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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#181
Lots of good advice already, specifically taking breaks/a break, cutting back hours and therapy. Burnout is serious stuff.

Reading your post, I get the sense that you're stuck in the tension between not feeling competent enough yet wanting to "earn a good amount of money".

Maybe you're not the 200-500k/year superstar programmer, but you're definitely competent enough, holding your startup's stack together like you are doing, to earn a comfortable living programming. What are your salary expectations? How much would be a "good amount"?

If you think about what you really need to be happy, how much salary would be enough?

Maybe the difference between "a good amount" and "enough" can help reduce that tension once you realize that you don't need to have a rock-star salary to be happy?

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#182
1: First off, tell them you're thinking of changing work. If they even hint at you being "too bad to get another job" they're gaslighting you and you should run, if they offer a raise then it's probably half the raise you deserve. Because if you're the only web/mobile developer at this startup you're probably doing a helluva job.

2: Don't work 70-80 h/weeks, I've only done so at special times since my early career, and when I've done so after then I've been getting paid by the hour.

3: That brain-fog probably comes from the overworking, you're not going to be making clever decisions at that state. You really probably need some months off to get to a better state (the magic thing is, when it clears you'll brain will start to itch with amazing stuff).

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is literally the logic of capitalism. Your value is simply whatever value you are able to negotiate for yourself on the job market. OP is more valuable than a toilet cleaner, or a starbucks barista, less valuable than a corporate lawyer or a CEO. People naturally "compare up" rather than "compare down". Sure OP is probably in the 1% wealthiest people in the world, or top 99.9999% of those who ever lived, but rat…

> OP is more valuable than a toilet cleaner, or a starbucks barista Not to kill your point, but those two are dramatically under-valued and under-appreciated jobs in most societies around the world. Every time you use a toilet (other than the one in your home) which is hopefully clean, somebody had cleaned it recently. Imagine they hadn't. You'd have a terrible day. Every time you go grab a good Starbucks coffee. May…

My take: payment is not based on created value, but on competition for the job. The more competition, the lower the salary an employer can get away with.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#184
My advice might be a bit odd but... Find a hobby and get obsessed with it. Let that obsession cut into your work time until you reach a normal level (closer to 40 hours). Ideally, it's a hobby where you can "advance".

If you are in reasonable (not necessarily great) physical shape I suggest going to a bouldering gym (assuming there's one nearby). It's a fairly addictive sport that's easy to get into and easy to do on your own. A nice bonus is that there's built in gamification. Each session you can work on a single route or you can set a goal to do all routes of level X in the gym and work towards that over a period of time. As long as you just do it, you'll improve until you plateau eventually and by that time you'll be able to grind hard/train well and get better on your own.

If sport isn't your thing, maybe try writing. Pick any genre you like but thriller works quite well and almost everyone likes thrillers at least a bit. Obsess over "how to write" and how a thriller is structured. Reads books about that, start structuring a story, watch movies in "analysis mode" (a good starting point for analytical people is reading "The Story Grid").

Or maybe branch out into a slightly different area still related to your job. Maybe turn infosec into your new obsessive hobby. Sign up to hackthebox.io or something similar and try to get really good at breaking into boxes (or play CTFs).

As long as there's a way to get better at the hobby (climb harder routes, write more pages of your book, be able to break into harder boxes) and a reasonably easy way of understanding how to get there and a way to obsess over it and pour countless hours into it, the hobby qualifies. Even something like playing online chess could qualify. The main idea is to shift time from work towards this hobby and wanting to do it. Ideally the hobby rewards you regularly along the way (some measurable level of success).

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#185
If you have the energy to work 80 hours while being payed 40 hours, that sounds great, work 40 hours and do leetcode in the remaining 40 hours. Don’t expect results so fast, you will have them over time as long as you don’t destroy your day by overworking. Practice saying no to your management team.

I’ve got great results on programming competitions, but I was only doing only leetcode style problems for 5 years in my free time (while others were having fun dating…I wish I did that instead when I was young).

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#186
post #11

You think you wasted your twenties? When I was your age I was cleaning window blinds and dropping out of college, and I was yet to waste 4 years as a massage therapist. Got my first real job at 32. Now I’m almost fifty and finally enjoying life. All this to say there’s so much life ahead of you and it can take you a million places if you let it.

Yeah, this person is probably under-paid and definitely over-worked, but having 4 years of full-time employment in tech at age 28 is a good position to negotiate from for a better job.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#187
So sorry to hear your story, in some ways I can relate. Others have already given great advices, I don’t have to repeat them by myself. Just one specific thing regarding the “brain fog” you mentioned: check your vitamin, iron, and ferritin levels in your blood. And, of course, rest more, apparently you are holding a company on your single shoulders, you can say no from time to time.

Wishing you all the best and good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#188
A lot of negative self talk that I think you should work on improving. Try CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) - you can do a lot of it by yourself

>Unfortunately, I have never been a rockstar programmer

>I've already wasted my entire teens and 20s

>a bigger loser for not being able to solve problems

Those are all biased opinions. You can take a break from work, but by itself this will not change the way you think

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#189
Ignore leetcode style algorithmic issues for now.

It sounds like you need to concentrate on the basics to get comfortable starting from zero and building from scratch. No shame in using libraries for complex algorithms (e.g. sorting or whatever), but getting comfortable starting with fundamentals is key

I recommend finding an online MOOC uni/college compsci 101 type thing to teach you the basics of how to code in a structured way. It will lead you through how to actually breakdown and solve programming issues in a guided way. From there you can grow.

You'll need to ease back the work hours to fit it in, but that will be good for you anyway!

Good luck

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#190
post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> OP is more valuable than a toilet cleaner, or a starbucks barista Not to kill your point, but those two are dramatically under-valued and under-appreciated jobs in most societies around the world. Every time you use a toilet (other than the one in your home) which is hopefully clean, somebody had cleaned it recently. Imagine they hadn't. You'd have a terrible day. Every time you go grab a good Starbucks coffee. May…

My take: payment is not based on created value, but on competition for the job. The more competition, the lower the salary an employer can get away with.

> My take: payment is not based on created value, but on competition for the job. The more competition, the lower the salary an employer can get away with.

And yet, for the past two years, just about every store you'll ever go to has a 'Sorry, we're shortstaffed' sign in the window.

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