I've felt very much in limbo for a few years. I'm facing some one-way doors about where I want to spend the next chapter/decade of my life. My reaction is mostly of fear. Move back to my home country where my friends and family are. I only really like the lifestyle of the downtown core of a single city there. I'd give up permanent residency to the U.S. Pay cut would be to 1/3rd my current salary with a similar cost o…
try for 3 months and come back. if you are happier there stay there.
I did try this. "happy" is complicated for me. I'm perhaps pricing in too much of the future into this decision, but it's pretty life-constraining over the longer term so I think less about the day-to-day and more about future.
Just wish I had more time off. Got a lot of vacation days. But our team is so small that taking the time off makes me feel guilty. Conversely, if I don't have at least 4 days off in a row I don't know how to just relax and not try to do work. I don't enjoy watching movies or TV anymore cause all I can think about is the fact that I'm not being productive. I haven't gone to the movies since 2019 (since COVID) and I've…
If nothing else, consider that the burn-out is a real thing. If you can't rest, schedule it. Don't allow any work at the scheduled time.
Pretty demotivated, working only lightly but still on the verge of burnout. Currently upgrading and older Rails 5 project to Rails 7. The Ruby part is okay, but guess what, dealing with JS sucks in a new, different way. Again. Really looking forward to the summer though, I got an inflatable kayak (my first boat ever) and so far it's been a blast.
Keep going, it's going to be okay. The blind 75 is your best shot for quick results: https://leetcode.com/discuss/general-discussion/460599/blind... You can skip dynamic programming unless you're planning on tackling Google
Thanks... I'm doing exactly that! I'm depressed at the fact that I don't enjoy leetcode but for job security, it must go on.. Maybe I'm not cut out for SDE? not sure...
It's common to feel this way[1] while grinding leetcode. It's not common software engineering practice and so it's largely uncomfortable. The leetcode questions you pass in the interview you won't see on the job. Leetcode is primarily FAANG practice but has been adopted as a form of cargo culting by everyone else. It's like a form of fraternity or sorority hazing.
It’s been a rough year for me. Was burnt out from working 70 hours a week at a small startup so I decided to start interviewing. Hit my head and had severe concussion symptoms for about four months. It was extremely difficult to manage work and still try to prep for interviews. Kept putting them off til January. Those several months were really crappy and I missed out on a lot of nice things planned with friends and…
You must be very disoriented. If I were you wouldn't even come to hacker news but you did. You are already doing well. Hope you pull through this.
Thank you for the kind words. I saw your post that you're not doing well, and I'm sorry for that. I recently did the leetcode grind so I can empathize with that to some degree. It was a lot of misery for several months for me before it started clicking. Keeping track of my progress in an excel sheet made me feel better too. I could see how many problems I'd done and I could compare my stats to the past to demonstrate my progress. Best of luck with that and everything else in your life. Let me know if you want any more specific help/advice with the leetcode!
Not great. A bit more than two years ago my wife went back home to Japan to give birth to our daughter. Then covid hit and her stay there was prolonged. At some point she decided she'd rather stay there permanently. I accepted that she wasn't going to change her mind, so I started doing everything I can to prepare for a variety of possible futures: - Learning web development to transition from my current career as a…
As someone who lived in a bunch of countries with and without English or my native language (Dutch); I would say; just try it. There are many places where you won’t mesh with the locals generally; I was in hk and Shanghai for years and social life was great but, even though there were some native colleagues who wanted to hang out, most social life and including some new friends were expats. I had the same experience in some countries here in the eu where I lived. The language barrier isn’t really the problem in my experience; often times it is the incredibly culture shock that you (or maybe them) won’t get over anyway and if you accept that, it will be fine. Like someone else said; you can always move back; people take things so ‘final’ for some reason. See where time takes you and your new young family over the coming 5-15 years. Maybe after that time your wife is ready to move again with your kid(s). Life is short but by the sound of it, you have 70-80 years left; start with the coming 5 and go from there.
The current chapter is coming to an end. It will get messy, and it will be expensive. The next chapter will be different (solo), in another environment. I've stopped caring about money (or running out, at least). Whatever will be, will be. Not OK, but I'm OK with not being OK…for now, anyway.
I have suffered from OCD since I was 21. Intrusive thoughts, fears of harming others or having harmed others, and what's sometimes called r-ocd or "relationship ocd". Mostly everything fell under the category known as "pure o" or OCD without visible external compulsions. I went to multiple psychologists, tried talk therapy, tried SSRIs, and while there were modest improvements here and there, my life continued to be…
I haven't tried, but I always imagined that my house isn't very attractive to flippers or investors, because it's a condo. The HoA disallows its use as a rental in the covenant, and any serious improvements need to be done by a licensed contractor and permitted (my bathroom remodel took probably a year longer to get started because we had to submit plans with the city with an architect to do some retiling). Near ever…
If you're living in it, it's ready to move in. Unsure what market you're in, you may be surprised at what state of things people are buying due to the high demand and "lack of supply".
Well, I doubt you'd be looking back at this thread at this point, but you're probably right. There are at least a few little things I'd need to get in order, plus some cleaning, but maybe I can get this done sooner.