I'm a serious but hobbyist player with ~15k hands last month. The thinking like a poker player is mostly about being upfront about your risk tolerances and then having a culture supporting people who make the best risk adjusted decision, even if it doesn't work out. Expected Value is complicated because a 50% chance for $100 is the same as a 10% chance at $1000. It's the variance, not the EV that makes a lot of decis…
Poker players use “pot odds”. The odds of winning a hand with a future card in order to estimate the call's expected value.
If you have not yet made your hand (e.g. only 4 spades) then you consider your drawing odds, which is the chance of making your hand.
But say there is a pair on the board. Then you need to consider the probability that your opponent has or will make a full house, which would beat your flush if you were to hit. Likewise the probability that someone will have a higher flush than you.
Analyzing this in aggregate is what gives you the expected value, which is what poker players consider.
If you are simply playing a cash game with unlimited buy-ins. Then assuming your overall bankroll is sufficient, you will always make plays with positive expected value, even with high variance, because it is a continuous game and you expect the total return to be positive over sufficient iterations.
If you are playing a tournament with a set number of places in the money, then you need to take into account the variance as well as the expected return because it is an episodic game and the types of plays you will make will depend on not just expected value of the single play but what place you are in currently and the number of players left.