Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

calnewport.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

391–400 of 486 posts

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#391

Post by antiframe »

id wrote: post #368
2pEXgD0fZ5cF wrote: post #357

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? This sounds like a misunderstanding. Being happy for friends (real friends not "500 Facebook friends" friends) is not mutually exclusive with these news invoking bad feelings inside you (shame, feeling of inadequacy etc.)

It's not a misunderstanding. I'm also happy for complete strangers. Jeff Bezos is enjoying his Amazon money? Great for him. Also, I can't relate to feelings of shame or inadequacy because someone has something good happening to them. If anything, it motivates me to achieve the same.

> Also, I can't relate to feelings of shame or inadequacy because someone has something good happening to them. If anything, it motivates me to achieve the same.

Those two aspects feel like they are opposing one another. On the one hand, you claim to never feel inadequate, yet when you see others achieving something you haven't yet achieved you claim it motivates you to achieve the same. How is it that you feel adequately achieved in some area yet another's greater success motivates you to achieve more? Most people I know would label that feeling "inadequacy". They don't yet have something they want and strive to get it.

I think the way you label these emotions is unique relative to everyone else I've meet. You're the first person who can't relate to feeling inadequacy yet at the same time feels motivated by things others have achieved.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#392

Post by raxxorraxor »

charstacker wrote: post #149

Consider the following scenario: You're pleased and content one minute, thinking your life is going fine the next. You have a few minutes to kill, so you log onto Facebook and begin scrolling... First, you notice a friend's post stating that she has accepted her ideal job. Then you read a coworker's too political rant. You continue browsing and see a video of your neighbour enjoying a fantastic tropical vacation. And…

Morbid curiosity sometimes makes me seek out death and decay on the internet. Could this be the secret to my happiness?

But seriously, you can self-reflect about you constantly comparing yourself to to others and and some point you really should ask yourself what you want yourself. Even if you assume that the self-presentation of people on the net is honest, winning the social media competition is an illusion.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#393

Post by lostcolony »

fastball wrote: post #167
lostcolony wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure. But in the same way that 24 hour news networks are an obvious detriment compared to brief half hour or hour long "evening news" programs, social media's patterns to keep you engaged are also a detriment compared with, say, a quick text to the people you care about checking in. There's a real positive buried in there, but the financial incentive to capture eyeballs turns it into a negative.

> obvious detriment compared to brief half hour or hour long "evening news" This is not obvious to me personally. I don't think it matters how much you consume the news as much as it matters what the news is . And the news these days is almost entirely negative, even in a half-hour-long evening news segment.

The news has always been "almost entirely negative", even when the only source was newspapers. But being informed of what's going on, vs being clueless; there's a societal benefit in having an informed citizenry.

This does presume that that half hour or hour is not a purely editorial function (think Walter Cronkite vs Tucker Carlson), and that the goal is to actually cover the news of the world, not create partisan wedges and glue eyeballs (again, same comparison). But even if it's negative, understanding what is going on matters, and is likely a net gain for society, with a minimal individual cost.

What isn't a net gain is being so consumed by world events (or worse, editorialized versions of world events) that you lose sight on your personal world, and are unable to enjoy the moments around you. A similar effect is at play with social media.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#394

Post by emteycz »

k_sze wrote: post #378
emteycz wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't see how that proves anything specific to social media, I'm "unfollowing" people IRL all the time, it's not like I want to hear everything someone has to say, especially not if it makes me sad.

> especially not if it makes me sad. Now I wonder whether you're pulling my leg.

I just can't see the reason why this is about social media, and not about personal relations in general. Someone makes me sad IRL - I don't listen to them. Someone makes me sad on social media - well I don't listen to them. Where's the difference?

I can understand the scale argument, but I can't see why it's a problem after I've unfollowed the problematic accounts.

At one point in my life, I unfollowed literally every FB friend I had - because I wanted to follow my groups but my friends' posts were too political and this kind of talk had a bad effect on me. I can't see why people just don't do that when social media makes them sad.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#395

Post by cteiosanu »

charstacker wrote: post #149

Consider the following scenario: You're pleased and content one minute, thinking your life is going fine the next. You have a few minutes to kill, so you log onto Facebook and begin scrolling... First, you notice a friend's post stating that she has accepted her ideal job. Then you read a coworker's too political rant. You continue browsing and see a video of your neighbour enjoying a fantastic tropical vacation. And…

Shouldn't we work as a society towards a type of education that promotes self confidence (more than self esteem) and makes an effort to reduce bragging ?

