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I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

wilwheaton.net

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Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#281

Post by goodpoint »

pronlover723 wrote: post #157
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

There are tons of adults that are thankful their parents forced them to learn something (a second language, a musical instrument, ...). There are also tons of adults forever angry at themselves for complaining to the point their parents let them stop studying whatever "it" was. I learned Japanese as an adult. I know at least 3 Americans of Japanese descent angry at themselves for complaining to their parents to let t…

> I personally wish (or think I wish) they had pushed a little more

You are confusing extremely different things.

Encouraging a kid to experiment with taking a handful of music lessons is one thing.

Years of emotional abuse is another.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#282

Post by octobus2021 »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

I was made to study music (piano, singing, solfeggio) growing up. Basically robbed me of childhood - no free time (classes 6 days a week), no friends, constant pressure to do something I didn't want to. At 8th grade a just said I'm not going anymore and mom gave up. My kids are now involved in a lot of extracurriculars, including piano, but I'm trying to make sure they have life outside of school and activities. I think it's not all bad, it's a matter of balance you need to find as a parent.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#283

Post by VikingCoder »

jazzythom wrote: post #17

My parents pushed me hard, but sent me to a liberal arts school, and I’m hardwired for engineering. Hilarity ensued. The grinding of gears was a memory I would pay to erase. Deeply resent spending hours every day learning languages for countries I had no interest in visiting and how glaciers formed. What a waste of my finite precious time. If only I could go back I’d run out the gate and get on a train never to be se…

I can imagine he's telling the entertainment world to do a better job checking in on kids.

And telling those kids that they're not alone.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#284

Post by fristechill »

gwd wrote: post #206
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

> As I have young children of my own today, I'm faced with these questions. What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? I don't need my kid to be the best at anything - I just don't want them to be lost/dead-in-the-water or unable to fend for themselves. If you read other things written by Wil Wheaton, you'll find (according to his description) that his parents had a very perverse relationship with each other, a…

Parents, love your children, as much as you can. Children, honour your parents, as much as you can.

The alternative is resentment, a condition toxic enough to keep anyone in hell.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#285

Post by giraffe_lady »

CamelCaseName wrote: post #269
Kaze404 wrote: post #251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It probably doesn't help either that her biggest role was a Dan Schneider show of all people.

I'm not familiar, so I searched him up. Is this what you're referring to? > Then, in March 2018, Schneider's time at Nickelodeon suddenly ended amid allegations of verbal abuse and questionable treatment of the young stars who appeared on his shows Source: https://www.looper.com/618303/the-dan-schneider-controversy-...

That's almost certainly the minimum that he got up to. There are quite a few credible stories of sexual abuse as well. The personal cost to victims of coming forward with official allegations is very high so it's not surprising that no one really has so far.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#286

Post by goodpoint »

kibibyte wrote: post #172
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

Ooh, this definitely struck a chord in me, as I fall right into that stereotype. I was forced to play piano for 10 years and to do all those recitals and music theory tests. I could never wiggle myself out of it because of all the guilt-tripping. So of course, I went to college and promptly dropped all of it. And unexpectedly, nearly a decade later, this pandemic thing happened, I returned to piano, recently bought a…

The end does not justify the means.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#287

Post by alfiedotwtf »

ido wrote: post #217
ntlk wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is it. There are periods in life when the time for practice is more likely to be freely available. As an adult there are other responsibilities to be negotiated. I’ve made life choices that now result in having uninterrupted blocks of time for learning to play an instrument in my thirties. I’m surprised at how quickly some things become completely effortless when you have time to practice every day.

Be that as it may, children have a higher degree of neuroplasticity than adults. You would have probably learned even faster as a child.

On the flip side, you're also less likely to be serious wanting to play an instrument, especially classical piano.

I started classical piano in primary school all the way up until I turned 17. I thought I played ok... but I started lessons again about 6 months ago (I'm turning 40 this weekend) and now that I actually want to play rather than be forced to play from tiger parents, I can honestly say that I'm learning 100 times faster than when I was a kid.

Also, now that I'm actually practicing multiple times a week rather than 30 minutes before my lesson (like when I did when I was a kid), my sight reading is blowing my mind. I could only wish to read like I do today than when I did in my teens.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#288

Post by dandellion »

pvorb wrote: post #25
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

You mean like trying to get your kid into programming, which is a bit more common around here?

I don't think it's the same thing. My parents signed me up for English classes when I was very young. They made me go twice a week, even when I was tired of school already. It sucked, some times, but it was just two hours a week and it was far from making me miserable or anything like that. It has actually proved to be an extremely valuable skill in my adult life.

It's different to make a kid take piano lessons than to force them to practice every day because you've decided their career should be piano virtuoso. I think it's the same with programming, it can be a very useful skill, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to teach it to your kids as long as you don't force them or make them miserable.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#289

Post by alfiedotwtf »

ntlk wrote: post #114
alfiedotwtf wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FIFY: music you literally cannot play because you don't have as much time to practice compared to you were younger. The wires you speak of come from time, practice, effort and habit - i.e the original meaning of the term kung fu.

This is it. There are periods in life when the time for practice is more likely to be freely available. As an adult there are other responsibilities to be negotiated. I’ve made life choices that now result in having uninterrupted blocks of time for learning to play an instrument in my thirties. I’m surprised at how quickly some things become completely effortless when you have time to practice every day.

Exactly. I now have an alarm that goes off every day after dinner, where I force myself (no matter how dead tired I am) to sit at the piano and play at least an hour.

But like going to the gym, the hard part is getting there. Once I'm playing, I look down at my watch and it's been over 2 hours!

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#290

Post by goodpoint »

tyleo wrote: post #249
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

“What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much?” Is a great question. Some friends and I had fairly negative experiences with childhood activities (for me sports, for them music). However, as we reflect on them as adults we are quite happy that we were pushed into uncomfortable scenarios and “forced” to learn life long skills. Indeed, some of my friends argue that they wish they were pushed a bit harder. All that b…

No, it's not about the quantity of "pushing", it's about the quality.

Is it warmly encouraging and being supportive or is emotional manipulation?

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