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Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

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71–80 of 175 posts

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#71
Interesting how the core elements of this are similar to what people say about psychedelics.

The whole theme of "People told me about it but I never really understood. Then I tried." and "Feelings/emotions I'd never been able to imagine.", this is exactly the kind of language people use when trying to explain to me why I should try psychedelics. I haven't so far. I don't find it compelling. Wonder if the chemical effects are similar though.

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#73

I just hope Jeff realizes that the amount of work per child is exponential not linear. So having twins will be about four times the work of just one child. Also, I'm sure Jeff has already done the math on this but at at roughly seven diapers per day, 40 diapers per week, 2000 diapers per year, your average child goes through about 5000 diapers. 5K down, 10K to go :)

Yes! And as tempting as it is to think child #2+ later might be 'easier', (because you've already ramped up the learning curve of caring for a baby with #1), you are confronted with the entirely different issue of logistics, especially when both are under 3 and demanding 100% attention when not sleeping. No longer 2 parents that can tag-team to rest, you now have two different schedules and sets of needs that will test parents ability to sleep/get rest/get anything done. The good news is that is is worth it, and it does get much better once they start independent play or playing with each other after 2/3 years.

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#74
post #8

> 49% incredible pain in the ass, 51% most sublime joy you've ever felt; that one percent makes all the difference. Between 49 and 51 I count a difference of two percents? > Turns out, we're having two babies, due in mid-February 2012. Aha. Let's talk again in a year or two, see who you'd throw under a bus. I have three of those myself. I don't really subscribe to this whole "kids are wonderful" cliché. The first kid…

It seems to be taboo to talk about one's children in any way other than describing how incomparably wonderful they are. Talking about the bad stuff is allowed, but only in relation to the incomparable wonderfulness.

I think it's really unfortunate. It gives people unrealistic expectations and makes it that much harder to deal with the bad bits.

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#76

Little tip for any budding writers: Whenever you feel the urge to use the word "enormity", use enormousness or magnitude instead. Especially if you're talking about your children.

This is particularly true if you're writing before the 18th century.

Anyone writing in the 21st century however could just ignore the original meaning of the word and go with the meaning it's picked up over time - that is implying a sense of scale without the negative implications. This definition would be supported by a majority of modern dictionaries.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/enormity http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/enormity http://www.thefreedictionary.com/enormity

See also: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/enormity

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#77
post #11

So true that you can't explain to people. You can try, but they will either get the horror, or the bliss, but they'll never understand the strange and gut-bustingly hard mix of the two, and how quickly it swings from one to the other. When they are defying you and just threw food over the kitchen, you'll get grey hairs trying to fight the urge to blow your top. You'll say things you promised yourself you would never…

One thing that surprised me immensely was the unexpected new perspective and sense of respect for my own parents who had obviously been through it all themselves.

I noticed this too. I started to think of all the times I was mean to my dad or mom, or just an outright bad kid. Totally changes your perspective.

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#78
"As an adult, you may think you've roughly mapped the continent of love and relationships. You've loved your parents, a few of your friends, eventually a significant other. You have some tentative cartography to work with from your explorations. You form ideas about what love is, its borders and boundaries. Then you have a child, look up to the sky, and suddenly understand that those bright dots in the sky are whole other galaxies."

So Jeff is implying that those who choose to never have children will never experience love, life, and the universe with the intensity and awe that parents do. Somehow I'm "missing out". Sorry, but no.

Re: Jeff Atwood On Parenthood

#79
post #63

I love children but I am looking forward to NEVER having them. My sister's got a couple now and my cousin's boys are carrying on the family name for the people in my family who care about that. I think it's incredibly selfish to bring new kids into the world when there are so many that nobody wants. I don't normally say that to people and I don't really hold it against anyone (I do understand the motivations for havi…

> I think it's incredibly selfish to bring new kids into the world when there are so many that nobody wants.

Having a child is a selfish thing to do regardless. That's not really much of an accusation.

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