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Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

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Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#281

Post by bayindirh »

MezzoDelCammin wrote: post #241
bayindirh wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think HN fits to the "Social Media" of today. It's more of a slow churning RSS feed with comments underpinned by a strong social contract. Another difference is, while we disagree, we don't fight bona fide flame wars. A more civilized and skilled discussion is favored here, and this is a very good thing (TM) . Feeling a lot of completed projects or new things kindle the impostor syndrome sometimes, but it's n…

I agree about the discussion being (mostly) civilized. But I'm really asking myself to what degree is this because of the admins dedication to their job and to what degree is this by design / users selection. I'm in a few FB groups that are not too far of the mark either when it comes to the debate rules, but moderating one of them, I see that keeping things civilized is not really something one can automatize or put…

Of course, a social media is not limited to the "brands" everyone uses, but I wanted to separate them because most people think of these "brands" when anyone says social media.

The quality of a place goes hand in hand with community and dedication of moderation. HN's moderation is mostly invisible and there's a well evolved structure. This is only half of the picture. We as the community support this structure, because we like it too.

Humans are humans and language has many nuances to be automatically moderated by AI/ML. The only useful help we can get from AI/ML can be flagging some stuff for taking a look. Last decision shall be done by humans at the end of the day.

However, at the end of the day, quality of a community is part moderation and part community. Everything else is a byproduct of that.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#283

Post by weatherlite »

laputan_machine wrote: post #187
eafkuor wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. If this would be your genuine reaction, congratulations. You belong to the 0.001% of the population that would feel this way.

If a friend gets a great job or starts to live a healthy life you don't feel great for them? I don't believe that puts me in the minority of people, not a chance.

A lot of this depends on how one's life is going. It is easy and natural to be genuinely happy for others when you are satisfied with your own life. But if I became unemployed and my friend got into Google then yeah...happiness level will be limited. There is a sound evolutionary explanation on why that is so.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#284

Post by tappio »

amelius wrote: post #229
laputan_machine wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Genuinely happy, of course! I want to see my friends and family succeed in life and enjoy it. I don't feel like a lesser person in any way, I feel proud of them.

What kind of therapy is recommended to get into this state of being?

Sorry, it's only available for 0.0001% of population and unfortunately you are not one of the lucky ones.

Fortunately, empathy and epistemological pluralism can make your life bearable.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#285

Post by harryvederci »

nickstinemates wrote: post #273

I think it depends on how and why you use social media. For me, having picked Twitter back up recently after having been mostly dormant for the past 4 years or so, it is about inspiration. The next thing for me is to create a startup. I am immersing myself back in to the heartbeat / pulse of what's going on and thinking about how my ideas intersect with this. There are a lot of inspiring projects I am following latel…

If twitter works for you then that's great, but if[0] you're purely seeking inspiration for creating a startup, you could consider listening to podcasts like Indie Hackers instead. It's probably way less of an attention black hole, but still inspirational.

[0] I can't tell from your comment if that's the sole purpose. If not: never mind.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#287

Post by guerrilla »

sdevonoes wrote: post #272
laputan_machine wrote: post #254

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've never felt envy towards my friends and family. No, never. I find it bizarre that you do. I never said I don't feel envy. You jumped to conclusions based on a very little sentence I wrote. I currently have a very severe skin condition, and I live in a country with 'free' healthcare. I am envious that some people get medical treatment for it and can live a normal life again and some people do not (such as myself).…

> I find it bizarre that you do. Why? Feeling envious is just human nature. Sure, one can argue that in our current society that kind of feeling is "bad", and we should "fix it". I tend to agree, but that you find it bizarre, it's bizarre to me :D Oh well, maybe you are a machine (based on your nickname), so yeah, machines do not have imperfections (just kidding).

> Feeling envious is just human nature.

Or maybe it's not and that's just something you tell yourself to feel better about being an asshole.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#288

Post by jtbayly »

laputan_machine wrote: post #187
eafkuor wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If other people find their ideal job, have a tropical vacation, etc. it makes me feel... good? Those are good things in general, although the tropical vacation might make me also feel concerned about the climate. If this would be your genuine reaction, congratulations. You belong to the 0.001% of the population that would feel this way.

If a friend gets a great job or starts to live a healthy life you don't feel great for them? I don't believe that puts me in the minority of people, not a chance.

“Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.” Gore Vidal

This is not a rare feeling.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#289

Post by weatherlite »

SyzygistSix wrote: post #262
ycombinete wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I once heard someone say, "nothing in life hurts more than the success of a friend"

That is a truly warped mindset.

Most of us commenting here live in competitive, capitalistic societies and a lot of our sense of self worth and self esteem comes from comparison (mostly comparing to our friends, colleagues and siblings) - and the metrics as we all know are stuff like career/money and other social status metrics. Feelings of envy are completely involuntary btw so there is no need to pretend like feeling them or not feeling is some kind of moral virtue - you don't control what you feel or don't feel. It sounds reasonable to me to speculate that these feelings have an evolutionary basis - e.g when you were envious of your neighbor's cave you felt crappy and worked harder on your own cave, thus increasing your own survival rate and the prevalence of envious genes. We are a biological creature designed for survival and envy seems very important to me in achieving it.

Does that mean we have to be slaves to our genes? I hope not. People like Sam Harris and others offer all kinds of methods to detach and "win" over our biology.

Re: Taking a break from social media makes you happier and less anxious

#290

Post by tappio »

The studies focusing on social media are a bit dummy. I'm doing a PhD on the topic and I too feel like a dummy. Everyone has a different definition of social media, but we can't really generalize findings on all platforms. The studies should focus on services with their names, but then they would be less interesting. Are Twitter and Facebook the same? Can we generalize findings on one to another? No we can't. Besides, is HN a social media platform? Or Reddit? Talking about social media does not make much sense. It also hides out the fact that in the end everything is about the internet and digital content, together forming the new mass medium which is taking the world by storm.
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