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I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

wilwheaton.net

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Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#21

Post by jazzythom »

carrolldunham wrote: post #5

It feels obvious now that kids should not be on tv at all, by the same logic that they can't consent to sex. They can't consent to the huge ramifications of public exposure.

They can’t consent to anything by your logic we should cut a hole in a cardboard box and put them in it until they’re 18. You have to be practical, that opportunity could generate millions for his future and build a career. I mean you can’t punish them for being unable to see the future. Judge them from the information available at the junction.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#22

Post by irrational »

manmal wrote: post #11
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

Clarification: I‘m talking about self-actualization & leisure time here, not chores. > What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? There is no healthy amount of pushing, period. If you stop applying pressure, children will find their own thing, and that’s the best outcome for them. Just make sure they know the possibilities of what they could do. What would you have liked to do instead of learning piano? Did you…

That's not true. I never pushed my kids and now that they are adults they are angry with my for not pushing them. For example, "Why didn't you make us play sports?" Well, if you had told me you wanted to play sports I would have supported you, but you never said anything. It turns out that kids don't really know have the maturity to do things unless pushed or encouraged by parents. Who knew?

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#24

Post by beebmam »

jay_kyburz wrote: post #16
manmal wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Clarification: I‘m talking about self-actualization & leisure time here, not chores. > What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? There is no healthy amount of pushing, period. If you stop applying pressure, children will find their own thing, and that’s the best outcome for them. Just make sure they know the possibilities of what they could do. What would you have liked to do instead of learning piano? Did you…

I have a 10 and an 8 year old, and I don't agree that kids will find their own thing. I have to apply a fair amount of pressure to get 20 minutes of reading homework on school nights. I even have to apply some pressure to get them to put their laundry in the basket and put their clean clothes away. There are heaps of things that just aren't that fun but that are actually important.

As long as you keep your kids away from addictive things, like social media, cell phones, heavily processed foods, drugs, sex, etc, they'll probably figure things out all right. But it seems easier than ever to fall into cycles of addiction in this era, no matter where you live on earth.

So I'd say pushing kids away from those things is necessary. Beyond that, I'm not so sure.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#25

Post by pvorb »

TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

You mean like trying to get your kid into programming, which is a bit more common around here?

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#26

Post by nlnn »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

It's a tough one. If you discover a passion for something as an adult, you'll often wish your parents had pushed you into it as a kid.

I feel this way about music, zero education as a kid, started late as an adult, but feel I'll never catch up.

Though there's no way of knowing whether I'd have felt the same as a kid, or pushed back against it at the time.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#28

Post by beardyw »

obiefernandez wrote: post #14
manmal wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Clarification: I‘m talking about self-actualization & leisure time here, not chores. > What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? There is no healthy amount of pushing, period. If you stop applying pressure, children will find their own thing, and that’s the best outcome for them. Just make sure they know the possibilities of what they could do. What would you have liked to do instead of learning piano? Did you…

I wish my parents had pushed me to practice piano. They subjected me to lessons for almost 2 years, and I didn't mind (although the 30 minute drive each way to the teacher's house sucked.) However, between lessons instead of practicing I would just fck off and improvise and try to teach myself popular songs instead of actually practicing, and I'm not talking about hours each day either, maybe more like a few minutes.…

Same story here. The piano teacher refused to teach me in the end.

That said, as a result I can busk a bit, and have come to realise that physical tasks to be done in a repeatable way are outside my ability. So the world has not lost a great pianist.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#29

Post by divs1210 »

Off topic:

Though Will is better known for his role in Star Trek, my favorite work of his is a low budget film from the 80’s called The Curse.

It is an adaptation of HP Lovecraft’s Color Out of Space, and IMO it’s the best Lovecraft adaptation ever made. (trust me, I’ve seen a lot)

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#30

Post by vnorilo »

manmal wrote: post #11
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

Clarification: I‘m talking about self-actualization & leisure time here, not chores. > What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? There is no healthy amount of pushing, period. If you stop applying pressure, children will find their own thing, and that’s the best outcome for them. Just make sure they know the possibilities of what they could do. What would you have liked to do instead of learning piano? Did you…

Some amount of external pressure may help you try something that's slightly difficult and not the most obvious instant gratification available.

The main thing is to not chase some dumb good-parenting metric but to give your kid suitable obstacles so she can experience overcoming them and feel success and gain self-confidence. That's what parenting is all about: the little push that helps kids reach their potential. Easier said than done of course.

I agree though that if that does not stay in the fun zone, the outcome will most likely be bad. Especially if there is some vicarious competition in the parent's head.

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