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Not so surprising, as someone who was recently in their 20s. Dating is old fashioned and very consumeristic/wealth oriented. I've also never been on a date, because my social strata only goes out to party, not to eat at expensive restaurants with dress codes and shit, or theaters with $20 popcorn. We have kitchens and netflix.
Not so surprising, as someone who was recently in their 20s. Dating is old fashioned and very consumeristic/wealth oriented. I've also never been on a date, because my social strata only goes out to party, not to eat at expensive restaurants with dress codes and shit, or theaters with $20 popcorn. We have kitchens and netflix.
Things that I have done that I don't consider a date:
- meeting up at a friends' house while both knowing the other would be there, then leaving together afterwards (not 1:1)
- just meeting up after class/work and spending the evening together (not an event)
- accompanying each other to some mutual friend's event (concert/dj gig, party, theatre show) (not 1:1)
- going to the movies with a friend because her boyfriend wasn't into horror, but I was (1:1, and an event, but no romantic intent)
- inviting each other over for game/movie nights with friends (not 1:1)
- making plans together (e.g. for music festivals, concerts, sports events) and inviting friends along for added fun (not 1:1)
- going out for dinner together while we're already going steady (strictly speaking it's a date, but not in the context of "dating")
Not so surprising, as someone who was recently in their 20s. Dating is old fashioned and very consumeristic/wealth oriented. I've also never been on a date, because my social strata only goes out to party, not to eat at expensive restaurants with dress codes and shit, or theaters with $20 popcorn. We have kitchens and netflix.
Well, that’s just like your opinion man. Some of the best dates I have been on have been dinner at home, picnic in a park or at the beach, hiking, etc. Just do not attract people looking to relationships to fill their financial needs.
I don’t know that much about Japan, so forgive me, but I was under the impression that in Japan there was a lot of shame attached to sex, and sexuality. Could the view on sex, particularly casual sex, impact dating?
On top, shyness and saving face run rampant. The former makes it so men don't approach all that often, the latter makes it so they often miss when a woman does the approach but does it in a way she can still save face, often leading to misreading intents.
To put it in perspective, Japanese women tend to approach men more often than in the US, if I have to believe anecdotes. You wouldn't expect that from a culture "shaming" sexuality all-around versus a culture which openly applauds sexuality at every corner.
I don’t know that much about Japan, so forgive me, but I was under the impression that in Japan there was a lot of shame attached to sex, and sexuality. Could the view on sex, particularly casual sex, impact dating?
I’d actually take the opposite approach—-keep sex as something within a committed relationship/marriage, and keep dating as something with purposeful intent for finding such a partner. What may be missing, though, is a sense of connection with one’s neighbors.
I wish they would define what a date is. Does it mean virgin or at least someone who has had sex without paying for it? It also looks like in their culture you can be romantically involved without being sexually involved - are they saying 40% of younger men have never had a relationship?
They mention later that Japanese culture is more group-social than, presumably, the author's culture, and perhaps couples can have spent a lot of time together before calling it a date.
I don’t know that much about Japan, so forgive me, but I was under the impression that in Japan there was a lot of shame attached to sex, and sexuality. Could the view on sex, particularly casual sex, impact dating?
What appears to be breaking down in the developed world that pushed young people to form couples. Historically, many people have relied on parents, churches, etc., to introduce them. Today it’s more of a free market.
I don’t know that much about Japan, so forgive me, but I was under the impression that in Japan there was a lot of shame attached to sex, and sexuality. Could the view on sex, particularly casual sex, impact dating?
It's possible that if they made sex more taboo then, at least teenagers would seek it out more as a way to break the rules. On the other hand they as a culture tend to follow rules more than in the "west". So maybe it would be a wash.
Some cultures practice "Bundling" to get older kids to experiment.
I'm 22 and have never been on a date or anything resembling one. I'm not too worried about it, though the potential "skill gap" (for lack of a better word) with future partners does concern me a bit I have to admit.