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Toxic Positivity

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Re: Toxic Positivity

#81

Post by lauraekelly_ »

TheOtherHobbes wrote: post #32
OJFord wrote: post #22

I agree with greatly dislike this, on the surface... but this article suffers from basically the same thing itself?! > I asked our Customer Success Champion, Natasha, about this topic. Empathy is one of her many superpowers. Groan ! ... unless I misunderstood it... now I'm wondering if the 'think positive' lead image was used unironically..?

I don't see any evidence that the writer has that level of self-awareness. I'm increasingly beginning to suspect that business culture is inherently hallucinogenic. Between title inflation (everyone is an "executive" or maybe a "champion" and has "superpowers"), emotional distortions (don't be too negative, don't be too positive, never be sure where the line is or what the correct emotional state is), and perpetual o…

I wonder if you have any self-awareness about the toxicity of making a presumptuous and insulting comment about me, someone you don't know, based only on an article I wrote about toxicity... Or maybe you are just that uncaring about the impact you may have on someone's day? I can take valid criticism and have read the critique on here with genuine interest. However, I don't believe this comment about 'the writer' is necessary. I don't see anywhere I've talked about our "incredible journey" on the post either? This is a little baffling. I thank you for your view and engagement nonetheless.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#82

Post by adrianbd »

As some other comments touch on, what this could be framed as is "Ruinous Empathy", which is what Kim Scott calls it in Radical Candor: https://www.radicalcandor.com/radical-candor-not-brutal-hone....

The crux of it is that it's more useful to give someone a harsh truth that will help them grow (in a tactful way, while conveying that you care about them personally) rather than trying to be nice but ultimately not helping them course correct.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#83

Post by hubbubb »

This is really insightful and I love how it’s presented! The workplace is the most guilty of this in my experience and I wish my previous employers could’ve learned the darn difference. (Also the nature of these comments is the ironic cherry on the vitriol cake)

Re: Toxic Positivity

#84

Post by cxr »

Xylakant wrote: post #27
zeroth32 wrote: post #21

> Airing concerns or struggles in the workplace can be really nerve-wracking. Often, we are afraid of appearing unprofessional. We fear being judged negatively. This is the perfect opportunity to practice active listening. This ^ is toxic positivity. I am not unpaid therapist for my work colleagues. I have my own problems.

OTOH, it’s useful to know when your colleagues are struggling, either professionally or personally. It puts their reactions into context and helps anticipating their performance. If they’re struggling, they will not be giving their best show, as will you and as will I. We’ll all drop the ball, be slower,… and knowing I should expect that helps me, because I can try to cover some of their bases, as will they when I’m…

If you can provide those kinds of affordances to someone after they've informed you that they're "struggling, either professionally or personally", then you can do it without making them have that conversation as a precondition to your charity.

If someone is struggling, that means they're vulnerable. Forcing them to take a gamble by enlarging the "surface area" of the risk that they're exposed to (by advertising it to someone else) is shitty. It punishes people who can't take that risk (in other words, the people most in need of relief) and also (separately, possibly doubly) punishes the people who manage to successfully cover their own bases without slipping or otherwise indicating that any of this is coming at great cost.

Corollary: you should assume that anyone could be struggling at any time (or all the time), and default to giving everyone whatever latitude they've earned and deserve, whether they've had an intimate heart-to-heart with you beforehand or not.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#85

Post by dontbenebby »

Hi vincent_s,

Thanks a lot for sharing this!

I actually deleted my Instagram, along with Facebook, but I've been considering setting up some kind of photo blog where I write out detailed descriptions of the set and setting for every photo I posted there during my time on The Website.

Real life is messy, and what's important is the trendline, not individual data points.

For example, if this was ten years ago, I'd be hung over, barely able to code, trying to get through some dense cryptography paper despite never having taken calculus, nearly punching someone in a cafe because I thought I heard them use a very offensive word for black people, only to have them chuckle and explain it's the name of a group of people in the region between Russia and the parts of China that are home to a different ethnic group.

Instead, I'm running a script I wrote that will help me gather data for an investment theory I'm working on (and will test) while catching up on the news from a location other than my home, because I got tired of unusual coincidences.

You don't want to be a debbie downer, but yeah, too much positivity can be a bad thing, IMHO.

- Greg.

Edit: Whoops, hit post early. I'm still skittish in public due to COVID, sometimes I post too quickly.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#87

Post by alecst »

Ugh, I hate to say this but this article feels like GPT-3.

I realize you can’t really defend against this accusation which makes it a logical fallacy of some kind (ad robotinem?) but I think as the technology develops we do have to become more skeptical that what we read was written by a real person.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#88

Post by coffeefirst »

Mordisquitos wrote: post #5

I very much agree that so-called "toxic positivity" can be a problem, but I found this article greatly lacking in any sort of substance. There are no specific examples of toxic positivity, no explanation as to why its bad other than vacuous general terms repeated ad nauseam (did she mention toxic positivity invalidates lived experiences?), and no in depth explanation as to the alternatives other than what is essentia…

Yeah, this is an ad one of those SaaS products where a computer scans your writing and tells you you're doing it wrong.

There's probably something about excess positivity that's worth talking about. This isn't it.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#89

Post by OJFord »

lauraekelly_ wrote: post #33
OJFord wrote: post #22

I agree with greatly dislike this, on the surface... but this article suffers from basically the same thing itself?! > I asked our Customer Success Champion, Natasha, about this topic. Empathy is one of her many superpowers. Groan ! ... unless I misunderstood it... now I'm wondering if the 'think positive' lead image was used unironically..?

I think people in customer-facing roles should be appreciated for their empathy but yeah I get you :) nope used the cover image ironically Thanks for the feedback

It's more the 'champion' (her job title, not your fault) and 'superpowers' language than it is recognising and valuing someone's empathy.

It comes across as inauthentic to me, though I believe that's not the case. May also be a cultural difference (well, there certainly is, but broadly applicable to our respective nations I mean) since to me it's quite like how you can't offer a simple 'thanks' (resp. cheers!) to a shopkeeper or whoever in the US without being told 'you're so welcome', and probably to 'have a great day now'.

Re: Toxic Positivity

#90

Post by lupire »

trqnw wrote: post #65
Mordisquitos wrote: post #5

I very much agree that so-called "toxic positivity" can be a problem, but I found this article greatly lacking in any sort of substance. There are no specific examples of toxic positivity, no explanation as to why its bad other than vacuous general terms repeated ad nauseam (did she mention toxic positivity invalidates lived experiences?), and no in depth explanation as to the alternatives other than what is essentia…

I agree. This paragraph might explain the lack of substance: Readable’s tone and sentiment tools help you to optimise your content for positivity. Using our sliders, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your language. So the article is an ad for sentiment analysis and has probably been "optimized" by that tool. Hence the vacuous tone that ironically is an example of toxic positivity itself.

This article seems like an employee slyly attacking her employer with malicious compliance with the Brand Voice -- showing everyone how their product ruins writing.
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