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I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

wilwheaton.net

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Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#241

Post by mkl »

coldtea wrote: post #178
kibibyte wrote: post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ooh, this definitely struck a chord in me, as I fall right into that stereotype. I was forced to play piano for 10 years and to do all those recitals and music theory tests. I could never wiggle myself out of it because of all the guilt-tripping. So of course, I went to college and promptly dropped all of it. And unexpectedly, nearly a decade later, this pandemic thing happened, I returned to piano, recently bought a…

> my parents failed to recognize that for 10 years (as evidenced by never presenting the option of finding someone else) Well, in this case tho, did you ever suggest it? I mean, if it was a matter of disliking the material or the teaching style, but otherwise those lessons weren't in bad form, abusive, etc., so they couldn't see anything bad about them, how would they know?

(Not OP)

I think it's pretty common for kids to not realise something's a problem, or to not realise there are other possibilities. Something happened to me as a kid that had a significant negative effect on my life, but I only understood that decades later, and no one else was aware of the problem at the time.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#243

Post by Gordonjcp »

em-bee wrote: post #148
Gordonjcp wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the sad part is that he hasn't found what he needs to forgive his parents. Where do you draw the line beyond which you cannot forgive someone?

there is no line, that's up to everyone for themselves. if you can't find what you need to forgive then that is sad for you because you still feel pain and you haven't found a way to make the pain go away. and i feel for you and i wish i could help you. i am not trying to suggest that you need to forgive in order to feel better. i don't think it works that way. but rather, you need to feel better before you can forgi…

> you can't find what you need to forgive then that is sad for you because you still feel pain and you haven't found a way to make the pain go away

So if I decided that I'd chop your legs off for a laugh, you'd be able to find a way to forgive that?

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#244

Post by [deleted] »

nurettin wrote: post #77
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

I wish I was pushed as a child to play the piano. And I did it for my child. He endured it for a year. He's talented and he's at the beginner's level, but when we observed closely, he didn't want to practise. He only did it when we threatened him with stopping the lessons. So we just let it go. Now we have a piano at the house. He sometimes plays whatever he likes. Maybe he will pick it up later in his life. Maybe I…

[deleted]

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#245

Post by Gordonjcp »

kelnos wrote: post #213
Gordonjcp wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, maybe watch something original and not totally derived from something else, like the Marvel movies, or Sonic the Hedgehog 2, or Fantastic Beasts...

Arguably everything these days must be derived from something else, at least to some extent. Not sure there are really that many viable story ideas out there, and I wouldn't be surprised if the last several thousand years of stories have covered most of them.

There are only something like a dozen basic story plots, but for the love of all that is sprocket-holey just stop remaking and remaking and remaking the same film over and over again. Or, if you do, stop whining about pirates stealing your content.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#246

Post by webmobdev »

thematrixturtle wrote: post #151
true_religion wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Asian culture simply adopted American and English culture in this regard Since the OP mentioned China specifically, I think it’s good to note that the Chinese elite have venerated art for millennia. Poetry writing, singing, and playing musical instruments were a staple of every young nobles education during the times of the Imperial dynasties. It’s not at all something simply copied from the British during coloniza…

I've never heard of a Chinese/Asian parent forcing the erhu or pipa on their kids though: it's always Western instruments, particularly the violin and piano.

While pushing kids to learn western classical music may be common among the Chinese and Korean (and Japanese?), it isn't so with Indians. But some Indians, especially Hindu Brahmins, do nudge their kids to take up indian classical dancing, singing or push them to learn some indian instruments. Still, it isn't to the extent of forcing kids for years of classes.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#247

Post by adriand »

kibibyte wrote: post #172
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

Ooh, this definitely struck a chord in me, as I fall right into that stereotype. I was forced to play piano for 10 years and to do all those recitals and music theory tests. I could never wiggle myself out of it because of all the guilt-tripping. So of course, I went to college and promptly dropped all of it. And unexpectedly, nearly a decade later, this pandemic thing happened, I returned to piano, recently bought a…

My daughter is 12, she has been taking piano lessons for several years now. About a year-and-a-half ago she started saying that she didn’t want to continue. Hated her lessons, didn’t like her teacher any more, etc. We of course weren’t happy about this because she was playing very well. We do believe in honouring our kids’ wishes, coupled however with the requirement that they meet their commitments: in this case, that my daughter finish that year of instruction. In the meantime we coached her on pressuring herself less and tried to support her.

Over that period, something changed. She started watching YouTube videos of pianists. She heard about the Canadian pianist, Bruce Liu, who won the Chopin piano competition last year, and started saying she wanted to be the first female Canadian to win the same competition. She started practicing all the time, and we got her a new piano, an upright instead of an electronic one. She is still working hard like this.

I don’t know why or how this happened, but I am glad it turned out this way. On the flip side, she also used to take ballet, and was very good at it, but didn’t want to continue that either. Once again we insisted she finish the year, and after that she didn’t want to enrol so we let that lapse.

Parenting is a tricky balancing act!

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#248

Post by wccrawford »

fefe23 wrote: post #192

This is a heart wrenching read. I wish Wil all the best and I'm happy he did not harm himself. I would also like to invite him to try and see the positive sides of his experience. It shaped him into a man that has been a role model for millions of young men via Star Trek. It may not have been what he wanted, but I'm glad he ended up doing it. I don't know what depression feels like, but if can tell you that watching…

Since he's still actively an actor, I think he understands the benefits from the situation. Here he's talking about the abuse he went through to get there, and how awful it was. He doesn't need to temper it with the good parts. We all know them, including him.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#249

Post by tyleo »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

“What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much?” Is a great question.

Some friends and I had fairly negative experiences with childhood activities (for me sports, for them music). However, as we reflect on them as adults we are quite happy that we were pushed into uncomfortable scenarios and “forced” to learn life long skills. Indeed, some of my friends argue that they wish they were pushed a bit harder.

All that being said, the amount of “pushing” my friends and I experienced does not seem be irregular (like in the article). It does lead me to believe there is some “okay” amount of pushing. Does anyone have perspective on where they draw the line?

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#250

Post by rbanffy »

TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

Not to mention the reality shows about beauty pageants. Reality TV is a crime against humanity.
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