Ask HN: Thoughts on being “boring”

> A mentor has advised me not to become "boring" and wants me to try to stay entrepreneurial. I still want to be creative

That mentor has an interesting definition of "boring". I agree about trying not to be boring, as so many in tech are boring, but that includes most entrepreneurial people in tech as well.

For me, being "boring" is about a lack of life exploration and participation. Meeting people, investing in relationships, trying new things, traveling, being part of communities, having interests, hobbies, being multi-dimensional, those are what make you fun and interesting, in my opinion, they are also what life is all about.

Sometimes it's hard to be interesting if you're going ahead trying to build a company, single product, single mission, lots of hard work, but it's always the same work, single track, single goal, that's very one dimensional. Because it's a lot of work and can be stressful, it's often all consuming, leaving no space for anything else. That means you can become quite a boring person.

Now sometimes the reward pays off, and after the grind you can expand yourself due to your new found money and connections, but some people just don't make it, or when they do they stay boring, they missed their good years, or they feel they're only good at business now and just repeat the same old same old on a new venture, but it's basically the same thing so they don't really experience new things or have anything more to talk about.

An alternative is to see work as a necessity of taking 40h to pay for all the other life exploration you want to afford. You can then be interesting outside of work, join clubs, travel, try new things, go out, meet people, even if online only, learn things, experiment, become multi-dimensional, have multiple things that define yourself, etc.

How any of this relates to your personal happiness and feeling of accomplishment and worth is only for you to figure out. Some people are happier being boring, and need traditional recognition to feel worthy, like being rich or traditionally successful at business for example. Others are happier focusing only on family. Others are happier being interesting, and having experienced many different things and constantly trying some more. And any combination of the above.

Really? Most of the entrepreneurs I've met have had to do a lot of work, but none of them (this is my personal experience) regret striking out on their own.

Advocating for a resigned alienation from one's work is advocating for living one's life for other people.

I don't buy it.

Just to be a bit contrarian to the excellent existing comments, there is no achievement without effort, and there is no effort if you're never challenged.

I wouldn't abandon failure because it's unpleasant in the moment. "Boring" people, to me, are folks who fear failure. "Exciting" people are folks who find different ways to fail at stuff (that is, they very rarely fail at something for the same reason twice).

If you want to be "exciting", find stuff to fail at. Ideally you'll get better at those things over time, but honestly it's not really necessary if your goal is to experience excitement in your life.

My own life has had phases. I will go through "boring" years where I prioritize safety, security and money. I will go through exciting years where I load up on risks in order to do something new and push myself. I have done gaps years and grind years, travel years and home years. Lonely years, family years. Poor years, rich years.

You don't have to do any of the above. It's your life. But if you are happy where you are at now, that's cool. If you feel ready later to chase the sun, go for it.

I have a great counterpoint quote from Edward Abbey: "One final paragraph of advice: do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am - a reluctant enthusiast....a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it’s still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much; I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound men and women with their hearts in a safe deposit box, and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this; You will outlive the bastards."