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Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

thoughtscollected.tech

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Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#151

Post by yeetsfromhellL2 »

sumy23 wrote: post #142
tbran wrote: post #132

Check out Get Your Shit Together [0]. It was started by a woman who lost her husband in an accident, suddenly becoming a widow and single mom to two young children. She has abridged [1] and long checklists [2] that everyone should complete. Most of us probably don't even think about these things: - will - power of attorney (in varying forms) - what happens to pets - what happens to kids - money - burial/funeral wishe…

Any competent estate attorney will do this for you.

Key word: ESTATE attorney. Preferably belonging to a large and well respected firm. Don't get just any attorney willing to do it, they won't be equipped for it and shit will go wrong, and things going wrong in the legal world is potentially catastrophic. For you, your family and anyone within a 1000 feet of you.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#152

Post by kingcharles »

petercooper wrote: post #94

Also consider what happens if someone is incapacitated but not dead. Getting into email, bank, etc. is one thing, but what if you own property with someone who is suddenly and irreversibly brain damaged? I strongly recommend filing a lasting power of attorney in advance if your risk of this is non-negligible. My mother is living a nightmare due to it right now as she assumed being someone's spouse would let you take…

Not just incapacitated, but also unable to reasonably communicate. I was suddenly and unexpectedly thrown into jail. How do you communicate all of this information to people on the outside? Especially as your communications are monitored at all times, so reading out logins over the phone can be very detrimental.

I lost all but one of the hundreds of domains I owned, 10 years of email, and of the thousands of online accounts I had when I was locked up, only about 3 were accessible after I got out due to changes in security policies or email addresses (I'm looking at you Gmail) that I could no longer log into despite having the username and password.

This problem is only going to get worse as more sites, sensibly, require MFA. As long as you are compos mentis and have physical access to your devices everything is grand, but once that breaks down, you (or your loved ones) might be screwed.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#153

Post by yeetsfromhellL2 »

petercooper wrote: post #94

Also consider what happens if someone is incapacitated but not dead. Getting into email, bank, etc. is one thing, but what if you own property with someone who is suddenly and irreversibly brain damaged? I strongly recommend filing a lasting power of attorney in advance if your risk of this is non-negligible. My mother is living a nightmare due to it right now as she assumed being someone's spouse would let you take…

I won't go into details but I'm dealing with a somewhat similar situation. If you love your family and want them to make decisions for you when you're incapacitated instead of strangers who will likely be trying to take advantage of the situation, GET AN ESTATE ATTORNEY. One at a large and respected firm with a solid track record. You will be making a minuscule investment compared to the cost of things going sideways. So much trouble for you and your family will be saved during an already difficult time.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#154

Post by LinuxBender »

petercooper wrote: post #94

Also consider what happens if someone is incapacitated but not dead. Getting into email, bank, etc. is one thing, but what if you own property with someone who is suddenly and irreversibly brain damaged? I strongly recommend filing a lasting power of attorney in advance if your risk of this is non-negligible. My mother is living a nightmare due to it right now as she assumed being someone's spouse would let you take…

I can only speak for people in the United States of America but another option is a living trust. This avoids giving power of attorney until a medical professional has declared one unable to consent. The document can have well thought out instructions created far in advance detailing who has what powers and what properties/items may be transferred in advance of and/or upon ones mortality. This avoids some family drama when people make sub-optimal decisions. A living trust can mitigate some of the drama and legal battles. Assigning trust managers can also mean there are people looking out for you and/or family members when you are incapacitated, limiting how much money is paid to whom at what intervals typically limited to a number of years after your passing. A lawyer can walk one through the most common issues specific to them and ensure it is in the legal documents. This is also a good way to protect properties and bank accounts but that is a whole topic in and of itself.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#156

Post by bombcar »

hellofelicia wrote: post #124
theshrike79 wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is something you should bring up with your bank. In Finland if you have a joint account with your spouse there is a difference if the account is listed as "X and Y" vs "X or Y". In the first case the account is inaccessible for a fair bit of time if either X or Y dies. In the latter case both can always access it. My partner's aunt got hit by this when her husband was 100% incapacitated and hospitalized. She cou…

I’m in Finland as well and have never heard of it! Would you mind sharing the Finnish names for these types of accounts?

One of the terms I've seen in the US is "Joint Tenants With Right of Survivorship (JTWROS)" but check the details.

It's much rarer now because checks are basically gone, but you used to be able to get accounts that would require both signatures on the check, not just one.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#157

Post by omazurov »

wohfab wrote: post #123
fareesh wrote: post #83

Whenever I think of this problem I figure it would be best to have a key that you split into N parts and give it to N people you trust. That way if you're gone they come together and unlock it. More secure because if any of them is individually compromised, your information is still safe.

That also means higher risk of failure, doesn't it? If just one of the N people isn't able to attend for whatever reason, your stuff is gone for good. If I give the key to my spouse, they can just use it. If I give it to 5 people, chance, one of those is unreachable when I'm gone, is 5 times as high.

That's why there should be another parameter: you should split the key into N parts so that any M <= N can open the lock. You can increase M adding people you don't trust 100%, say to 8, but leave N at your comfortable level, 5. Even if those 3 conspire, they would still be 2 people short of being able to break the lock. You can do 12:5, give 5 parts to your spouse and spread the remaining 7 among your relatives and friends. There will still be a single point of failure, though, if somebody steals all 5 parts from him/her. You can decide to decrease allocation to only 4 parts so that your spouse would need to cooperate with any of the other trusted parties. The point is there is enough room for designing a scheme that is both secure and reliable.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#159

Post by bombcar »

kingcharles wrote: post #152
petercooper wrote: post #94

Also consider what happens if someone is incapacitated but not dead. Getting into email, bank, etc. is one thing, but what if you own property with someone who is suddenly and irreversibly brain damaged? I strongly recommend filing a lasting power of attorney in advance if your risk of this is non-negligible. My mother is living a nightmare due to it right now as she assumed being someone's spouse would let you take…

Not just incapacitated, but also unable to reasonably communicate. I was suddenly and unexpectedly thrown into jail. How do you communicate all of this information to people on the outside? Especially as your communications are monitored at all times, so reading out logins over the phone can be very detrimental. I lost all but one of the hundreds of domains I owned, 10 years of email, and of the thousands of online a…

It's likely that there's no real way to solve this without a trusted associate, but it has to be an associate you'd literally trust with everything in your life.

Then you can give them access to 1Password or similar in some way.

Re: Cheat sheet for if I'm gone

#160

Post by [deleted] »

protonbob wrote: post #126
hnhn wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most valuable comment on here so far. Fundamentally, the OP isn't faced with a tech problem. People need to start with greater awareness of power of attorney, wills, and probate. In a probate situation, your loved ones don't have to know all your passwords and so on. They do need to know where your assets are so they can contact the right organisations to claim them. And you can make that process easier for them by a…

I agree that this isn't a tech problem. The only part that the tech is for is for having feedback on the document. It is meant to be printed out and not stored online. There is a spot on the document for a power of attorney in fact.

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