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Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

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Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#181
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The government and the media keep freaking out about birth rate declining but made no attempts in fixing the poor working conditions in Japan. I think the next century revelation will be that you should focus on individual growth rather than population growth. In our tech-oriented economy, it matters more that you have quality technology rather than quantitative production. > Who wants to date, marry, or have kids…

I am from Africa, that is changing. I dare say it has already changed. I know maybe 2 people under 50 who have more than 2 kids. Almost every first-time mother has a family plan created for her with the help of health care professionals.

Africa is big -and not a country- (where I am from, we are actually going the modern-world ageing way, even though it's still under-developed); so an anecdote-approach is not appropriate.

The biggest country in Africa is still showing high birth rates: https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/nigeria-popul... Although it's slightly declining, but still a long way from reducing population sizes.

Niger for example is population-booming: https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/niger-populat...

All of Africa: https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/africa-popula...

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#182
post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mens value in the dating marketplace goes up over time. If you are relatively sane, sober and employed around 28, mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock. Keep your head up, it's going to get easier from here on out.

> mother nature helps you out with her biological alarm clock Which can also be another can of worms. I'm single, in my mid-late 30s, and a lot of the women I encounter of compatible age seem to want kids yesterday, and that kind of rush doesn't work well for establishing a healthy relationship.

Random thought. I wonder if there's any generalized correlation in personality traits and being single/childless at that age as a woman. For example, are there higher levels of procrastinators or are they more A-type and career oriented? Etc

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#183

I wish they would define what a date is. Does it mean virgin or at least someone who has had sex without paying for it? It also looks like in their culture you can be romantically involved without being sexually involved - are they saying 40% of younger men have never had a relationship?

[deleted]

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#184
post #51
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aren't the Japanese big on "mixers" where you get equal numbers of guys and gals together for dinner/drinks - and a date would only be if you hit it off at one? Of course there are other ways to get a date, but I suspect they have a pretty defined meaning for it.

The original whitepaper uses the term デート (transliteration of English "date") for the data, and I've understood the Japanese to consider that different from a mixer (合コン), and that a "date" is a one-on-one activity/outing with someone you're romantically interested in.

I live in Japan and this is pretty accurate, a date and a goukon are def different things/concepts.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, I am completely onboard with this tradition. I think of it as the 'tape' analogy. If you stick tape many times, each subsequent stick is less firm. Same with relationships. You bring increasing amounts of baggage, all of your "firsts" have already been done, and you have a loose bond to your partner.

This is a bullshit theory with zero evidence or science behind it. I’m on my second marriage now, am about as far from a virgin as the earth is from the sun, and I’m as happy as can be and utterly devoted to and blissfully in love with my wife. Listen, I know you’re probably having difficulty finding a romantic relationship and I know how demoralizing and depressing that can be. I’ve been there - my teens and twentie…

>This is a bullshit theory with zero evidence or science behind it.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-li...

https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marita...

>And last, but not least, don’t settle!

This is horrible advice. You have minimal requirements and fill in the remainder by being human and growing together. "Don't settle" is exactly how people continue to monkey branch to new partners ever higher.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

These are fairly different arguments. Japan's working hours are traditionally brutal - 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. Plus mandatory "happy" hours. It's often a financially comfortable life; but there's 0 flexibility to find an employer that allows a 9-5 workday, even if you're willing to take a pay cut. Elon is saying that high-paid professionals in the US have fewer children than the lower-middle class, which is…

> Doctors, lawyers, and engineers are far below replacement fertility. If you really want a "fun" way to look at it, find an IQ vs. fertility rate chart. Only IQs of 80 and lower are above replacement.

Idiocracy: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#188
Is US-style dating part of their culture? In the 80's and 90's I dated a few women from countries in Europe and they all thought the 1-on-1 date thing was weird, telling me that people usually go out in groups, and then pair off over time. I won't go into detail, but the relative intimacy of various sex acts was also out of order from what the US expects based on what they told me.

Today, I have three friends with sons in their late 20's, and NONE of the boys have ever had what my generation would call a "steady" girlfriend, e.g., >6 months. I find that bizarre, but I'm old. Culture changes.

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#189

Controversial opinion: The concept of a 'date' is an american romantic film import for a lot of other cultures. If I go back 10 years in my home country any woman would shut down your conversation if you asked her on a _one-on-one_ 'date', the implication alone would question her 'virtue'/intentions. One-on-one interaction would naturally occur as the casual hanging out with shared groups of friends or parties. I hon…

Dating in the west almost feels like an interview these days, at least in the Bay Area. “So where do you see yourself in 5-10 years”? What’s next, you going to ask me to invert a binary tree?

Re: Many single Japanese people in their 20s have never been on a date – survey

#190
post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

JP governments are exploring drastic options to incentivize people settling down and having kids. Tokyo is considering 100k JPY per year per kid. I’d say that looks like the government version of “freaking out”. Approx ~10k~ 1k USD per year is ~probably~ deffo not going to be enough, though.

>100k JPY per year per kid >Approx 10k USD per year 100k JPY is 742 dollars. Which of the two numbers did you fuddle?

Whoops, screwed that up.
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