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Poll: How are you doing currently?

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81–90 of 231 posts

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#81

Very bad. Struggling dealing with an autism / aspergers diagnosis and trying to understand how to re-enter the workforce after a few years of being under or unemployed. It's a complete nightmare. I want to work but I struggle with communication and being understood (or understanding) the world around me. I have been waiting on news about a job all week and not a peep. I'm pretty sure they are waiting till EOD Friday…

I don't know about the support network for your condition but surely there are some? I'm making an assumption, but you write as if you are trying to manage things all by yourself, which is commendable but perhaps making things more difficult than they need to be. Are you working with any kind of local autism support group? I would hope there are some resources to help people such as yourself navigate the difficulties with finding employment. And there are some employers who specifically want to hire in this area. Maybe you just need help with connecting to the right opportunities?

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#82
I have suffered from OCD since I was 21. Intrusive thoughts, fears of harming others or having harmed others, and what's sometimes called r-ocd or "relationship ocd". Mostly everything fell under the category known as "pure o" or OCD without visible external compulsions.

I went to multiple psychologists, tried talk therapy, tried SSRIs, and while there were modest improvements here and there, my life continued to be dictated by my deepest fears and obsessions.

Three years ago, I read a book on OCD that completely changed my perspective. [1]

I started CBT (mostly exposure therapy) with a clinic that specialized only in OCD. I quickly realized that I had never actually done CBT in the past, despite various therapists who claimed that they combined CBT with dynamic therapy.

I stopped therapy after less than a year (no longer needed it) and reduced my SSRI prescription to a very low dose.

Today I'm the CEO of a small but (so far) very successful startup. More importantly, I'm in a healthy and happy marriage. My mental health has never been better.

Your mileage may vary, but if you're struggling with similar issues I would recommend avoiding dynamic therapy like the plague and finding a good CBT clinic specializing in OCD. If you've been going to therapy for years then it's ineffective therapy. If you talk to someone, feel better, and then need to go back next week for another talk to feel good then you're not getting better.

[1] https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/316086/freedom-from...

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#83
post #49

Not great. Probably a better day than others given I had sex for the first time since I got divorced. Admittedly - it was not with someone I expected or had a strong desire for. I just seemed to follow through as to avoid an even longer dry spell and gather more data on what some women think about me. Not really surprising but women who will have sex with you tend to think highly of you. Fortunately - I also tend to…

Being single in SV must be hell. The gender imbalance in tech is so bad - it's made me think a few times I need to get out if I just want to meet someone.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#84
post #26

I teach on the second floor of a city school where budget issues mean we don't have metal doors to the classrooms (older building, first floor has them). Every room has a metal cabinet though, and so our barricade procedure for the room is to lock the door, slide the cabinet in front of it, then kick out the furniture sliders from underneath the cabinet. Today, us second floor teachers pooled our personal money (near…

I think the answer to education is to break up large schools and have schools that are no larger than 100-150 kids in total. 10x the number of schools and have individual attention to kids and teachers both. Fire the bad teachers quickly. Have larger communal facilities for things like sports and more outdoor activities like a form of scouts.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#85
post #31

I think overall things are better but definitely some areas of worry. I took last week off and really just enjoyed a staycation of doing whatever I felt like. Practiced guitar, read some, played Magic like every day, and had the time & stress capacity to handle our fridge going out suddenly. The main thing is I'm worried where things are going . For the first time, because of the market, I'm projected to make less th…

[deleted]

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#86
post #10

Just wish I had more time off. Got a lot of vacation days. But our team is so small that taking the time off makes me feel guilty. Conversely, if I don't have at least 4 days off in a row I don't know how to just relax and not try to do work. I don't enjoy watching movies or TV anymore cause all I can think about is the fact that I'm not being productive. I haven't gone to the movies since 2019 (since COVID) and I've…

> But a part of my brain says that I can't spare the 3+ hours that it takes to go to the theatre. That it would be unproductive.

This kind of thing invades my decision making daily. I "blame" the high-demand for excellence at the tech firms I've worked at, and a personal obsession with self-help. It's whittled down my capacity for fun.

The only thing I've found help is to invest in something else I value highly - a hobby, friendship, family time. At the end of the day TV and movies (while enjoyable) aren't all that important compared to the obligation you feel to co-workers.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#88
It’s been a rough year for me. Was burnt out from working 70 hours a week at a small startup so I decided to start interviewing.

Hit my head and had severe concussion symptoms for about four months. It was extremely difficult to manage work and still try to prep for interviews. Kept putting them off til January. Those several months were really crappy and I missed out on a lot of nice things planned with friends and family.

I interviewed a bunch in January and got a bunch of offers!

But my grandma died. Not too bad because she lived a long and healthy life but still sad. Silver lining is that I flew home and got to see my whole extended family. Also nice to see my core family since COVID interrupted our holidays.

2 days after flying back and accepting a job offer, my dad died of a heart attack. No words to describe it really.

My mom was dependent upon him and I’m the oldest child so pretty much everything has fallen to me. It’s been stressful managing the finances which are a lot worse than I thought. Fortunately my dad ran a small consulting business but I’ve had to take it over and it’s all unfamiliar. I’ve finally gotten it to a mostly stable place and we’re hoping to renew our contracts later this year, but I’m afraid that process will be stressful too.

The job I accepted is at a certain well known company that’s been experiencing a bit of a circus in the media and my job security is now at risk.

I also just got COVID and had to miss my partner’s family reunion. My other grandma just died and I’m starting to get worried about what’s next.

Overall it gives perspective I guess but still sucks. I keep a journal and it’s sad how long it’s been since I’ve had a pleasant weekend. Hopefully things trend up from here

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#89

I have been procrastinating on finding a new job for about a month now. I am seriously questioning whether I want another web development job. I'm almost 40 and the web space stopped being interesting for me about 8 years ago. I suspect I'll procrastinate until my bank account balance gets low enough to cause me to panic and then I'll get serious about getting another web job.

My team is hiring a remote full-stack developer. Shoot me an email hn at josh.ml and I'd be happy to discuss with you.

Re: Poll: How are you doing currently?

#90
post #49

Not great. Probably a better day than others given I had sex for the first time since I got divorced. Admittedly - it was not with someone I expected or had a strong desire for. I just seemed to follow through as to avoid an even longer dry spell and gather more data on what some women think about me. Not really surprising but women who will have sex with you tend to think highly of you. Fortunately - I also tend to…

Maybe consider moving to Europe and learning a local language? Pay may not be as great, but life does flow slower here, and people come off as less materialistic and career focused.
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