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Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

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Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#511

Post by xpe »

rattray wrote: post #483
xpe wrote: post #370

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not dismissing the comment above -- it is useful -- but it leaves a lot of fundamental questions unanswered, such as: Which kind(s) of smart people? The kinds of smarts that are like yours? What about the forms of intelligence maybe that you don't even recognize yet? What about pairwise intelligence -- that isn't traditionally captured by the term 'smart' -- it is more often captured by quotes such as "he's inspi…

For this particular person, who wants to feel non-lonely and combat hubris while continuing to primarily do what they love (coding), I would say a heuristic I might use would be "developers who humble you with their abilities, and have great attitudes". Raw intellectual horsepower will likely be a big part of that, but I agree that "smart" alone is underspecified. For example, I think this person would enjoy working…

Thanks for explaining -- I see what you mean, and (FWIW) I tend to agree.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#513

Post by n4kana »

10x or not, you’re ready to reframe your role in your company. Perhaps in your industry too. However I find it interesting that you didn’t come out saying “I think I want to find a new job.” Like there’s something keeping you at this job - you like something there. I’ve felt similarly alone at my company and I’m no doubt at least a 2x engineer in my architectural engineering capacity. Here’s the bottom line - psychedelic medicine helped me with anxiety and depression. I still get frustrated with slack-jawed engineers assisting me but ultimately I find satisfaction in the tight execution of a project even when they feel like layups. It’s not trivial work - there are new challenges but I had to adjust my mindset to see them. I wanted challenges to look one way, but with a wide angle psychedelic driven perspective, I see that they’re nearby but not what I expected. Moreover at the end of the day, I have rapport at my company. I’d need a pretty strong sense to leave a good company that respects me for some place that pays me more to scramble like a beginner all over. That’s not the chapter of my life that I’m writing right now. Feel free to write your next chapter outside of the office.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#514

Post by actionfromafar »

manmal wrote: post #403
100011_100001 wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The pivot I have been debating is to become a Lead Development Manager with the express purpose of enabling everyone else, removing obstacles, creating better processes etc. My problem is that I love code much more than talking to people all day. I have been mentoring Jr Devs for a while now in an official capacity which helps. I like the idea of "make systemic changes to help your peers become more effective". So th…

Maybe you can write software to help make others more efficient, by empowering them to do more by themselves. Give people superpowers they don’t have at other orgs. Things coming to mind: - Code editor plugins (or web or mobile apps) tailored to your org‘s workflows - Language changes in case your org is using an OSS lang - Libraries for often-used functionality - DSLs that let your org‘s PMs encode behavior themselv…

Be careful with the kind of tools that increase abstraction in the code base itself. It can easily tip into a situation where it will have to be all ripped out when the OP leaves the company. Or worse, remains as a cargoculted mystery.

There are no hard and fast rules, but stuff that increases the productivity of other in a (to them) non-mystical way would be best.

It's a judgement call, some of these in the list above made me pause, but the red flags will be specific to each workplace.

The keys is to know what others will understand, and that is a super-power in itself.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#515

Post by omgJustTest »

100011_100001 wrote: post #470
omgJustTest wrote: post #103

I hear you. The one problem with being so useful is that all problems slide your way. While it is hard to hear, you might be enabling the problem. If everyone believes you know the best way or are the most efficient problem solver, they will default to you. There's long maintenance tails in certain problems... so even if you are great at what you do it can quickly become overwhelming. Making opportunities for others…

A lot of people have made comments similar to yours. I do help others, but I could be doing a better job.

Disclosure: I struggle with this particular issue a lot, so I might just be sharing my personal struggles and seeing them in your conflict.

Changing some of the words that you use to describe interactions helps us change their influence. "Helping others" is not exactly what I intended to say. I meant to say "help yourself". Become self-reliant (as you know you are) but that also means removing some of the pride you take from doing your job well. Allow others to be self-reliant, and imagine if you did not feel self-sufficient. That you needed some 'expert' help to do your job.

This empathetic perspective comes from selfishness... as it should. Spend your time in a way that replaces the short-term payoff of pride in your work to overall life satisfaction.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#516

Post by roguas »

> worry that by not being challenged I will become complacent.

Find something more challenging? Plenty of people find themselves at this place and start doing something more "ambitous" whatever that might be. Start a framework, a startup, a research in the field or maybe just look for company with bigger problems. I bet you won't feel complacent working in some bleeding edge team at FAANG.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#517

Post by roguas »

100011_100001 wrote: post #33
ziddoap wrote: post #21

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” I know saying this is easier than doing it, but; seek upward movement until you no longer feel like you're the smartest person in the room. I would also add, although it's purely personal opinion, that seeking a solution to loneliness through work is a surefire way to feel more lonely. You say you're big on self-improvement, but are you only focus…

I've thought about this. I actually do not think I'm the smartest person in the room, hell two of the people in my direct team are definitely smarter than me. I think I have really good systems that allow me to consistently solve problems and write code. On the loneliness front, I meant in the scope of working. I have four kids, I am everything BUT lonely with them. However, I do agree that aside from work and one of…

Listen, if you are so good at your job you stand in front of 2 choices. Downgrade time spent and enjoy personal life more or upgrade your title/team/company.

If you are working salaried job and not earning 3x as your peer, yet you worry things will fall apart? Something is not right. Most likely you need to ease a bit on work, see nothing will fall apart or if it does ask for huge raise.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#519

Post by StephenTL22 »

It sounds like you are ready to move into a higher level of 'work'. Your skill means ability to influence and create impact to people and projects is far greater than the code you write. Maybe it's time to redefine your definition of who you are and the work you do?
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