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Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

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Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#61

Post by 100011_100001 »

EddieDante wrote: post #32

I can't help you with the loneliness part, because I'm just a married, middle-aged techie with no friends of his own. I don't claim to be a 10x developer either, but I tend to deliver cleaner code faster than many of my colleagues and have been roped into many of the same discussions/meetings as you. It seems to be a situation where there are a surfeit of apprentices and a plenitude of journeymen, but a relative dear…

> I've dealt with the stress by discreetly working less.

I have debated this myself. Some other replies said the same thing. It would definitely help me in other parts of my life. How do you handle people messaging you over slack / teams and not responding for hours?

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#62

Post by QuercusMax »

hellisothers wrote: post #6
mooreds wrote: post #2

> I worry that by not being challenged I will become complacent. Fair worry. > What can I do to change things? You should switch jobs. I've been the top technical person at a couple of companies (not the size of your company, however). It can be exhilarating to be "the person". You get a lot of respect and autonomy. But it can be easy to fall into the curse of the expert beginner: https://daedtech.com/how-developers-…

+1. I had a similar crisis when I was a “big fish in a smallish company”, I wasn’t learning, I wasn’t being stretched and felt like I was going to get stuck in this eddy. Move to a bigger company, be challenged again.

Same with me. I was the most senior dev still writing code ~every day, and there was literally no place to grow. Moved to Google and learned a ton, now I'm one of a number of big fishes in my org, and I also feel like I can potentially move on more easily if I want to.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#63

Post by throwaway_dcnt »

I used to be in a similar situation (smartest, most innovative person in a team of nearly 2000 developers), then I jumped ship to a smaller but way more competent team. One one hand, now I occasionally get schooled by some of the smartest people around and love it, on the other, I (very rarely) miss being the king of the hill. I have since come to the conclusion that happiness is not (and should not be) tied to your work identity, what matters is people, friends, family and how one contributes to increasing the beauty of the universe. Sounds lofty and a little vague but that is by design, you have to find what motivates and excites you.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#64

Post by isoprophlex »

Could it be that you're at the point in your career where you've hit the limits of your own scalability?

No matter how well you perform, you're always you. The single one of you. Carrying the burden of excellence, knowing people depend on you to know the answer can wear you out, i empathize with that.

Maybe try finding a role where you aren't contributing individually, but where you are helping others become their own little centres of excellence. Find a new way to scale your abilities, beyond coding yourself. This might mean mentoring, leading a team, if you're up for it. This could be something novel and fresh to do, without entirely abandoning software.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#65

Post by MauranKilom »

phphphphp wrote: post #24

I’ve worked with people who could have written this post with the stats and how they consider themselves, but they were awful to work with. People didn’t challenge them because it was exhausting, because they knew best, despite their constant churning out of garbage code that the business didn’t have the guts to address. That’s not to say you’re bad or your code is bad, but it’s definitely worth considering whether t…

> People didn’t challenge them because it was exhausting, because they knew best, despite their constant churning out of garbage code that the business didn’t have the guts to address.

That doesn't square with how people are going out of their way to query OP though, no? If people drag you into meetings tangential to your work, it seems unlikely that they hate working with you...

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#66

Post by tsss »

ctvo wrote: post #16

I think you're an above average developer working at a below average company. This could be the root of all your problems. Nothing is more frustrating than working with peers you know aren't carrying their weight. Do you want to be an engineering leader? This is what you are, regardless of your official title at your company. Engineering leaders are judged by how much better they make everyone else. You may hear the…

Or he just bangs out a ton of crappy code in the name of "pragmatism", while everyone else has to clean up after him and thus takes longer. I've seen this many times.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#67

Post by zmxz »

IT is full of impostors. You're surrounded by them. You like writing code and solving problems. Your coworkers want to get by. Many people working in IT are like that, that's just how it is - it's a field that pays well and it's hard to catch an impostor. Entry barrier is easy.

However, why do you want peers? Why don't you make the most out of the situation? If you're pulling such weight, you're worth a nice sum of money. Use it, create stable life, start something as a side-gig, OSS project or anything that can attract likely-minded individuals you'd like to spend your time with.

The situation you're in is not grim, it's the opposite. You're the one who gives praise, not the one who gets it. You grant approval, you don't receive it. You're the one who is relied upon, and you yourself don't have a "safety net". It's not bad, it's good.

The hard part is realizing how old we are and what our roles became with the passing of time.

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#68

Post by 100011_100001 »

molyss wrote: post #29

The beginning of your post did sound like a lot of bragging. Once I got to the end, I felt that I could have written a large part of it... Feeling of being rarely challenged, loneliness, frustration with slowness, and urge to go and fix "it" have been very present for me over the past 2-3 years. It's been pretty harmful to my mental health. But it's also forced me to look at the bigger picture. So while I feel like I…

I hate the term 10x as well. I just didn't know how else to phrase it.

If you go to my profile...and translate it you will find my email address. Ping me :)

Re: Tell HN: The loneliness of a pretty good developer

#70

Post by ziddoap »

100011_100001 wrote: post #51
ziddoap wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> two of the people in my direct team are definitely smarter than me How often are you actively learning from and engaging with them on exciting new tech (or the systems you've designed and how they can be further improved, etc.), compared to water-cooler talk?

Probably 2-3 times a week actually. My team is specifically the spear point of new tech and integrating it for the company to use. From a point of self-evaluation I think it would help if I tried to listen more than talk.

From what I've seen here: you have a family life you enjoy, at least a few competent coworkers that you are actively engaging with and learning from, you're successful and sought-after at your place of work in a field you seem to enjoy, you have a hobby that you're consistent with, you have consistent and not overly-demanding work hours, you've tried challenging yourself by changing sectors, etc.

You're hitting all of the points many people are still striving for.

Perhaps it may be worthwhile seeking a professional's opinion, as the problem may be deeper-rooted than can be explored via forum.

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