February Had my first depressive phase in January. 2 days where I could not get out of bed and don't remember what happened. The weeks after that were kind of blurry, almost like watching myself from the outside. I could not trust my own judgements and had to refrain from verbal communication due to being snappy and overly agressive. Started a diary, writing down my thoughts and feelings and in hindsight it is really difficult to believe that I wrote those lines. Many things stopped making sense. Material values became disgusting and I feel that the things I do at work do not have any impact. What worried me the most is not enough quality time with the kids. I simply do not have the energy after 8h of meaningless work to inspire and teach them the way I would like. How can I preach values and be a role model if I'm stuck at a job I don't like anymore?
April Fast forward two months. I took the best decision I had in the last couple years. Took three weeks off from from work, family and the internet. Spent them in a different country with people whom life dealt way worse cards than me. Helps to put things into perspective. Those three weeks alone helped me to put priorites back into place and appreciate the thing I have. Stopped watching the news and don't give a flying f about work anymore. Will quit at the end of the year and hopefully find something more meaningful.