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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#231

Post by warning26 »

zozbot234 wrote: post #180
DoingIsLearning wrote: post #68

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

> One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. As Robert Putnam said it, we're literally 'Bowling Alone'. "Dates" are a band-aid, their only positive is they avoid the alternative of universal inceldom.

> Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur.

Yet another unfortunate output of the US's completely broken focus on cars. Cars require intentionality -- there's no room for spontaneous interactions when you have to choose your destination and then spend 10min driving there.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#232

Post by vel0city »

zeroonetwothree wrote: post #44

I’ve only been on maybe three “dates” ever. Somehow I got married though. So apparently it’s not the only way to do it.

Do you not go on "dates" with your spouse?

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/date

date: 4a an appointment to meet at a specified time especially a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character

Do you really not have appointments with your spouse which are of a romantic character? I would highly recommend it.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#233

Post by oneoff786 »

necessary wrote: post #33
yur3i__ wrote: post #25

I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.

Honestly there's not much to worry about a "skill-gap" either. It's cliche but being the true and authentic version of yourself (and being self-aware if you need to make improvements on that version of yourself - your authentic self can't be a jerk) is the best way to make both friends and romantic partners. Maybe it's different for hookups, but IMHO romantic relationships don't work like they do in the movies.

I think there’s an enormous skill gap. Not the dumb hookup artist skill tree, but the basic social skills and empathy one.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#234

Post by oneoff786 »

Broken_Hippo wrote: post #79
oneoff786 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How is going out to dinner with your steady partner not the most unambiguous example of a date?

I've gone out to dinner with my mother and long-term friends, but I'm not dating any of them. Sometimes eating is just eating.

Emphasis on with your steady partner

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#235

Post by ParksNet »

zozbot234 wrote: post #180
DoingIsLearning wrote: post #68

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

> One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. Modern America, by and large, does not have the shared spaces and sense of community where these interactions could occur. As Robert Putnam said it, we're literally 'Bowling Alone'. "Dates" are a band-aid, their only positive is they avoid the alternative of universal inceldom.

Modern America does: they're called Bars, Nightclubs, Saloons, HonkyTonks, Festivals, Beaches. I met my wife at a Meetup for 20-somethings hosted at a Brewery (Bar).

I'm from Australia, and meeting women at these venues in America is much easier than in my home country - large Australians cities have such a huge influx of young Indian male migrants, that the gender ratios at many of these venues are inequitable.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#236

Post by treis »

zozbot234 wrote: post #217
charlie0 wrote: post #211

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. I've traveled to South America and without exception, there was always at least a town square or something similar where people can congregate. Many times there are music events or other types of festivities on the weekends and cheap vendors with wares or selling a quick bite of food. In this type of environment, it's a lot easier to say hello and even chat with strangers. Kids can go play with other kids. It's…

In America, congregating in a public place for no outwardly visible purpose is called "loitering" and comes with a built-in assumption that you must be up to no good somehow. The signs of a thoroughly broken society.

This is ridiculous. Parks in my city are full of people just hanging out.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#237

Post by zdragnar »

sbf501 wrote: post #177
doliveira wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, it wasn't that subtle, but yeah, subtle enough just for distraction. I don't know how the situation is in the USA, but in Brazil we have the myth of mothers having 10 children just to get more money for each child.

Similar. It is very common to hear the right side of US politics claim poor minority women have multiple children just to get "free stuff" from the government, yet the same folks also want to make abortion illegal. Some people even claim the government will pay for your child if you are completely poor. The lies are astonishing, but the racism is necessary for their populist political message to work.

I once had a man try to sell me his food stamps at a grocery store while his little kid was running up and down the aisle. He was the second person that day who tried to sell me his stamps (both offered roughly $100 worth for $80 cash, iirc).

I'm not against food stamps at all, and at one point came close to being on them myself. I don't judge people for needing assistance. When you see such flagrant abuses of the system, however, it tends to burn a little empathy out of you.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#238

Post by willcipriano »

doliveira wrote: post #158
sbf501 wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You get the award for most subtle attempt at rephrasing the "welfare queen" myth I've heard in a few years.

I mean, it wasn't that subtle, but yeah, subtle enough just for distraction. I don't know how the situation is in the USA, but in Brazil we have the myth of mothers having 10 children just to get more money for each child.

Some other people making claims shouldn't impact mine. At no point did I say that this was some sort of welfare scam. In fact my view elevates poor people from people who couldn't make it work within our society to people who may have looked at the options available to them and made a choice that has some logic behind it.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#239

Post by rmetzler »

zeroonetwothree wrote: post #44

I’ve only been on maybe three “dates” ever. Somehow I got married though. So apparently it’s not the only way to do it.

I‘m with the same woman for more than 20 years, we have a daughter who is turning 10 years old soon. We’re not married though.

Are we still „dating“?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#240

Post by rasz »

kstenerud wrote: post #116
DoingIsLearning wrote: post #68

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

It is a big part of Japanese culture, so the findings in the article are significant.

so is Christmas kfc
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