Ask HN: How to break anxiety/fear-avoidance cycle?

When nothing seemed to work, I tried Zembrin as an OTC experiment if it was "just chemistry". It really worked for me, takes a few weeks to work, and it wasn't anything obvious - in fact I didn't think it was working until I forgot to take it for a few days and felt anxiety creeping back in. It got me into the right headspace to tackle the overwhelming amount of stuff life was throwing at me without having to take any more serious drugs which I try to avoid. YMMV and I would completely exhaust all non-chemical options before trying it, and if it doesn't work I'd seek professional help (specifically cognitive behavioural therapy - which you can try without professional guidance too but need a deep understanding of to do)

In the meantime, these observations have helped me in the past:

A) Nobody really cares if you fail, those who love you will still love you if you fail. Everyone is more self-absorbed than it feels. People care when you succeed.

B) Some amount of stress is benefical - don't think you have to eliminate it. Think of it like blood pressure - no pressure and no blood moves through your body and stagnates - too much pressure and your veins will burst - just the right amount of stress keeps you strong and moving. Comfort kills - but so does TOO MUCH stress. There's a sweet spot that's just beyond your comfort zone.

C) Keep a TODO list - be it GTD or whatever. Having everything on paper for me is very calming, otherwise if you have more things to do than your working memory can handle (IE 7-10 things), in other words if you have a pulse in 2021, then it will feel overwhelming because it's literally beyond your minds ability to keep track of.

[edit: removed one observation that wasn't related to OPs situation]

Instead, go to a properly educated professional with whatever the title is called in your country, like a "Doctor of Psychology" (someone with a professional doctoral degree in clinical psychology / a title with legal protection to be able to use it.)

It often makes a lot of difference in terms of the result.

What country are you in where such a thing is not always required?

I agree though. For every 100 therapists, I would say that maybe 5 know what they are doing, and maybe even up to 15 or 20 are willingly abusive or cause more damage

They're not the ultimate solution, only useful when I need to focus on something and just do it™, but it's the perfect tool to train my brain.

I can see now why kids are put on Adderall/etc then they stop taking them in adulthood. It always seemed very strange to me, but yeah, they help create habits that will stick for the rest of your life (starting work, focusing, just doing stuff that needs to be done).

The sooner you build them, the better. 30's is a quite late, but I hope not too late.