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Poll: How are you doing currently?

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Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#181

Post by SoftTalker »

stellateganglia wrote: post #165
DougN7 wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have what you have, but voted a little sad. So much is based on our outlook and attitude. I wish I could figure out how to acquire your attitude. Good luck continuing forward :)

Absolutely true. I am prone to having this pervasive sense of sadness and numbness become part of my identity. My friend, on the other hand, always responds to "how are you doing?" with "I'm on top of the world!" To some extent, we can train our minds to be positive.

Some people say that's how you should aways answer. Someone asks "how are you" and you should answer "fantastic!" or something similar.

You say it and you will start to feel it, so the theory goes.

I'm not sure it works. I usually say "I'm good, how are you?" and I think the over-the-top replies sound phony, but I haven't really tried it.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#182

Post by otikik »

uxp100 wrote: post #129
skrebbel wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's extremely scary that in the world's richest country, writing stuff about schools like "we don't have metal doors", "our barricade procedure" and "stopping power for bullets" is considered perfectly normal. I was reading your comment and I just WTF'ed 5 times in a row. As a European, it's hard to wrap my mind around how simultaneously awesome and terrible the US has become. I feel terrible for you, and I'…

This is not so alien to Europe as you seem to think. Over the past 20 years, more people per capita have died in school shootings in Germany than in the US. A European nation was in a similar situation very recently. What is maybe unique about the US is that nothing will be done, where as Germany added additional gun control laws, and probably will not ever have as deadly a decade for schools as the 2000s again. I'm…

It is not “books are expensive”-dystopian.

It’s “My cousin who is studying video editing through YouTube because college was too expensive is helping us make a video for my daughter’s Gofunme cancer treatment“-dystopian.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#183

Post by wiihack »

jaqalopes wrote: post #104
seer wrote: post #91

Just ended a 10 year relationship, better than most people have in a divorce I guess as we were not married and didn’t have children - the major point of contention. I wanted to start a family and build something lasting, and my partner apparently didn’t. I now have to go ahead and learn all the new “rules” for dating, and seek a new partner with all the misses that it would probably entail. Not what I wanted at all,…

I feel for you. If you did in fact "just" get out of the relationship, I strongly recommend taking a while off dating to just be single and rediscover who YOU are, on your own. I don't mean you can't go out/on dates or have a sex life, just that you should keep an eye out for the temptations of a rebound relationship that isn't actually a good fit or happening for the right reasons. It's a real hazard and one best av…

Good advice. What really helped after my breakup was just the time being with myself. It definitely takes some time to get used to it but now im even more happy that I just didn't took the next best chance to be in a relationship again.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#184

Post by thimkerbell »

hdueb5d wrote: post #65

Very bad. A few years ago I left a position because frankly it was extremely dysfunctional and abusive. No one I turned to for advice (except those who already left) really believed it could be as bad as it was, and the advice was repeatedly to just wait it out. After years of this I just didn't see how it would change, ran out of things to try. Since then things have become even worse than they were where I was, in…

Skills? Interests?

What does the world need you to do?

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#185

Post by balaji1 »

racl101 wrote: post #10

Just wish I had more time off. Got a lot of vacation days. But our team is so small that taking the time off makes me feel guilty. Conversely, if I don't have at least 4 days off in a row I don't know how to just relax and not try to do work. I don't enjoy watching movies or TV anymore cause all I can think about is the fact that I'm not being productive. I haven't gone to the movies since 2019 (since COVID) and I've…

are you unproductive if you are making income and you are doing enough at work to not cost your job. if you are pursuing goals, at work or otherwise, like a promotion, then you feel unproductive doing other things. it will come down to prioritization of tasks. modern day requires a lot of admin work and we are bogged down not knowing how to delegate and manage.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#187

Post by dirtybirdnj »

honestduane wrote: post #145
dirtybirdnj wrote: post #29

Very bad. Struggling dealing with an autism / aspergers diagnosis and trying to understand how to re-enter the workforce after a few years of being under or unemployed. It's a complete nightmare. I want to work but I struggle with communication and being understood (or understanding) the world around me. I have been waiting on news about a job all week and not a peep. I'm pretty sure they are waiting till EOD Friday…

I'm looking myself after my last role turned out to be a bait and switch from a very toxic founder who was chasing everybody who reported to them away; Anybody who is unemployed can ping me on twitter using this username (I have open DM's) and based on your resume, I might be able to refer you to roles I have to turn down. If not, at least you wont feel so alone.

I followed your twitter username and found your website... the availability page is a work of art.

I especially resonate with your feelings on front-end / backend and I really like the way you make it sound vs my usual spiel about "I like backend because I hate CSS"

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#188

Post by tailspin2019 »

gojomo wrote: post #98
dirtybirdnj wrote: post #29

Very bad. Struggling dealing with an autism / aspergers diagnosis and trying to understand how to re-enter the workforce after a few years of being under or unemployed. It's a complete nightmare. I want to work but I struggle with communication and being understood (or understanding) the world around me. I have been waiting on news about a job all week and not a peep. I'm pretty sure they are waiting till EOD Friday…

I'm sorry to hear that. From a faraway stranger, I'd say: • Your written communication, in this comment, and via a quick look at other recent comments, appears excellent. Whatever your other comms/awkwardness concerns, writing can be a channel-for-connection, & for productive-economic interactions, for you even long before other relationships & skills find-their-grounding. • You're right to prioritize finding employm…

Awesome comment

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#189

Post by mbrodersen »

racl101 wrote: post #10

Just wish I had more time off. Got a lot of vacation days. But our team is so small that taking the time off makes me feel guilty. Conversely, if I don't have at least 4 days off in a row I don't know how to just relax and not try to do work. I don't enjoy watching movies or TV anymore cause all I can think about is the fact that I'm not being productive. I haven't gone to the movies since 2019 (since COVID) and I've…

Why do you think you have to be productive all the time? What a strange idea! Isn’t the point of working that you can then afford to kick back and do whatever you want outside of work?

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#190

Post by farmerstan »

dirtybirdnj wrote: post #163
farmerstan wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Failing as a person is if you betray your friends, if you kick someone who is already down, taking advantage of people, etc. THAT is failing as a person. You are not failing as a person. Do not define your self-worth as you having a job or money. You are going through hard times. Everyone goes through hard times. That doesn’t mean you are failing as a person. Take a short break from job hunting and pick it back up ag…

I tried working at a commercial pizza kitchen for about six months. I loved the creative cooking aspect of it. I hated the monotonous, thankless backbreaking work. At the end of the week I lost all my time, and I had hardly enough money to pay the bills let alone disposable income. It was a net negative on my wallet and it was physically destructive to me, I was sore and worn out and that was a huge motivator to fina…

I didn’t mean an extended break. I meant a break like a long weekend where you try not to think about it. Bra does like that at help clear your mind if possible.

The biggest things is stop feeling like a failure. That causes a negative feedback loop that will continue a pattern of bad decisions making. Forgive yourself and Clear your head.

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