Ask HN: Why are people in real life so different?

Maybe there's a sample bias because of the online communities I visit (like HN) and the real world that I live in, but in general, I've observed that people in real life seem overly concerned about keeping things "harmonious", with all the small-talk, the lack of real listening, talking past each other, not voicing differing perspectives, etc. They also seem to lack patience in various things, whether that's discussing or examining something (can't think of examples right now), and would rather "go back to their own lives". In contrast people online seem so much more generous.

I'm guessing this is partially because "being on the internet" naturally filters people. But what else is there? What's your experience with people online vs in real life? Why do you think this is the case?

I've seen my fair share of 'Keyboard Warriors'[0] over the years. For some reason people feel more empowered once there's a keyboard there, because hey, computers are cool, let's ride that wave.

[0] https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Keyboard%20W...

In the limit I think this probably comes down to primate dynamics regarding in vs out-groups.

However, as soon as they are sat in front of someone and are picking up on the visual clues in facial expressions and body language which make it clear that what they are saying is actually affecting a real person with feelings, almost everyone has a profound sense of empathy or guilt.