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Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

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41–50 of 264 posts

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#41
It's impossible to convince most people of even the most obvious truths. The wisest path is to fake agreement, keep your thoughts for yourself and move away ASAP.

Online it seems you can get away with more honest talk without consequences. Or at least it used to. Now it's getting more like offline.

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#43
post #11

HN is a strongly self-selected group of people, with rules against bad-faith arguments. But you can find groups like that in real life too. The special thing about online is that when an obscure topic comes up, someone from the 0.0001% of people with deep knowledge of that subject can chime in. That dynamic basically never happens IRL, because you need a million eyeballs. Like, outside of NASA, where would you encoun…

> HN is a strongly self-selected group of people, with rules against bad-faith arguments I'd love to see those rules enforced someday. There are plenty of examples of such arguments to be found here.

Please downvote or flag them.

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#45
In the real world, there is always a low level threat of violence that keeps people in check. People get bolder as the threat of violence approaches zero.

In the civilized world, men will not be so quick to argue fiercely with other men as the probability of a violent outcome is higher. Contrast with women, who will often verbally assault without limit, simply because they enjoy the benefits of the fact that it is not as socially acceptable for a man to pound their face in, and because other women are not as likely to resort to violence.

It is ironic that the threat of violence is necessary to keep society peaceful and civilized in a scalable way.

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#46
To answer this scientifically, you would need to observe the same sample of people both offline and online. If you compare conversations with people you work with or chose to socialize with to conversations between random strangers on the internet, you have a pretty clear difference between your experimental and control groups.

People communicating in person to tend to be more likely to avoid conflict and insults. (I think this is because it's easier to walk away from an online conversation, while you're stuck with someone in physical space). But in my experience, a jerk is a jerk. Online or offline.

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#47

#1 skin in the game. In person interactions can have greater immediate consequences than online actions. If someone is in your social group, you might see them again and have to deal with the consequences of actions/behavior. Positive impressions can reward you in the future. #2 Reputation and anonymity You can't easily reboot your IRL identity and reputation, but usually can on forums like HN

> skin in the game

Literally. If people acted IRL the way they do online, there'd be a major uptick in face punches.

Re: Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

#48
Online, you only see people with strong opinions, that actively decide to take part in the discussion. You don’t see the people silently scrolling by the comments. In real life (in Most Social situations), people are physically near and feel obliged to talk to others, even if they don’t really want to.
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