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A hacker's loneliness

news.ycombinator.com

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Re: A hacker's loneliness

#61

Post by pjf »

cowmoo wrote: post #44
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

Once a hacker, always a hacker. For anyone who has read J.M. Coetzee knows, he is no F. Scott Fitzgerald, the stereotypical glamorous and superfluous writer; his prose and temperament matches that of a mathematician, rational and precise but nonetheless beautiful in its own right. Without going to the emo's and my personal sob stories, I'll jump right into how I cope with dealing with loneliness and the mainstream so…

By the way, the same applies to Europe.

I would only add: make all your life changes an evolution, not a revolution. If something screws up or turns out not to be exactly what you wanted, you can always revert the small change you made.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#62

Post by iamelgringo »

fgimenez wrote: post #56
iamelgringo wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A group of us do this on a pretty regular basis at Hackers and Founders: http://entrepreneur.meetup.com/1737/ We're getting together Next Wednesday.

Wow, that definitely sounds like something I'll be doing. Unfortunately, I've got 2 midterms on the Thursday afterwards, so I'll have to pass on this Wednesday. Thanks for the heads-up though. Hope to meet you there.

We're getting together almost every other week, so if you can't make this week, we'll have another get together in another couple of weeks.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#64

Post by sgk284 »

phony_identity wrote: post #47
arjungmenon wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

You have too rosy a picture of what your high school classmates were doing. They were mostly wasting their time. What you're calling "dating girls" is better described as "chasing girls", and they were mostly unsuccessful. You need, at most, a bit of moderation. Don't try to be normal - normal sucks.

I don't disagree with "normal sucks", but don't underestimate chasing girls. It can sometimes be more fun than the dating part :)

I've personally been fortunate in finding a great balance between hacking and living, and am grateful for it.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#66

Post by msluyter »

I sorta have the opposite problem. I'm quite introverted and enjoy programming for its own sake, but I have a difficult time making myself work on projects outside of work because it just feels too lonely.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#67

Post by LogicHoleFlaw »

arjungmenon wrote: post #23
menloparkbum wrote: post #6

"Is this indifference to the world a consequence of too much intercourse with machines that give the appearance of thinking? How were he to fare if one day he has to quit computers and rejoin a civilized society?... The more he has to do with computing, the more it seems to him like chess: a tight little world defined by made-up rules, one that sucks in boys of a certain susceptible temperament and then turns them ha…

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

--William Shakespeare

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#68

Post by LogicHoleFlaw »

Jem wrote: post #58
arjungmenon wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

For what it's worth, as a geek girl, I'd rather be with a guy who knew his way around a computer than one who spent his time chasing girls, getting drunk etc (the "normal" young adult things). You just have to find someone to share your life with who matches your interests... there's no point trying to be someone else, someone you're not.

In college I ended up helping found a Science Fiction/Fantasy/Anime/Gaming club which served both as a geeky outlet and as a social hub. I'm still very close with many of the friends I made there. Look for like-minded individuals! They are out there.

Re: A hacker's loneliness

#70

Post by eru »

jkkramer wrote: post #36
arjungmenon wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It makes me regret when I recall how much of my life I've lost to programming. I spend most of my mid-teens (15,16,17) writing pointless C programs (interpreters, compilers, etc. for pathetic new languages that probably no one except me will use). While my classmates from high school went out dating girls, watching new movies, etc.; I would be sitting in front of my computer palms on forehead fixing hard to find C po…

Don't think you have to quit being a geek to be happy or "normal". "Geek" and "normal" are just arbitrary labels. I spent most of my high school and college years same as you. Then I made a slow, concerted effort to balance out (learned to dance, make friends, talk to girls). Today I'm still a geek, but reasonably social and "normal" too -- as much as I care to be, anyway. At any given hour I'm a geek, a socialite, a…

And there are geek girls, too.
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