have frequent social interactions with, then your close friends (however many you have, five is not necessary) are more than likely going to be people who accept the fact that they do not control your life. That doesn't mean that they are not your friends. It just means you don't use your "friends" as bars with which you are constantly trying to get above. Friends are people who you choose to be with, for whatever reason. So if you have the need to constantly feel like shit by having your friends tell you how much your life sucks in order to feel motivated enough to take action for yourself, than this advice is for you. But many people would rather not hang their life's course on the words of their five closest friends. Not to say I'm not impressed by "Jane's" achievements, because that sounds like a hell of a lot of dedication!