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Toxic Positivity

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Re: Toxic Positivity

#171

For actual information about Toxic Positivity, I think the following posts and articles are likely to be much more helpful: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-509395... https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/ https://www.wsj.com/articles/tired-of-being-told-cheer-up-th... And I haven't read it yet, but I saw a new book on the subject is out "Toxic Positivity: Keeping it Real in a World Obs…

I’d also add Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-sided, motivated in part by her irritation with people telling her to be positive after hearing about her cancer diagnosis https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113758...

Re: Toxic Positivity

#172
post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This was my reaction too, I didn't want to comment as such earlier when it would be the only comment, but it feels like this has been propelled to the top of the front-page by the title alone.

I would hope HN would be more immune to this general online phenomenon, but these sorts of articles get ranked highly often enough that it seems like a majority of users rush to vote and opine without taking the time to read.

Ah, reminds me of the slashdot of my youth!

Re: Toxic Positivity

#173
post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect, as with other writing I've seen before, that (a) they have no real thoughts about this topic (indeed it strikes me as very difficult for anyone to form a genuine thought about), and (b) therefore they are mechanically churning out 'content' (euch), emulating whatever examples they have seen. That's what explains so many in the comments feeling that it was produced by GPT-3. And, let's be honest, this is on…

I would like to say a second thank you for your response here. The way you've expressed this gives me food for thought on how I spread my time and energy, and how it manifests in terms of quality. I'm leaving this behind me tomorrow and taking what I have found useful so I've actually screen-shotted this comment in particular to take away with me. The way you've worded the issue is thoughtful and I'm not able to resp…

Ah, thank you - I had this thread open in a tab all day, and I'm a compulsive procrastinator (not just some amateur crastinator), hence the intermittent participation! It reads as quite pompous now that I read it back, but hey, I think that of all my comments, so I'm very happy if it was any use to you. Wishing you all the best, and that you find an opportunity to put your skills to better, worthier use. Here's to artists, chefs, and saints :)

Re: Toxic Positivity

#174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great. In agreement, but help me understand how we went from lived experiences involving bigotry and abuse to crank medicine and con game victims? I added that boundary specifically so that cases like this wouldn't be brought up and used to counter-example. > Skepticism is a rational and healthy habit. Agreed. Veiled-skepticism is, however in the case of invalidating lived experience, a powerful gaslighting tool. Dis…

How would you be able to tell what’s veiled skepticism vs legitimate skepticism?

I think we all have some skill in understanding if we are being engaged with authentically or are being deceived.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#175
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To my mind, I think toxic is a byword for 'extreme behaviour'; and furthermore, extreme behaviour is often a symptom of a personality disorder at its most pronounced.

Like toxic skiing? Or toxic mountain climbing? Toxic marathon running?

Now that I think about it, toxic endurance sports hits too close to home...

Re: Toxic Positivity

#176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seen a few pieces about how we should be prioritising compassion over empathy to save ourselves from exhaustion. Only place I remember reading off top of my head was Rutger Bregman's Humankind. Interesting to ponder

This is a very good point and I'm going to check out the book you mentioned. Thank you

It's super uplifting, which is not something we get from a lot of non fiction, of course. Hope you enjoy!

Re: Toxic Positivity

#177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> help me understand how we went from lived experiences involving bigotry and abuse to crank medicine There's no bright line between the two. Someone claims some experiences, and someone else disputes the claims. Bigotry isn't necessarily a factor, or, there might be disagreement on whether it is. "Invalidating lived experience" seems like a thought-stopping cliche, rather than any sort of argument at all. It is a fa…

That's so interesting. For me, it's a reminder to "pause twice before telling someone how they should be interpreting their experiences relating to bigotry and abuse. Get curious instead." I guess for some people it gets translated into "You're not allowed to say I'm wrong." I feel like I have something to learn from asking, is this something that has happened to you? As an aside, the inability to draw a clear line b…

Honestly? Don't bother. You're not going to get through to a place that doesn't instaban people who have posts like:

    > frontman1988 7 days ago | on: On Aging Alone
    > 40 is the prime age for men. You can easily get a younger gf from 
    > Thailand/Vietnam/Philippines with minimum effort. And you never know
    > you might find true love (if it exists) as well.
    > reply
or

    > frontman1988 16 hours ago | on: Can growth
    > continue?
    > The solution to tackling declining population can be by generating 
    > Genetically modified babies. This new race of humans will be smarter
    > and stronger than the current lot due to eugenics. CRISPR will make it
    > possible and it's already happening in China. The west needs to look at
    > it instead of ramping up immigration and importing instability from
    > third world countries.
    > reply
I mean, the person you're responding to hasn't taken the time to understand the base concept of "cultural appropriation", or relative disparity of experience:

    > MockObject 3 months ago | parent | context | 
    > prev | next [–] | on: The Casio employee
    > behind the “Sleng Teng” riddim ...
    > This speaks to a fatal flaw with the concept of cultural appropriation. 
    > Ok, so a "white"  person can't "speak for Native Americans", but 
    > a Native American can? Can any, or just  certain ones? Who wins if they
    > disagree?
    > reply
I'm not really sure why they would show more ability to empathize here with you than they do in other threads!

What's funny here is that these people would be probated or in the case of frontman1988, banned, on SomethingAwful these days. How times have changed!

Re: Toxic Positivity

#178
post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's so interesting. For me, it's a reminder to "pause twice before telling someone how they should be interpreting their experiences relating to bigotry and abuse. Get curious instead." I guess for some people it gets translated into "You're not allowed to say I'm wrong." I feel like I have something to learn from asking, is this something that has happened to you? As an aside, the inability to draw a clear line b…

Honestly? Don't bother. You're not going to get through to a place that doesn't instaban people who have posts like: > frontman1988 7 days ago | on: On Aging Alone > 40 is the prime age for men. You can easily get a younger gf from > Thailand/Vietnam/Philippines with minimum effort. And you never know > you might find true love (if it exists) as well. > reply or > frontman1988 16 hours ago | on: Can growth > continue…

Oh, let's not forget this zinger!

    > MockObject 4 months ago | on: Being black in tech is exhausting
    > I am a minority, and I am furious that my advancement is besmirched
    > with the asterisk of the possibility of affirmative action. But I am
    > powerless and unheard.
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