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#396

Post by clausewitz »

guerrilla wrote: post #287
sdevonoes wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I find it bizarre that you do. Why? Feeling envious is just human nature. Sure, one can argue that in our current society that kind of feeling is "bad", and we should "fix it". I tend to agree, but that you find it bizarre, it's bizarre to me :D Oh well, maybe you are a machine (based on your nickname), so yeah, machines do not have imperfections (just kidding).

> Feeling envious is just human nature. Or maybe it's not and that's just something you tell yourself to feel better about being an asshole.

Uhh, no. Envy, like every other human emotion, is just that. One part of the vast spectrum of how we perceive the world and its inhabitants.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#397

Post by malauxyeux »

guerrilla wrote: post #287
sdevonoes wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I find it bizarre that you do. Why? Feeling envious is just human nature. Sure, one can argue that in our current society that kind of feeling is "bad", and we should "fix it". I tend to agree, but that you find it bizarre, it's bizarre to me :D Oh well, maybe you are a machine (based on your nickname), so yeah, machines do not have imperfections (just kidding).

> Feeling envious is just human nature. Or maybe it's not and that's just something you tell yourself to feel better about being an asshole.

Does feeling envy make someone an asshole in your eyes? Do you believe that people who feel envy can choose to not feel it? If they can't choose not to feel it, are they doomed to be an asshole (by your definition) for the rest of their lives, barring some change outside of their control?

To me, simply feeling envy (or any negative emotion) doesn't really say anything about the person. Actively stoking negative emotions or acting on them moves the needle in the direction of asshole, though.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#398

Post by Maximus9000 »

fastball wrote: post #167
lostcolony wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure. But in the same way that 24 hour news networks are an obvious detriment compared to brief half hour or hour long "evening news" programs, social media's patterns to keep you engaged are also a detriment compared with, say, a quick text to the people you care about checking in. There's a real positive buried in there, but the financial incentive to capture eyeballs turns it into a negative.

> obvious detriment compared to brief half hour or hour long "evening news" This is not obvious to me personally. I don't think it matters how much you consume the news as much as it matters what the news is . And the news these days is almost entirely negative, even in a half-hour-long evening news segment.

I disagree. This article talks about this

"Studies have linked poor mental health to news exposure during negative and traumatic events such as terrorist attacks or natural disasters; the more news a person consumes during and after these events, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, stress and anxiety. For example, a 2014 study surveyed 4,675 Americans in the weeks following the Boston Marathon bombings and collected data on how much media they consumed. Participants who engaged with more than six hours of media coverage per day were nine times more likely to also experience symptoms of high acute stress than those who only watched a minimal amount of news."

https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/science-doomscrolling/stor...

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#399

Post by clausewitz »

id wrote: post #233
chenxi9649 wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you're in the minority either. We experience joy from the joy of those around us. I think the disagreement here mostly stems from a different definition of "friend". For most ppl, the friends they see on their FB/IG feed aren't actually "friends"... but more like acquaintances. Often times they're people that you've only met a few times and haven't seen in many years. Though, even with close friends, so…

But even when it comes to acquaintances, when I hear about their great new job or vacation, I don't feel envious or bad. I compare myself to other people, yes, and of course I'd like to have some of the things I see, but not to the point that I would feel bad. Does every story about someone being successful make you feel bad? I doubt it, as that is not my personal experience at all .

You keep grouping envy with inherently negative mindsets. Sometimes envy is just envy. As in, "damn, John is married with kids and a great job, and I'm still single and scraping by, I gotta get my shit together". I am not upset that John has these things, I am happy my friend John is happy. It also served as a reminder of what I want for myself, and thus, my envy is a motivator.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#400

Post by fredgrott »

I am wondering why they did not break out social media by types. As there are social media sites not driven by the ad-eyes metrics that seem to be better at more reasonable discussion but not always. Examples would be this site itself versus 4chan. Both are not ad driven, but 4chan seem to be toxic compared to this one.
Post reply on HN